Heaven’s Threshold Page 1 HEAVEN’S THRESHOLD: A Three-Year Odyssey By JULIE LEWIS

Heaven’s Threshold Page 2 Copyright © 2026 by Julie Lewis All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. This book is a work of faith-based writing. Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version (NIV), unless otherwise noted. Other translations are used where indicated. The author makes no guarantees regarding the results that may be obtained from the use of the information in this book. The content is provided for inspirational and educational purposes only and reflects the author’s personal beliefs, experiences, and interpretations of Scripture.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 3 Any references to real people, events, or organizations are used in a truthful manner. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, not specifically identified, is purely coincidental. Published by: Independently Published ISBN: 979-8-182-46797-1

Heaven’s Threshold Page 4 I dedicate this book to my family, whose unwavering love and support have been my guiding light. To everyone facing life’s hardships, this book offers solace, strength, and hope. It is for you that these pages exist, a testament to resilience and the power of perseverance.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 5 Table Of Contents INTRODUCTION………………………………………. 8 CHAPTER 1: HOW IT BEGAN…………………………16 CHAPTER 2: THE BREAKUP………………………….. 31 CHAPTER 3: PAGES OF REFLECTION: A JOURNEY THROUGH INK…………………………………………43 CHAPTER 4: A NEW BEGINNING…………………… 49 CHAPTER 5: THE SPIRITUAL GIFTS OF SCRIPTURE …………………………………………………………….52 CHAPTER 6: THE HELPER WHO WALKS WITH US………………………………………………………... 54 CHAPTER 7: BATTLES BEYOND THE FLESH…………69

Heaven’s Threshold Page 6 CHAPTER 8: CAN’T SLEEP……………………………. 78 CHAPTER 9: CHRISTIAN DUTIES……………………….83 CHAPTER 10: JOURNEY THROUGH FAITH……………88 CHAPTER 11: ONLY GOD COULD HAVE KNOWN……… ……………………………………………………………….98 CHAPTER 12: WAVES OF GRACE: EMBRACING DIVINE FAVOR…………………………………………………... 107 CHAPTER 13: MY JOURNAL; MY GENEALOGY………… ……………………………………………………………..113 CHAPTER 14: ECHOES OF THE DIVINE……………...119 CHAPTER 15: A GENESIS EXPERIENCE……………...123 CHAPTER 16: THE DEVIL'S ARRIVAL…………………136

Heaven’s Threshold Page 7 CHAPTER 17: DIVINE PATHWAYS: THE JOURNEY TO WHOLENESS……………………………………………...148 CHAPTER 18: THE ENCOUNTER OF THE WOMAN CAUGHT IN ADULTERY STORY……………………….153 CHAPTER 19: BEATITUDES…………………………….166 CHAPTER 20: MISTAKES WE MAKE…………………...168 EPILOGUE………………………………………………..170 REFERENCES…………………………………………….173

Heaven’s Threshold Page 8 INTRODUCTION his is a deeply personal account of my journey with God over a transformative three-year period. It reflects on the countless blessings He has bestowed upon me and continues to pour into my life. I am continually growing in my faith and advancing in various aspects of my life. His mercy, grace, and the power of prayer have been evident over me. Considering the billions of people on earth, it is remarkable that God would communicate with me as though I were conversing with another person. That He, in His infinite love and wisdom, would show such profound concern for my well-being, guiding me away from paths that could have led to the loss of everything I held dear. He stood by me during the most critical and fragile moments of my life, offering unwavering support, guidance, and strength to navigate challenges that once seemed insurmountable. His presence became a constant reminder that I was never alone, even in my darkest times. Who am I that the Creator of all things would extend His hand to guide me through life’s trials and tribulations? That He, in His boundless grace and mercy, would rescue me from the brink of self-destruction and gently lead me onto a path of hope and renewal? T

Heaven’s Threshold Page 9 It is humbling to reflect on how He, who knows the depths of my heart, cares so deeply that He meets me in moments of despair, bringing light into darkness and strength when I had none. His love reminds me of my worth in His eyes, even when I struggle to see it myself. He comes to heal the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds. It is to Him we cry, “Abba, Father.” “He came to set the captives free” conveys a profound message of liberation, hope, and redemption. In Christian theology, it reflects Jesus’ mission to release humanity from spiritual bondage. The “captives” represent those enslaved by sin, guilt, fear, or injustice, while the “freedom” speaks of the transformation found in faith, forgiveness, and salvation. This truth also carries a broader meaning. It points to deliverance from every form of oppression, whether physical, emotional, or societal. Jesus’ life and teachings consistently emphasized justice, mercy, and compassion for the marginalized, offering freedom to those weighed down by burdens. In essence, this message reveals a universal promise of restoration for all who feel bound in any way. It speaks not only to the spirit, but also to the ongoing pursuit of healing, justice, and renewal in our lives and in the world around us.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 10 I convinced myself that no one could hurt me because I had already endured so much pain. I struggled to live life on my own terms, yet I felt trapped, guarded and fortified like Fort Knox, with towering walls around my heart. But God knew I needed to process my pain step by step. My testimony is not easy to explain or put into words. The remarkable events that unfolded during those three years remain unforgettable. Reaching the point of surrendering my life to Jesus was essential, and I recognize that I could not have arrived there without divine guidance. At the time, I did not understand everything, but God assured me that clarity would come. I have since learned to trust His divine guidance, as spoken of by the prophets, relinquishing my own understanding and allowing Him to lead me. This transformation did not happen overnight; it has been a gradual and ongoing process. He is the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. Our God is a great and mighty God. God shows mercy according to His will: “Therefore, God has mercy on whom He wants to have mercy, and He hardens whom He wants to harden” (Romans 9:18).

Heaven’s Threshold Page 11 Over the course of those three years, I experienced His grace and divine favor. God equipped me with the tools I needed to overcome my infirmities, though I am still a work in progress. Many people find it difficult to share their spiritual experiences, for reasons such as fear, discomfort, or the desire for approval. Yet, it is important to tell these stories, as they can inspire and guide others. What follows is an account of my own spiritual journey. It brings to mind the well-known parable of stewarding one’s talents, a powerful illustration of responsibility, growth, and faithfulness in what we have been entrusted with. The Parable of the Talents (Matthew 25:14–30) “It will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his property to them. To one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one, each according to his ability. Then he went away. The man who had received five talents went at once and put his money to work and gained five more. Likewise, the one who had received two talents gained two more. But the man who had received one talent went off, dug a hole in the ground, and hid his master’s money.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 12 After a long time, the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them. The man who had received five talents came forward, bringing five more. “Master, he said, you entrusted me with five talents. See, I have gained five more.” His master replied, “Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Enter into the joy of your master.” The man with two talents also came. “Master, he said, you entrusted me with two talents. See, I have gained two more.” His master replied, “Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Enter into the joy of your master.” Then the man who had received one talent came. “Master, he said, I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. So, I was afraid, and I went out and hid your talent in the ground. Here is what belongs to you.” His master replied, “You wicked and lazy servant! You knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed?

Heaven’s Threshold Page 13 Then you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned, I would have received it back with interest.” “So, take the talent from him and give it to the one who has ten talents. For whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them. And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.” The key lesson of this parable emphasizes the wise use of one’s abilities, highlighting the importance of personal responsibility, the willingness to take faithful risks, and the rewards of diligent stewardship. When we are faithful to Christ, He remains faithful to us, securing our hope of salvation when He returns. This parable closely relates to the Parable of the Ten Virgins in the book of Matthew. Both illustrate the importance of spiritual readiness, vigilance, and preparation in anticipation of the Kingdom of Heaven. Sharing your story can inspire others in powerful ways, because personal experiences carry a unique ability to connect and resonate deeply. Here are some of the ways your story can make an impact: Showing the Possibility of Overcoming Challenges: When others see how you navigated through difficult times, it can offer them hope and courage to face their own obstacles.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 14 Fostering Empathy and Understanding: Your story can open minds and hearts by helping others see the world through your perspective, breaking down barriers and creating a sense of unity. Motivating Action: Your achievements or personal growth can be a catalyst for someone else to take action, whether it’s pursuing their dreams, building resilience, or making positive changes in their lives. Creating a Ripple Effect: You never know how far your words can reach. Inspiring one person can lead them to inspire another, and so on, creating a chain of positive influence. Normalizing Vulnerability: By being open, you demonstrate that it’s okay to share emotions and struggles, which can encourage others to do the same and foster a culture of support and openness. Your story is a gift and sharing it may be exactly what someone else needs to find strength or inspiration. According to Isaiah 55:9, God’s thoughts and ways are far higher than ours: “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.” This reminds us of the vast difference between human understanding and divine wisdom.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 15 Jeremiah 29:11 further reassures us of His goodness and intention: “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope.” My dependence today is grounded in the Word of God. Contrary to some beliefs, God is not defined by wrath alone. He is inherently good and purposeful in all He does. While He does not prevent every hardship, He is not the author of evil. Many of life’s painful circumstances arise from the actions of Satan or from human sin. God has given us free will, allowing us to choose our paths. Yet, even within that freedom, His justice and impartiality remain evident in how He relates to all people.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 16 CHAPTER 1: HOW IT BEGAN uring a particularly challenging period of my life, I experienced an unusual sensation in my upper abdomen. At a difficult point in my marriage, I found myself feeling overwhelmed by my circumstances. My life had been difficult, and during an argument with my husband, I became increasingly frustrated. His persistent behavior over the years began to affect me deeply. Feeling unworthy, I looked up toward the sky and cried out to God in anger. Suddenly, I heard a voice say, “Don’t blame Me for putting your mind in a stupor.” It was a confusing and overwhelming moment. He told me I had an illness, to which I responded, “What illness?” He also said, “You will be under My wings for three years.” Shouting at God is not advisable. I have always loved God and would never intentionally do so, but at that time, I was not in a sound state of mind. I did not fully understand true love and often sought it in people, particularly in romantic relationships. Many young girls imagine a fairy-tale romance like Cinderella’s, but reality is often different. Marriage requires intentional effort, commitment, and growth to succeed. D

Heaven’s Threshold Page 17 Love manifests in many forms and is reflected through our actions. As human beings, we are naturally prone to mistakes, and these experiences serve as opportunities for learning. Persistently using the same approach while expecting a different outcome reflects the principle of trial and error. It reveals determination to succeed but also highlights the importance of recognizing when a change in strategy is necessary to achieve better results. Deep down, I carried unresolved anger because I often felt that I was never truly right or validated. I experienced severe depression and was going through a breakup. As the situation progressed, it moved beyond my control and eventually led toward divorce. My past experiences with childhood trauma did not make things easier. I later realized that I had not fully processed those experiences and had suppressed much of what I went through. Although these feelings of resentment, anger, hurt, and unforgiveness were deeply rooted within me, they were difficult to manage. Nevertheless, I persevered and continued navigating through life. While the intensity of my trauma gradually lessened and I no longer experienced physical movements during sleep, I noticed that whenever someone approached me while I was half asleep, I would instinctively flail my arms, as though attempting to protect myself. I had deep-rooted issues and longed for more joy, but things became increasingly unmanageable and continued to worsen. My depression was

Heaven’s Threshold Page 18 heavy, and I began self-medicating with alcohol to cope. I had also used recreational drugs occasionally. I did not enjoy marijuana, as it intensified my trauma. At times, I used cocaine and other substances, but alcohol remained my primary substance, typically consumed during social gatherings with friends and on weekends. My life became especially unmanageable when a girlfriend introduced me to methamphetamines. I began using it, as it made me feel more energetic and temporarily masked my emotional pain. Over time, however, it took a serious toll on my health. I ate very little, lost a significant amount of weight, and my mind became fatigued from overuse, even as I tried to conceal what was happening. The substances I used were not laced with fentanyl. However, many drugs today carry significant risks, as they are often contaminated with fentanyl, a substance responsible for countless tragic deaths, especially among young people. This ongoing crisis is both alarming and heartbreaking. A friend of mine lost a child to heroin, which was likely laced with fentanyl. I eventually stopped using when I realized the impact it was having on my life and recognized the disappointment I felt I was bringing to Jesus. We all have free will, and with that comes responsibility and consequences for our actions. This realization became a turning point that led me to change my behavior, though I wish this awareness had come under better circumstances.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 19 In the process, I began attributing many of life’s difficulties and my childhood hardships to God, even when I did not fully understand it at the time. I often felt as though there was little opportunity for success. My situation became even more challenging during the divorce proceedings and the custody dispute. Reflecting back, I recognize a profound sense of divine intervention throughout that time. When I was told I had an illness, it came as a surprise. I had sensed that something was wrong, but I did not fully understand what it was. Later, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and I also came to understand that I struggle with intrusive thoughts. For the most part, I have experienced periods of deep depression and episodes of mania, along with occasional sleep deprivation. At one point, while under significant stress, I remained awake for eight consecutive days, which ultimately led to my hospitalization. There were no substances in my system, and I was not diagnosed with any form of psychosis. It was, in essence, a complete mental and physical breakdown. Navigating the process of finding the right medications and treatments has been incredibly difficult. Managing the weight of mood swings, along with PTSD, adds further emotional and mental strain. Through it all, I believe God showed mercy and spared my life. Although I have not always lived as a devout Christian, I have consistently maintained a belief in God. At times, I have felt a deep desire to engage more

Heaven’s Threshold Page 20 fully with Scripture and have sought different ways to grow spiritually and find fulfillment in my faith. During my childhood, evening prayers became a nightly ritual, guided by my mother before bedtime. She encouraged faith in God for me and my siblings, consistently reminding us, “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.” Even in the midst of difficulties, she shared sayings that still resonate with me today, such as, “Can’t has never done a thing.” Her words were always uplifting and encouraging. In Matthew 7:12, it is written: “Therefore, whatever you want others to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.” This teaching, often referred to as the Golden Rule, emphasizes loving God and others by treating people as we ourselves would wish to be treated. It captures the essence of the Law and the Prophets, two major sections of the Old Testament. If we truly loved others as deeply as we love ourselves, it would bring about a profound transformation within us and make society a more compassionate and safer place. Yet, despite the strength of this message, many find it difficult to live it out in practice. However, my father’s abusive behavior persisted, and domestic violence continued to cast a shadow over our household. He hurt everyone in the home, often finding ways to assert control and express his own pain

Heaven’s Threshold Page 21 through others. The fear he created was constant and overwhelming. The bruises and physical pain told one part of the story, but his harsh and demeaning words cut just as deeply, leaving invisible wounds that lingered long after. These experiences shaped how we saw ourselves and one another. Home did not feel like a place of safety; instead, it often felt like a place where survival meant staying quiet and small. I also faced criticism and instability growing up. The police were frequently called due to incidents of domestic violence, but my mother never pressed charges out of fear and a sense of helplessness. Over time, the laws surrounding domestic violence have changed, and victims are no longer required to press charges for action to be taken. Later, my father passed away in an automobile accident while on his way to work. He was participating in a carpool when a drunk driver collided with the vehicle on his side. At that time, I was already dealing with significant challenges due to my upbringing, and I remember feeling emotionally numb and indifferent about his survival. My mother was also a victim in her own right, having been married at the age of sixteen. Children often internalize their environments, and many of these early experiences had a lasting impact on me. As a child, I often felt different from others, even though I tried to conceal it outwardly. I was also harassed by some children in the neighborhood.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 22 My childhood was filled with challenges, and it often felt as though I was navigating two separate realities at once. I was called “dumb” at times, and there were moments when I may have appeared that way due to the circumstances I was in. According to my father, I was considered very bright at the age of two; however, physical and sexual abuse began when I was four, which likely affected my cognitive and emotional development. Neighborhood bullies, as well as some family members, called me many names while growing up. Over time, I found myself becoming more withdrawn and childlike, possibly as a coping mechanism in response to the abuse. This shift felt like a retreat into a simpler, more innocent state where I could feel a sense of safety and protection from the complexities of pain. In some ways, it became a means of preserving a sense of wonder and vulnerability that had been overshadowed. Some people assumed I was jealous of my younger sister, but that was not true. Unfortunately, my older sister also began to treat me unkindly, adding to the emotional strain I was already experiencing. Growing up, I had very few clothes, and many of them did not match or fit well. At school, teasing from classmates felt relentless, and my mismatched clothing became a constant source of ridicule. It was not only about clothes, it was about feeling out of place, exposed, and vulnerable. Those moments stayed with me and shaped how I viewed myself and interacted with others. Over time, they created a deep sense of self-

Heaven’s Threshold Page 23 consciousness that felt difficult to overcome, leaving me with a lingering feeling that I never truly belonged. I also developed physically at an early age, including the early development of breasts, which further contributed to my self-consciousness during that time. My siblings and I often used humor as a coping mechanism; laughter helped us endure even the most difficult situations. I participated in Camp Fire Girls, competed in school sports, played softball, practiced cheerleading, and spent time socializing with friends. Despite these activities, I remained silent about what was happening at home. The shame was overwhelming, even though, deep down, I wished someone had noticed and intervened. It often felt as though I was living in two separate worlds, torn between the appearance of normalcy and the hidden struggles I carried within. During my younger years, we moved several times. One of our relocations took us from California to North Idaho, where my parents settled and started a restaurant business in a small, quiet town. The local school served students from first through twelfth grade. There, I learned to cook on a grill, prepare food, and assist with tasks such as washing dishes. In a small town, children tend to spend time together regardless of age. Many of them drank heavily, and this environment contributed to my own introduction to alcohol and smoking.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 24 The town had four bars, along with a single café operated by my parents. The café was modest and old-fashioned by today’s standards, featuring a homemade milkshake machine. These machines were typically made of stainless steel with a sturdy, industrial design, built to withstand heavy use in busy diners. There was no dishwasher, only a steam sterilization process and sink. Using tongs, we carefully removed glasses from extremely hot water. After cooking on a grill for so long, transitioning back to a regular stove later in life felt unfamiliar. After some time, circumstances became difficult for my parents, prompting us to relocate once again, this time returning to their home state of Ohio. This transition was significant for me, as it meant leaving behind friends and familiar surroundings. Ohio presented a different environment, but I was able to form new friendships, some of which I still maintain to this day. We later relocated again, traveling by motorhome to Washington State. There, we met a family involved in the real estate business. I became close with their eldest child and, over time, confided in him about my situation. His mother had previously worked with Child Protective Services (CPS) and was familiar with the proper procedures. Eventually, my father was arrested. My brother hitchhiked and went to live with my sister in Sunnyvale, California. My younger sister and I were

Heaven’s Threshold Page 25 briefly placed in foster care. I later became a ward of the state and was eventually emancipated. At a young age, fifteen, I entered into marriage. Looking back, Jesus expressed that He wished He could have taken us all out of that situation, but God’s timing is always best. Life is not promised to be easy. The marriage lasted approximately three years, though that chapter of my life is a separate story in itself. The relationship ultimately did not endure, largely due to the challenges of age and maturity. Differences in life experience, emotional development, and readiness for responsibility created a gap that was difficult to bridge. These factors affected communication, conflict resolution, and the ability to support one another in a healthy and meaningful way. As a result, the relationship lacked the foundation necessary to grow and thrive over time. My older siblings were not always the kindest, and my eldest sister often took on the role of watching over us. Out of seven siblings, I was the second youngest. My eldest sister would assign me the task of sweeping the floor and then inspect my work by walking barefoot across it to ensure it was clean. If she found any dirt, she would instruct me to sweep it again. As she was given supervisory responsibility in my parents’ absence due to their work commitments, she was at times strict and firm in her expectations. Over time, however, we developed a closer relationship and grew to have mutual respect for one another.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 26 My other sister was also not always kind. During my younger years, I often asked for her help with my hair. Despite my frequent requests, she was sometimes reluctant and would occasionally pull my hair while assisting me. It is important to recognize that they were also navigating their own struggles and coping with the circumstances surrounding our family. My older brothers could also be antagonistic toward me, and I was frequently blamed in various situations. My father tended to have favorites among the children, while my mother made an effort to treat everyone equally. In our household, there was a clear hierarchical structure, with moments of tension, bullying, and conflict. At the same time, we did support one another when facing challenges from children in the neighborhood. This dynamic was a common part of our upbringing. I accepted the Lord into my heart, but at some point, I lost my way, much like the prodigal son in the Bible. I became reliant on myself and others, often making poor decisions. I found myself torn between worldly desires and spiritual convictions, never fully committed to either path. The Parable of the Prodigal Son is found in the Book of Luke. It tells the story of a wayward son who demands his inheritance, leaves home, and ultimately squanders everything he has. When he becomes destitute and hungry, he chooses to return home. This story reflects God’s redemptive grace, mercy, and unconditional love.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 27 From a young age, I carried a strong sense of independence, navigating life’s trials with resilience and determination. Raising four children while maintaining continuous employment was no small task, yet it became the foundation of my daily life. My family and children served as a source of hope, giving me strength and motivation to persevere even during times when I felt I had little else to hold onto. I generally followed the conventional path laid out before me, with its ups and downs, twists and turns. However, the outcomes were not always favorable. Despite the challenges and occasional setbacks, I remained steadfast in my journey, sustained by the unwavering love and support of my family. I found myself engulfed in a deep sense of hopelessness, which prompted me to reevaluate the direction of my life. In those dark moments, I began to question the validity of my ex-husband’s words, wondering if there was any truth in his harsh criticisms. It had been so long since I felt truly connected to myself, and that disconnection had taken a significant toll on my self-esteem and sense of identity. This was my second marriage, and over time, I gradually felt as though I was losing touch with who I truly was. The person I once knew seemed to be slipping away, leaving behind what felt like a shadow of my former self. Although this realization was difficult, it led to deep self-

Heaven’s Threshold Page 28 reflection and a renewed determination to rediscover my identity while evaluating who I had become. As a single mother experiencing financial hardship, I found comfort in my understanding of the Bible, believing it emphasized God’s favor toward the poor as a pathway to heaven. This interpretation brought me a sense of peace. Later, I came to understand that Scripture teaches that wealth itself is not inherently wrong, as long as it is not placed above God. Dealing with confidence issues, mood swings, and an increasingly unstable home environment eventually led to displacement from my home and the emotional strain of a custody battle over my two younger children. These challenges, combined with my personal struggles, created a period of profound difficulty and uncertainty. Although it was one of the most challenging seasons of my life, it was also deeply remarkable. During this time, I experienced a sense of communication with God that felt as natural as conversing with another person. While I did not have a near-death experience, I felt as though God opened the heavens to me in a personal and intimate way. I experienced moments where I sensed His affirmation when my actions were in alignment with Him, as well as moments of correction when needed. For example, there were times I spent long hours engaged in spiritually meaningful reading, and I gained understanding in a way that felt divinely inspired. What stood out most was the awareness that this

Heaven’s Threshold Page 29 understanding was not only a gift, but one that aligned with and pleased God, filling me with gratitude and awe. Spiritual practices such as fasting and dedicated study are often seen as ways to deepen one’s relationship with God. These disciplines encourage self-control, reflection, and a greater focus on spiritual growth, helping individuals draw closer to God’s presence and guidance. During this period, I also had experiences that I interpreted as hearing the voice of God, as well as sensing the presence of Jesus, angels, and His hosts. I believed that angels were assigned to guide me, including what I understood to be a teaching angel, with roles that I intuitively recognized. In my experience, God revealed Himself to me. Whether others believed it or not, I was fully convinced of its reality. I did not perceive this as hallucination, nor have I ever experienced voices in my head or any diagnosis of mental illness of that nature. What I encountered was profound and, to me, beyond doubt. In one vision, I saw what appeared to be a heavenly gathering around a table, where the Lord was present along with others. Within this sacred setting, an angel acted as my advocate, speaking earnestly on my behalf. The Lord listened and, with swift resolution, gave His approval. The experience was brief yet vivid and deeply moving, leaving me with a lasting sense of reassurance that divine guidance was at work in my life.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 30 Unlike the prolonged and often complex processes I had experienced in human situations, this encounter felt smooth, immediate, and decisively resolved. It gave me the impression of how divine matters are handled with clarity and order, in contrast to the uncertainty often found in human affairs.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 31 CHAPTER 2: THE BREAKUP ue to persistent harassment from my ex- husband and his plan to push me out of the house, I felt a strong internal prompting, what I experienced as angelic guidance, to leave. It seemed to indicate that my ex-husband did not value or appreciate me, and that I would need to find a place of stability elsewhere. At that time, I was in a low emotional state and struggled with co-dependency. In that season, I believe God’s grace intervened. I had difficulty concentrating under those circumstances, and the situation became increasingly chaotic. With no place to go, I encountered another man who allowed me to stay at his home. During this period, I was heavily reliant on others for support. While I was away, my husband accused me of abandoning our children and served me divorce papers. This resulted in a parenting arrangement that granted me two days per week with them. Life can sometimes feel unfair, and this was one of those moments. Although I was displaced, I chose not to displace my children, allowing them to remain in the home with him. In this arrangement, he had D

Heaven’s Threshold Page 32 the advantage. My older children, over whom I had custody, stayed temporarily to help care for their younger siblings. His mother played a role in assisting him in acquiring assets, with the intention of limiting or excluding me from any entitlement. He pursued custody of the house and children, along with a financial settlement that would have left me without resources. However, we had purchased the land together, and I had invested my own assets into building the home in which we lived. Ultimately, despite the efforts made, the outcome required him to buy me out. Divorce presents challenges under any circumstances. He believed he was entitled to everything, and there was collateral damage on both sides, making reconciliation impossible. We came from very different backgrounds. He had a more sheltered upbringing and tended to exhibit judgmental attitudes. Initially, I was attracted to him, but over time my feelings changed due to his persistent disapproval and what I experienced as unfairness within the relationship. Our marriage also faced challenges stemming from past experiences involving non-consensual actions in a previous relationship. I had shared this experience with him, but it became a recurring point in our discussions, often being referenced in ways that added strain to the relationship. As a young mother, I struggled to find balance and experienced low self-esteem. I often felt lost, but over time I learned how to manage these

Heaven’s Threshold Page 33 challenges. My father had been restrictive when I was growing up, so going out often felt like a form of escape. I was married to my second husband for approximately ten years. During that time, we frequently included the children in activities such as camping, swimming, picnicking, and hiking with friends who also had children. We took several road trips together, and my ex-husband enjoyed hunting and fishing. His family shared these interests, which provided a sense of stability for my children. They were able to learn about fishing and hunting while also playing games we created during camping trips. One of the games we called “survival of the fittest,” which combined a race and scavenger hunt to keep the children engaged while the adults relaxed. Our camping trips were often far from perfect, but those are the ones I remember most vividly. Everything that could go wrong sometimes did. There were occasions when our tents were blown over by windstorms, and times when we realized we had left essential camping items behind. On occasion, we found ourselves in extremely remote locations or attempting to set up oversized tents, which often turned into moments of laughter rather than frustration. In those remote places, away from the busyness of daily life, even simple tasks like setting up a tent became memorable experiences. They reminded us not to take life too seriously, to embrace unpredictability, and to cherish the time spent with one another. Looking back, those moments,

Heaven’s Threshold Page 34 despite their challenges, became some of our most meaningful and joyful memories. During what I refer to as my period of revival, many insights were revealed to me. Whenever I reflected deeply on something, a sense of guidance or understanding seemed to follow. I began reading the Bible more consistently and felt myself reconnecting with God, realizing that He had always been present in my life. In the past, I often turned to God only during times of trouble. In those moments, He guided me away from greater hardship and gave me wisdom on when to remain silent. On one occasion, I felt guilt over a lie I had told to avoid a worse situation. I then had a vision of Jesus’ blood covering me, reminding me of His forgiveness. This experience reinforced my understanding that salvation comes through Jesus’ sacrifice, not through our own works. Once a person accepts Christ, forgiveness is extended for past, present, and future sins. As individuals grow in their faith, the desire to sin diminishes, and the focus shifts toward living a life that pleases God. God met me in a very personal way during a low point in my life. The message “come as you are” became very real to me. During this season, my children also witnessed moments of kindness and generosity. For example, on one occasion, I was shopping with my daughter and did not have enough money to purchase all the items. As I prepared to return some of them, a

Heaven’s Threshold Page 35 gentleman in line offered to pay for everything. I gratefully said, “God bless you,” and he replied, “He already has.” I also involved my children in church activities. On one occasion, they participated in a car wash to raise funds for the church. During the event, a car drove by and someone shouted, “I hate Christians!” The woman sponsoring the event, who was also involved in the youth group, used this moment as a teaching opportunity. She explained to the children that when faced with unkindness, we should not retaliate. Instead, we should respond with grace, whether by offering a kind gesture, such as a wave, or by choosing to ignore the negativity. This moment reflected the principle God teaches about turning the other cheek. Jesus has already overcome the world, and in time He will return. He serves as our example to follow. As it is written in Matthew 5:11: “Blessed are you when they insult you, persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely, for My sake.” I mentioned that I was speaking with God. My older daughters tried to understand, but I was going through unusual circumstances and was not in a strong emotional state. At the same time, their father went to prison. As the divorce proceedings began, my life changed significantly, and I felt increasingly isolated.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 36 Initially, I spent time with individuals who seemed desirable to be around. However, their behavior eventually revealed characteristics more akin to adversaries than friends. As a result, I found it necessary to sever ties with them. Nothing was held back in that season. For example, my friends once threw a party while I was on leave from work. They discussed it openly in front of me but did not invite me, which left me feeling excluded. In that moment, I experienced a prompting that I perceived as an angel saying, “Get a life.” Looking back, I can now smile at that moment, as my life soon took a completely new direction. During this time, I only trusted one friend. The workplace environment also became overwhelming, as my husband worked there as well. There was a significant amount of gossip, and some individuals attempted to pry into our personal matters. Despite this, my circle of friends shared similar struggles. They were young adults navigating their own challenges, and some were also going through divorces. God revealed to me that many of the people around me at that time struggled to believe in His love. They felt unworthy and doubted that God could truly love them. In contrast, I came to understand that most people are unable to fully comprehend the depth of God’s love. There were moments when I also

Heaven’s Threshold Page 37 struggled with feelings of being unlovable, but through it all, my children remained my greatest priority and the center of my world. My second-oldest daughter moved in with me. My children struggled with the divorce, and at times I felt as though I had lost them. Although they were not removed from my care, the infrequency of our time together significantly altered the dynamics of our relationship. I rarely cried, but one day I wept so deeply that my tears felt as though they were reaching up to the heavens. My eyes swelled shut, and I had never experienced such an intense release of emotion before. During this period, my daughter and I often visited different churches, which we referred to at the time as “church hopping.” On one occasion, I visited a church where the pastor initially intended to give me a children’s Bible. Instead, he gave me a regular King James Version (KJV) Bible with footnotes. It felt as though God was guiding him to make that choice. I still have that Bible today, and it is highlighted in many places. On another occasion, the pastor and his wife gave me a ride to church. Prior to that service, I felt that God had informed me in advance about the sermon the pastor would deliver that day. It seemed as though God wanted to affirm that He was communicating specific messages to me through these experiences.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 38 There have been additional instances since then where topics I had been reflecting on or discussing before attending church were later addressed in the sermon. These moments have led me to believe that God may be guiding my attention toward certain areas of focus and understanding. My children and I would share anecdotes about our camping adventures and the humorous incidents that occurred, using these memories to pass the time together. Due to limited financial resources, I took them to the library and arranged camping trips within my means during this period. Scripture reminds us that God sent His Son into the world not to judge it, but to save it through Him. I recognize that I am not perfect, and no one is. No one can enter heaven without believing in Jesus Christ and what He accomplished on the cross. There were times when I carried burdens that I did not need to carry. I came to understand that many of these struggles were attacks on the mind. As it is written in 1 John 4:4: “Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.” I also experienced moments of suicidal ideation at times. I longed for the weight of depression to subside. Although I never intended to act on those thoughts due to my religious beliefs, I gained a deeper understanding

Heaven’s Threshold Page 39 of how others can reach that point. However, I firmly believe that suicide is not the answer. Pain is real, overwhelming, and at times relentless, but it is not permanent. There are moments, unseen and yet to come, that hold beauty, love, and healing. No matter how heavy the darkness may feel, there is light waiting beyond it. Hope exists, even when it feels out of reach. I am grateful now to have a better understanding, and I feel that I have overcome many infirmities. This period was extremely difficult for me. I struggled significantly, made many mistakes, and at times engaged in self- destructive behavior. God provides ways where it feels like there is no way. He instructed me to pursue education, and He opened doors and made financial provisions for me to return to school and earn a degree. He also guided me to seek other employment and to work from home. At the time, I did not know how any of this would come together. Today, I am employed in a different role and work remotely for the majority of the time. Even during difficult seasons, I was able to maintain my job. Although it was often challenging to go to work, I made an effort to persevere and make the best of the situation for myself and my children.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 40 There were moments when I felt led to take a necessary break from work. I came to understand that rest is important. In some instances, I struggled with the idea of taking time off without giving a specific reason. Recently, when I felt tired and wanted a day to rest, I chose not to misrepresent my situation by claiming an appointment I did not have. In that moment, I experienced a prompting that I perceived as the Holy Spirit, bringing a sense of ease and affirmation. It reminded me that there are ways to step away without compromise, and that provision can be made even in such decisions. I also came to understand that, in a broader sense, rest is something we all need. At one point, I felt that I could not continue without my children. However, my mother’s then-husband encouraged me to persevere, reminding me that I owed it to myself to keep going. My children remained my priority, even in the absence of consistent support or respect from my ex-husband. This encouragement helped me realize that I needed to continue not only for my children, but also for myself. No matter how much circumstances shifted, one truth remained constant and unshakable: I would always be their mother. My children were challenging at times. As they have grown older, I am immensely proud of their accomplishments. My eldest daughter also faced significant challenges; she carried some of my emotional burdens and became very depressed. At the time, I was in a difficult and inconvenient

Heaven’s Threshold Page 41 situation and felt responsible for many of the things that were going wrong. However, I later came to understand that the circumstances were not solely my fault. During that period, courts were increasingly awarding custody to fathers, possibly in an effort to encourage greater parental responsibility, even though mothers often fought diligently for custody. I encountered many individuals going through divorce, and in some cases, women protested and the media became involved. I also met women who were required to leave their homes while fathers were allowed to return based on the recommendation of a Guardian ad litem (GAL). It was, in many ways, an unusual and complex situation. Although I provided most of the care for my children, the process was extremely difficult. I lost confidence in my first lawyer but eventually found another who helped me retain some of my assets. Even so, I had to start over with limited resources, and rebuilding was not easy. During this time, I struggled with prayer. At times, it felt as though the words would not come. I sensed a prompting in which God asked me why I was not praying. Although I desired to pray, I often felt stuck. I did not always know how to pray in a formal sense; I usually spoke simply and honestly, saying whatever was on my mind without elaborate structure. Scripture reminds us:

Heaven’s Threshold Page 42 “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.” (Romans 8:26) Many scriptures are familiar to me, although I do not always recall their exact chapter and verse, except for well-known passages such as the Lord’s Prayer and John 3:16. During this time, I also felt prompted to read my Bible and reflect on scripture more consistently. I have faced my own personal struggles, as no one is exempt from them, but words of encouragement from God have helped me through many of those difficulties. I have found that God has helped me in ways that extend beyond therapy, although therapy can also be beneficial. At one point, Jesus also directed me to seek help, and I received guidance that contributed to my overall well-being and care. It felt as though I was being uplifted and given personal direction through God, Jesus, and His hosts and angels, beings described in Scripture as the sons of God.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 43 CHAPTER 3: PAGES OF REFLECTION: A JOURNEY THROUGH INK began a journal in which I wrote biblical words, their meanings, and my personal reflections. Over time, my journal became more than just a collection of thoughts, it felt alive. God entered the picture in a deeply personal way. I did not see Him physically, but I heard Him clearly, as though speaking with another person, and I felt His strong presence. During this journey, I also received visions. Over a period of approximately three years, I experienced what felt like a continuous sense of God’s guidance in my life. I felt led to search for words in the Bible’s index, study their meanings, and explore the corresponding scriptures. The first word I was led to study was “fear.” I read extensively on the subject throughout the Bible. The word “fear” appears numerous times across various translations, approximately 365 times in some references, while other sources suggest it appears over 500 times in the King James Version (KJV). The exact count varies depending on the translation and the specific terms used to express the concept of fear. I

Heaven’s Threshold Page 44 Fear can steal our joy and peace if we allow it to take root. This raises important questions: How do we handle fears such as job loss, the loss of loved ones, concerns about our children’s future, or illness? Scripture provides comfort, reminding us of God’s love, His promises of protection, and the peace He offers. God encouraged me to meditate on His Word. I relied on these scriptures to help manage stress, drawing strength and practical guidance from biblical teachings. Through this process, I found coping mechanisms rooted in faith, which helped me navigate challenges with greater stability and hope. I also had a vision of myself as another person who died in a car accident, though at the time I did not fully understand its meaning. In hindsight, the vision seemed to relate to a traumatic situation, possibly illustrating how certain experiences can be deeply difficult and disorienting. On one occasion, I was asked by God what I desired as a gift He was offering me. My response was uncommon, I requested a Bible study. He granted my request, and an angel of teaching appeared to guide me. As I engaged in reading the Bible and journaling, it felt as though the Scriptures came to life in a metaphorical sense. I experienced them not only intellectually but also internally, as though I were walking through the narratives, sometimes in my mind and at other times in a way that felt like a journey, similar to the experiences of certain biblical figures.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 45 At times, it was challenging to maintain focus while balancing awareness of both the physical world and what I perceived as spiritual experiences. Because of this, I did not always fully understand what was happening or what would come next. The first books I read included Romans, followed by Proverbs, Hosea, Genesis, Job, and others, an experience I felt was guided by God. I did not keep these experiences entirely private. I shared them with a small circle of friends and family. One person found them unusual but believed me, while others engaged in conversations suggesting that life may be about learning and growth. Initially, it seemed to me that the purpose was to understand one’s identity, but over time it became clearer that it involves forming a meaningful relationship with God. During this period, I also experienced what felt like significant spiritual distress. I sensed what I perceived as a heavy burden of opposition, and at one point, I felt as though I was being challenged from multiple directions. In that moment, I feared I might be losing my sense of stability and even asked God if I was losing my mind. I was reassured in response that I was not. Although I did not physically die, I experienced visions in which I communicated with God and Jesus. I was also encouraged to acknowledge and honor His hosts. At times, I felt confusion regarding certain religious practices, such as the veneration of Mary within some Christian traditions. I

Heaven’s Threshold Page 46 came to understand that honoring individuals for their roles does not mean placing them above God or Jesus. In my understanding, worship belongs to God and Jesus, while honor may be given appropriately to others without elevating them to divine status. I referred to this period as my “revival time.” During this season, I experienced more anger than I had anticipated, and it became clear that many suppressed emotions were being brought to the surface. This process was at times painful and met with emotional resistance, as I had held these feelings inside for a long time. I also faced what I perceived as spiritual warfare, feeling a tension between my physical self and my spiritual awareness. My childhood felt as though it had been taken from me, and later I experienced a similar sense regarding my children, though in a different way. Although I still had rights, the experience was not the same. At times, life felt unfair, as though I had been dealt a difficult hand. There are moments in life that are beyond our control, and at other times, we may find ourselves diverging from the path we believed we were meant to follow. However, I have come to understand the principle that it is not solely about the hand we are dealt, but how we respond to it. Life’s challenges are inevitable, but our responses shape our journey. True growth is reflected in resilience, determination, and the courage to adapt.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 47 Our unique stories and experiences help define who we are. When we embrace them and use them as motivation, they can lead to meaningful transformation. One thing I am especially grateful for is my children. I love them deeply, and they love me in return. They have grown into remarkable adults and parents, even though they were required to mature much earlier than most due to the circumstances we faced. During this time, I worked through the difficulties in my life while facing spiritual struggles that at times affected me physically and contributed to significant anxiety. There were moments of deep humiliation and a sense of losing control over my circumstances. I reached a point where I believed I had hit rock bottom and that my situation could not worsen further. In those moments, I would express my feelings to God, saying, “I am so depressed.” I sensed a response encouraging me to stop drinking. Alcohol, being a depressant, had been part of my life more frequently in the past. Over time, I reduced my consumption significantly, and today I rarely drink at all, which has contributed positively to my overall well-being. I also recalled advice from a friend who suggested that when feeling down, it is helpful to maintain a routine and stay occupied. I found that this approach proved beneficial on several occasions. I believe that God has the power to restore what is broken, whether it is a wounded heart, a physical condition, a strained relationship, or a lost dream. Through His infinite love, grace, and power, healing and restoration

Heaven’s Threshold Page 48 are possible. During this period, I felt broken, as though I was in a kind of spiritual bootcamp with God. Some of my questions at the time were very simple and childlike, as I sought guidance on what was permissible and what was not. For example, I asked about smoking. I was told that smoking would not prevent salvation. I then asked whether quitting would be beneficial, and I was told that it would indeed be advantageous. Despite this understanding, I have not yet fully overcome this habit. Throughout that season, I experienced what I perceived as great patience from God. During the course of the divorce proceedings, this period continued to shape my growth, understanding, and reliance on faith. I tried to avoid speaking negatively about my ex-husband in front of our children, but unfortunately, he did not extend the same courtesy. On one occasion, my son asked me who typically initiated most of the conflicts, mentioning that his father had claimed it was me. Later, while dropping my son off, my ex-husband started an argument with me, and my son witnessed it firsthand.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 49 CHAPTER 4: A NEW BEGINNING ne day, God wanted to speak to me. To capture my attention, He shut off the TV, plunging the room into sudden silence. I sat there, still, fully aware that this was no accident. Then, the message came: Satan will try to stop you from going to church tomorrow. You must go. The weight of those words settled deep in my soul, and I knew I had to obey. The next morning, obstacles appeared immediately. A flat tire. My boyfriend’s discouraging words. One roadblock after another, each seemingly designed to make me turn back. But I refused to be deterred. With my daughter beside me, I pressed forward, determined to make it to church. As we approached, something stirred deep within me, a sensation both familiar and profound, reminiscent of the quiet flutter of life within, like the first gentle movements of a pregnancy. It wasn’t just physical; it was symbolic. I paused, reflecting on what this sensation might mean. Slowly, the realization came to me, clear and undeniable, revealing a deeper truth within my spirit. O

Heaven’s Threshold Page 50 A New Beginning There was another instance when I was speaking with God while I was drinking a beer. At that moment, He seemed to be seeking my attention. I asked whether it was acceptable to continue drinking during the conversation, and the response I perceived was, “Give me a break.” Reflecting on this, it felt like a moment of patience being extended toward me, almost like a child asking a parent for permission. In that experience, I sensed that I was permitted to have one drink, which led me to reduce my alcohol consumption. Occasionally, that one drink was quite significant. I cannot recall whether this occurred during that specific period or at another time, but in hindsight, I recognize that my approach was not always wise. Still, I believe God showed me tremendous patience throughout that season. I often wrote in my journals, even when my thoughts were not fully organized or clear. Over time, my writing began to take on a more structured and positive outlook, as I worked toward letting go of negativity. A guiding principle that emerged for me was: “Focus on the positive and discard the negative.” It was revealed to me that I was facing challenges from multiple directions, spiritually, in my work, and even within my family dynamics. At times, I felt completely overwhelmed. I understood this as a period where

Heaven’s Threshold Page 51 my mind was under significant pressure, and I was encouraged to recognize when negative influences were taking hold. In my experience, it felt as though my mind had become a place where intrusive thoughts could easily take root when not guarded. I began to learn the importance of discerning between divine guidance and negative influences, and of recognizing the difference between what I perceived as God’s voice and other influences. I came to understand that any true guidance aligned with God would be consistent with Scripture. At times, this can be confusing, as negative influences may attempt to mimic or distort what is true. Scripture reminds us of the nature of spiritual opposition: “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy, the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. (1 Peter 5:8) Through this process, I was learning to be more attentive, grounded, and discerning in both my thoughts and my spiritual understanding.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 52 CHAPTER 5: THE SPIRITUAL GIFTS OF SCRIPTURE found that the Bible was becoming increasingly vivid and impactful for me. I felt as though I was living through the experiences of the characters depicted within its pages. I began reading extensively on fear and how to overcome it. We all have fears, both known and unknown, that can hold us back. According to 2 Timothy 1:7: “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind.” This indicates that we should not be afraid, as God is in control. He serves as our refuge and strength. Furthermore, Scripture encourages us to call upon His name and resist the influence of negative forces. The spiritual realm involves an unseen battle, and the devil seeks to lead as many as possible astray within the limited time he has. Revelation 12:12 states: I

Heaven’s Threshold Page 53 “Therefore rejoice, ye heavens, and ye that dwell in them. Woe to the inhabitants of the earth and of the sea, for the devil has come down unto you, having great wrath, because he knows that he has but a short time.” Scripture is considered by many as a guide for navigating life’s challenges. It contains teachings on overcoming adversity, written by apostles who were believed to be inspired by divine influence. Psalm 111:10 states: “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” And Philippians 4:7 reminds us: “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” If you are feeling distant from God, know that He is not absent from your life. Reflecting on my own experiences, I recognize how much God has guided my path. Even when I have occasionally deviated, His influence remained present, though it sometimes took longer for me to recognize it. Matthew 5:16 states: “In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”

Heaven’s Threshold Page 54 CHAPTER 6: THE HELPER WHO WALKS WITH US ccording to David Jeremiah in his book Walking with Jesus, page 39 states: “And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever” (John 14:16). Whom do you need if you are involved in a court trial? An advocate. If you are experiencing personal or relational troubles? A counselor. If you are trying to complete a complicated task? A helper. If you are going through a period of sorrow? A comforter. Someone to plead your case with others? An intercessor. If you are lost? A guide. When Jesus was preparing to leave the earth and return to the Father in heaven, He knew His disciples would face all of these situations and more. So, He promised to send someone to walk alongside them and help them, the Paraclete, or the Holy Spirit. The word paraclete in Greek means “one called alongside.” Translators of English Bible versions have used a variety of words to describe paraclete: helper, counselor, advocate, comforter, intercessor, and others. This variety reflects the many ways Jesus intended for the Holy Spirit to A

Heaven’s Threshold Page 55 minister to His followers in His absence. In fact, the Holy Spirit came to be for us what Jesus was for His disciples when He was with them in person. Can you identify with any of the situations described above? If so, receive the help Jesus provides by depending on the Holy Spirit to walk alongside you. God is not dead. Rather, as a sacrifice, He gave His only begotten Son, Jesus. Jesus lives within us through the Holy Spirit. This means that when we believe, God establishes a relationship with us that is so close that we become one with Him. Christ in us strengthens and fights for us. Sin separates us from God, but He gives us the strength to overcome through the Holy Spirit. It is not always easy, but Jesus provides a way when there seems to be none. He is the way, the truth, and the life, guiding us forward in truth and light. Jesus enables us to serve one another in love. God promises blessings to those who help others in His name. Our relationship with God and Jesus Christ deepens as we follow the guidance of the Holy Spirit and rely on His power. Through faith, sin loses its dominion over us when we learn to resist and defeat the devil's schemes. As Ephesians 6:12 declares (ESV): “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the

Heaven’s Threshold Page 56 authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” When we truly believe and actively practice resisting spiritual attacks, the devil will flee from us (James 4:7). Maintaining genuine faith can be challenging, yet it offers profound reassurance in dangerous times: a higher power is sovereign, guiding and empowering us to overcome every adversity. It is essential to read the Bible directly to grasp its true meaning. Too often, people make assumptions about Scripture that aren't actually supported by the text itself. Many popular phrases and ideas do not align with what the Bible actually says. For example, the Bible never identifies the forbidden fruit from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil as an apple; it simply refers to it as “fruit.” The notion of an apple likely arose from later cultural traditions and linguistic influences, but Scripture leaves the specific type unnamed. In Genesis, the tree is described as one that bears fruit. Genesis 2:16- 17 (ESV) states: “And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, “You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.” Genesis 3:2-3 (ESV) records Eve's response to the serpent: “And the woman said to the serpent, ‘We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden,

Heaven’s Threshold Page 57 but God said, “You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.” These verses clearly identify the tree as bearing forbidden fruit. Notably, God’s original command prohibited only eating from it, He never mentioned touching it. Satan, recognizing this, exploited the addition in Eve’s words to deceive her. He appeared as a serpent, described in Genesis 3:1 (ESV) as craftier than any other beast of the field that the LORD God had made.” The serpent's imagery powerfully conveys cunning and deceit, perfectly suiting the role of the tempter. Additional common sayings people often attribute to the Bible, but aren't actually found there, include: "God helps those who help themselves." This popular phrase, frequently quoted as biblical wisdom, does not appear anywhere in Scripture. It originated from ancient sources like Aesop's fables and was popularized by Benjamin Franklin in Poor Richard's Almanack. The Bible actually emphasizes God's help for the helpless and dependent on Him (e.g., Isaiah 25:4; Romans 5:6). "God will never give you more than you can bear." This comforting idea is a common misapplication of 1 Corinthians 10:13 (ESV): “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the

Heaven’s Threshold Page 58 temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” The verse speaks specifically about temptation (not general trials or burdens), promising God's faithfulness in providing escape from sin. Life can indeed bring overwhelming hardships, but God offers strength, grace, and support through them (e.g., 2 Corinthians 12:9). Another frequently misquoted line is "Money is the root of all evil." The actual verse is 1 Timothy 6:10 (ESV): “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.” It's not money itself, but the love of it that leads to trouble. These phrases often reflect cultural values, personal experiences, or well-intentioned encouragement, but they aren't direct quotes from God's Word. Many ideas people assume come from the Bible simply aren't in Scripture. In our modern era, most rely on pastors, ministers, or online teachings to interpret the Bible for them. While helpful teachers are a blessing, it's crucial to read the Bible for yourself, in its entirety, to understand its true content, original audience, historical context, and how it applies today. For instance, when churches teach on tithing, they frequently cite Old Testament passages like Malachi 3:8–10. Under the Mosaic Law, Israelites were required to give a tenth (tithe) of produce, livestock, and

Heaven’s Threshold Page 59 sometimes other assets to support the Levites, temple, and poor. However, the New Testament does not command Christians to give exactly 10%. We are no longer under the Old Covenant law but under grace (Romans 6:14; Galatians 3:23–25). The New Testament emphasizes generous, cheerful, and willing giving from the heart, not out of compulsion or obligation. Key principles include: 2 Corinthians 9:6–7 (ESV): “The point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” Luke 6:38 (ESV): “Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.” Giving is good and brings blessing, but it should flow from faith, trust in God, and guidance by the Holy Spirit. It's not always about money, it can include time, resources, talents, or acts of service. There's no curse for not giving exactly 10%; instead, focus on a willing heart. Personally, I am a giver and have supported various people and causes in unique ways. At times, Jesus impressed on me that I didn't have to give in a specific way, yet it felt like an invitation to give freely, with a sense

Heaven’s Threshold Page 60 of His smiling approval. Later, God also guided me toward frugality, as overspending beyond my means often led to greater costs and stress. Faith plays a key role: trusting God with what we have, giving what we can when the opportunity arises, without guilt. If you're unsure about tithing or giving, study the Scriptures yourself, consider the full context and original audience, rather than relying solely on what churches or others say. A powerful illustration is the parable of the rich man and Lazarus in Luke 16:19–31 (ESV). A wealthy man lived in luxury while ignoring poor Lazarus, covered in sores and begging at his gate. After death, Lazarus was comforted in Abraham's side, while the rich man suffered in torment. The story highlights the consequences of failing to show compassion and generosity when one has the means, urging us to give from the heart, caring for others as an expression of love for God. The biblical parable of the rich man and Lazarus is narrated by Jesus in the Book of Luke, chapter 16 (verses 19–31). It tells the story of a rich man who habitually dressed in purple and fine linen, and a poor man named Lazarus who was laid at his gate, covered with sores. When both men die, the rich man goes to Hades and pleads with Abraham to send Lazarus from his side in heaven to warn the rich man’s family so they will not share his fate.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 61 1 Corinthians 16:2 says, “On the first day of every week, each one of you should set aside a sum of money in keeping with your income, saving it up, so that when I come no collections will have to be made.” The instruction to give is qualified by the phrase “as he may prosper.” Paul encourages proportional giving, meaning that each person should give according to their income rather than a fixed amount. Notably, Paul does not instruct believers to give ten percent, commonly referred to as a tithe. In fact, the New Testament does not command Christians to tithe in the same way the Old Testament required it (Leviticus 27:30; Numbers 18:26). Under Old Testament law, the Israelites were obligated to tithe, in addition to other required contributions for the temple and the priesthood. Instead, Paul instructs believers to give in proportion to how they have prospered, suggesting giving from any surplus beyond their needs. Historians note that many in Corinth, particularly among the poorer classes, were likely living from week to week and had limited surplus income. His declaration underscores that Jesus’ mission was not to negate the Law but to bring it to its intended fulfillment and purpose. Jesus’ fulfillment of the Law established a new covenant. Tithing is one of those topics that may seem straightforward but becomes more complex the deeper one examines it. In the Old Testament, tithing was a clear commandment, a tenth of one’s produce or earnings given

Heaven’s Threshold Page 62 to support the Levites and the temple. It served as a way to honor God and sustain the religious community. Fast forward to the New Testament, and the emphasis becomes more nuanced. Jesus and the apostles taught about giving, but the focus shifts from strict percentages to the heart behind the offering. While many passages address giving, some churches continue to emphasize Old Testament tithing practices rather than New Testament principles. As a result, the expectation of giving ten percent regardless of individual circumstances can sometimes feel coercive and may discourage some people. While giving is encouraged by Jesus and is essential for the ministry of the church, there are many New Testament passages that address giving beyond Malachi. Throughout history, many people have endured tragic events, including the Holocaust. According to Christian theology, Jesus expressed a sense of separation from the Father while on the cross, asking God, “Why have You forsaken Me?” Life can be challenging at times, and not everyone will discover their intended purpose. The phrase “This, too, shall pass” is often used to encourage those facing difficulties. While it is not a direct biblical quote, I often remind myself of it. However, the Bible does speak about the temporary nature of suffering. For example, 2 Corinthians 4:17 says, “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” This reminds us that no matter how difficult life becomes, our struggles are not

Heaven’s Threshold Page 63 the end of our story. Although the phrase itself is not biblical, it can still serve to offer hope and encouragement. The saying “God helps those who help themselves” is often attributed to Algernon Sidney, an English political theorist, and was later quoted by Benjamin Franklin in the eighteenth century. The idea itself has even earlier roots and appears in ancient Greek literature and Aesop’s fables. I received a vision to confront my challenges instead of avoiding them. I saw a face that appeared like the face of God. I cannot fully recall what I was thinking at the time, but the impression was clear: to face what lies ahead. Addressing necessary or important issues can be challenging, especially when they are uncomfortable. It is helpful to approach such situations with patience and perseverance, using wisdom and discernment to navigate different circumstances effectively. The Holy Spirit within us works on our behalf, even when we are not fully aware, yet this does not remove our responsibility to take action and remain in prayer whenever possible. As Scripture reminds us, we are to stay alert and continually pray for all the Lord’s people. Speaking of the Lord’s people, much of today’s culture does not recognize the Bible as a moral authority, particularly on the subject of homosexuality. Do I dare address this topic? I have a niece who is gay, and I have had friends whom I care for deeply who are also gay. Recently, I encountered an old colleague who had previously been my supervisor; she

Heaven’s Threshold Page 64 was openly gay, though she had once professed faith but continued in same- sex relationships. Many people today do not view the Bible as a moral authority on this issue. It should not be surprising that atheists and skeptics hold this position. For example, the late Christopher Hitchens once remarked, “What do I care what some Bronze Age text says about homosexuality?” As an apologist, William Lane Craig has observed that some people argue the easiest way to defend the legitimacy of a homosexual lifestyle is to adopt an atheistic worldview. There are, however, practicing homosexuals and activists who are not atheists and who argue that the Bible supports or permits homosexual behavior. Their central claim is that Scripture has been misunderstood or misinterpreted on this subject. If they are correct, that God’s Word does not condemn homosexual behavior, then much of the tension and debate within churches and society would be resolved. But the important question remains: are they correct? There are several passages in Scripture that address homosexuality. Do we hate people who are homosexual? Absolutely not. They deserve our love, support, and prayer. God desires that no one perish, and we all come from an imperfect world. I recently spoke with my former colleague and friend, who shared that she had left that lifestyle and experienced a change in her desires through God’s work in her life. According to the Bible, the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 65 As written, “neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind” will inherit it. This passage does not address only one group but speaks broadly to unrighteous behavior. My friend has since devoted her life to Christ. Transformation is possible. There is nothing too difficult for God, who heals broken hearts and calls sinners to righteousness. Many testimonies today come from individuals who have left homosexual lifestyles and turned to God. What does the Bible say about homosexuality? Romans 1:26–27 addresses it: “For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: and likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompense of their error which was meet.” A study led by researchers at Vanderbilt University Medical Center and Vanderbilt University found that 83% of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and queer (LGBQ) individuals reported experiencing adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), such as sexual and emotional abuse, along with poorer mental health outcomes in adulthood compared to their heterosexual peers. This subject is important. God desires that everyone come to repentance and enter into a personal relationship with Him. We are invited to come as we are and allow God to bring transformation. Loving others is one of God’s commandments, and truth should neither be dismissed nor

Heaven’s Threshold Page 66 concealed. Ultimately, where each person stands with God matters. Everyone has a story, what is yours? God is no respecter of persons. We all fall short of His glory. I am not one to judge; God alone establishes truth and standards. He has given us free will. The question remains: do we desire a life with God? As Jesus sacrificed His life, we are called to surrender ours. In doing so, we discover true purpose. This is the essence of the Christian faith. John 3:3 says, “Jesus replied, ‘Truly, truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again.’” We all need a personal Savior. “Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you; but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ’s sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy” (1 Peter 4:12–13). According to the Voice of the Martyrs, a group of Christians in the state of Oaxaca, Mexico, planned an open baptism celebration, expecting members of their community to oppose the gathering. However, praise the Lord, many new believers were baptized, and on that day there was no sign of community opposition. Are you afraid of the reaction you may receive when you mention Christ or express a biblical worldview? Keep your eyes on Christ, not on critics. When we focus on eternity, we recognize that temporary suffering can reveal God’s glory. There is joy in serving the Lord.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 67 Let us reflect on the cross of Christ. Jesus lived with little and died in humility, yet He was laid in a rich man’s tomb, rose in glory, and ascended to reign and guide His people as the Gospel goes forth to the ends of the earth. This is no time to remain silent. It is a time to speak, to share, and to shine. A testimony written by Carmelo Brenes recounts that she was involved in an accident, died, and found herself in hell. She pleaded for mercy several times. “Suddenly there was a silence, and I heard a loud voice say, ‘Stop!’ The voice shook all of Hell, and the being that was taking me by the hand released me. ‘I am not the God of adulterers, I am not the God of fornicators, I am not the God of liars. Why do you call Me Lord, if I am not a God of those who boast?’ (Luke 6:46). I felt as though I was going to be destroyed, but as the moments passed, God’s voice became softer: ‘Come, and I will show you the things taking place in this place, which are waiting for all who have not been willing to follow My way and have walked after the imaginations of their own hearts.” Your soul is more important than anything else. It is central to your life and identity. To ensure your soul is prepared for eternity with God, you can surrender your life to Christ Jesus by acknowledging your sin and asking for forgiveness. If you are facing challenges related to sin in your life, seeking God’s help is essential. Do not wait until it is too late.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 68 Many religions exist, but having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ is what matters most and is significant for salvation. The Bible teaches that He is the only way to salvation.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 69 CHAPTER 7: BATTLES BEYOND THE FLESH od instructs us to forgive others, even when we have been deeply hurt. At the time, forgiveness was not in me. In my mind, I was killing my father over and over again. I would never actually harm anyone, I could never bring myself to do that, but I could not seem to stop these violent thoughts. They were only thoughts, yet they tormented me. Today, I am thankful to be completely free from that darkness. Another experience surfaced during that season. Whenever God drew near, it felt as though my flesh was at war with my spirit. The discomfort was intense. Intrusive thoughts flooded my mind without warning, I was cursing, replaying scenes of killing my father, even having blasphemous thoughts. It terrified me and left me feeling unworthy and ashamed. These thoughts did not feel like my true desires; they seemed foreign, as if they were being forced upon me. Confused and shaken, I asked Jesus, “Where is this coming from?” He gently revealed that the root lay in the abuse I had endured as a child. His presence is holy, and, as Scripture declares, there is no good thing in our flesh G

Heaven’s Threshold Page 70 (see Romans 7:18). Rather than subside, the thoughts intensified when I tried to fight them. It was as if Jesus was allowing them to rise to the surface so they could finally be dealt with. I had previously read that the healthiest response to intrusive thoughts is to refuse to engage with them, to pay them no attention, and that, over time, they lose their power and fade. No one wants to wrestle with unwanted, disturbing images and impulses. What are intrusive thoughts? They are unwelcome images, ideas, or impulses that intrude suddenly, causing distress, disruption, or annoyance. Sometimes they are triggered by something in the environment; other times they appear without any obvious reason. Yet Jesus knows the deeper roots. Negative experiences, trauma, and unresolved pain can remain buried in the heart, sometimes so deep we are unaware they are still there, until His light exposes them. Kyle Winkler, in his book Shut Up, Devil, writes: “While thoughts can’t take away your salvation, they can certainly keep you from enjoying its benefits. And for the Christian, that’s exactly what the enemy is after.” Scripture affirms this inner battle. In 2 Corinthians 10:5, Paul urges us to take “every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ.” The image is one of deliberate, active resistance, refusing to let rogue thoughts run free and instead bringing them under the authority of Jesus. Unchecked thoughts

Heaven’s Threshold Page 71 can lead us toward sin; bringing them into captivity keeps us aligned with God’s truth. During that season, the Lord gave me a simple, practical instruction for dealing with these unwanted thoughts: Tell the enemy, “Hit the road, Jack.” God has come to set the captives free. The promise in Isaiah 61:1 (NIV) declares it beautifully: “The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me, because the LORD has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound.” That liberty is real. The tormenting thoughts that once felt uncontrollable no longer have power over me. Jesus exposed the root, brought healing to the wounds, and taught me how to stand firm. The battle was never merely in the mind, it was spiritual, and the victory belongs to Him. Although Satan and his demons cannot read our minds, they have been observing and tempting humanity for thousands of years. They have studied human behavior, patterns, weaknesses, and triggers in exquisite detail. Even without direct access to our thoughts, they can make highly

Heaven’s Threshold Page 72 educated guesses about what is stirring in our hearts and minds, and then tailor their temptations accordingly. That is precisely why Scripture commands us: “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you” (James 4:7). The Bible makes it clear that God’s standards are not the world’s standards, and genuine followers of Christ understand this distinction deeply. Jesus Himself said, “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first… If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world” (John 15:18–19). God calls us to a higher standard: “Be holy, because I am holy” (Leviticus 11:44; 1 Peter 1:16). Trying to blend in with the world’s values, attitudes, and behaviors is not neutrality, it is disobedience to the clear command: “Come out from them and be separate, says the Lord” (2 Corinthians 6:17). So, what do we do? We refuse to leave any open door for the enemy to influence our thoughts. Intrusive thoughts do not define who we are. Past traumas, abuse, or painful experiences do not define who we are. They may have left deep impressions on the mind and body, trauma is real, and its effects are unique to each person, but they are not our identity.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 73 When I first sensed God’s holy presence drawing near, my flesh warred against my spirit. I hadn’t yet learned how to surrender my will or recognize the resistance for what it was. Looking back, I believe the healing process could have moved more quickly, but God, in His wisdom, allowed it to unfold gradually. He knows exactly what we can bear and when we are ready for the next layer of freedom. Today, I remain committed to the lifelong journey of growing in faith, working diligently, and making continuous progress. My goal is simple yet profound: to become the best version of myself that God created me to be. That is all any of us can be asked to do. Part of that journey means coming to terms with everything that has happened in my life, accepting it, grieving it where needed, and allowing God to redeem it. Only now do I feel the pieces of my story beginning to fit together. Peace is growing in places that once held only turmoil. The journey is far from perfect. I have not yet arrived at every goal I have. But I am moving forward, and that forward motion matters. God knows me intimately. He knew me before I was even formed in the womb: “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you” (Jeremiah 1:5). He continues to work in my life, bringing real breakthroughs. Along the way, He has gently warned me: “Watch what you pray for.” Sometimes the answers we receive are not what we expect, they may be painful or humbling,

Heaven’s Threshold Page 74 but in the end, they either glorify God, help us overcome, or (often) accomplish both. I frequently return to Psalm 139:23–24: “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.” I am no biblical scholar. I simply cling to God’s Word as it has been given to us in Scripture. It is trustworthy. It is alive. And it is leading me, step by step, into greater freedom, peace, and purpose. The battle may be fierce, but the victory has already been won. I choose to keep submitting to God, resisting the enemy, and trusting the One who knew me before time began. Ephesians 6:10–18 stands as one of the clearest passages in Scripture on spiritual warfare: “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore, put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.”

Heaven’s Threshold Page 75 Recently, after a church service, I went forward for prayer. The woman praying over me spoke words that felt directly from the Lord: Jesus had placed Ephesians 6 on her heart and told her to encourage me to meditate on it. She could sense the spiritual battle I was facing. Since that moment, intentionally dwelling on this passage has brought real strength and clarity. It reminds me that the battle is real, but the victory is already secured in Christ. God fights for His people. Psalm 91:5 offers comfort to anyone gripped by fear: “You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day.” It is a promise of protection that covers both the seen and unseen dangers. Isaiah 54:17 declares an unbreakable defense against every attack: “No weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and this is their vindication from me,” declares the Lord. And when weariness sets in, Isaiah 40:31 renews hope: “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Jesus Himself emphasized the importance of vigilance in prayer. In the Garden of Gethsemane, on the night before His crucifixion, He found His disciples sleeping while He agonized in prayer. Grieved, He said to them: “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing,

Heaven’s Threshold Page 76 but the flesh is weak” (Matthew 26:41). He repeated the warning because He knew how quickly the flesh can falter when we are not spiritually alert. There is nothing pleasant about feeling your mind invaded, especially when the thoughts come with overwhelming force. In those seasons, the pressure was intense. But God has been faithful. With His help, I have learned to overcome. The key is faith coupled with surrender. God helps those who place their trust in Him. He invites us to yield our will completely to His. Surrendering our will does not mean becoming passive; it means actively relinquishing control, trusting His plan is better than ours, and aligning ourselves with Him through consistent prayer, Scripture, obedience, and acts of faith and service. When our hearts delight in the Lord, when we find genuine joy in knowing and following Him, our desires naturally begin to conform to His desires. Psalm 37:4 promises: “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Jesus taught this same alignment in the Lord’s Prayer: “Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven” (Matthew 6:10). This is not a passive wish, it is a daily declaration of priority: God’s will above our own ambitions, plans, or comfort. The mind can feel like a battlefield, but we are not left defenseless. We put on the full armor of God. We watch and pray. We stand firm. We

Heaven’s Threshold Page 77 delight in Him. And we surrender our will to the One who already won the war. Step by step, day by day, the victory becomes more real, not because of my strength, but because of His.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 78 CHAPTER 8: CAN’T SLEEP leep wouldn’t come, no matter how I willed it. My thoughts raced forward, darting from one idea to the next, unraveling into something too tangled to control. Then, just as they threatened to take over completely, the angel watching over me intervened. Though I couldn’t feel it, I knew it was there, feeling a zap, unseen and unfelt, yet present all the same. It never hurt, never startled. It simply existed, threading through my body like a quiet force, a gentle presence meant to steady me and help quiet my mind. Each time my thoughts surged too far, the zap returned, not to stop me, not to restrain me, but to guide me, helping me regain control before my mind slipped too deeply into its restless currents. Looking back on my three-year journey with God, I find myself piecing together the sequence of events as best as memory allows. Some details may slip through the cracks, lost in the passage of time, but what remains is undeniable, extraordinary moments that shaped me in ways I could never forget. While I may not capture every experience, I know I can recount enough to preserve the essence of those years, the ones that stood out, the ones that changed me. S

Heaven’s Threshold Page 79 I am not the only one who has experienced divine intervention. This is my story, and I am telling it the best way I know how. I have authority over it because it is my story. Everyone has a story, and there are many testimonies regarding near-death experiences, encounters with heaven or hell, or other extraordinary encounters and interventions with God. Randy Kay, a CEO and strategic business leader, has interviewed over 100 individuals who have experienced near-death encounters. Drawing from his own profound near-death experience, Kay shares how faith can transform pain into purpose and suffering into joy. His decades of research on thriving in life have uncovered practical methods to overcome challenges and fulfill God’s purpose. Having watched several of his podcast episodes, I find the spiritual experiences shared by his guests to be deeply inspirational and extraordinary. Another inspiring podcast is Deep Believer, which offers meaningful and thought-provoking content. In the last days, God says, “I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams.” I see this happening more than ever before in my life. More people are coming forward with their testimonies. This has happened to ordinary people, and it is not only just a few, but a myriad of people who have shared their stories. We can determine and analytically agree that it is true. If a statistical sample test were conducted to

Heaven’s Threshold Page 80 measure the occurrences of divine interventions by God, it would assess the validity and reliability of individuals’ testimonies. The frequent similarities among these accounts, despite their unique aspects, could support the determination that such interventions are “true” based on probabilistic analysis. To sum up, the Bible is considered true based on word of mouth and eyewitness testimonies from those who lived in earlier times. They kept careful records and passed them on to their children. It has been preserved through the generations, and prophecy has been fulfilled. I believe in the Bible as God’s Word. He worked through the prophets to write it down on scrolls. I hear of miracles happening every day. How many have prayed in intercession for others? God is real, and if someone doubts, they need to seek the truth for themselves. One of the books I read is The Case for Christ by Lee Strobel. He is a former investigative journalist. It is a book I recommend to readers. Speaking of books, God led me to read Dancing with Anger and another self-help book about dealing with hurt, Games People Play, which I happened to have lying around my house at the time. At that time, I harbored a lot of past anger and hurt. He was in my everyday life, guiding me, restoring what was lacking in my life, and encouraging me toward better health and well-being. He

Heaven’s Threshold Page 81 corrected me when my thoughts were judgmental or not aligned with His holiness. Like a father and a friend, He was patient with me. At one point, He even had me pacing and chanting, “I need Your grace, mercy, and prayer.” One night, during a difficult time and while very sleep deprived, I took some over-the-counter sleeping pills, and they did not seem to work, so I took more. I began to feel somewhat sick, and my legs became somewhat numb. I then had a vision of God reaching out His large hand, and I placed my hand into His. God sees what is deep within our hearts. He seemed pleased, but I asked Him if He could help me sleep, and He did not seem as pleased with my request, especially after giving me that vision. As I said, it was a very difficult time in my life, and I am not proud of some of my actions. He allowed me to exercise my free will, even when my choices were not good. During a time when I was single, I met a man for whom I had feelings, but it was not a good choice. It was later revealed that he slept around frequently and was not a Christian. I allowed my feelings for him to control me and found myself looking for love in all the wrong places. When I was about to go meet up with him, Jesus came to me and tried to discourage me. He reminded me that He had bled for my sins. He forgave me for my disobedience during that time. Though I was burdened with guilt, He later showed me that I was simply searching for love.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 82 I am a stronger and more mature person now than I was back then. I have been in unhealthy relationships and failed to recognize the red flags. God showed me that I do not owe any man. Our actions greatly affect us, and not everything improves with time if it is ignored. We reap what we sow. The Bible verse, “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap,” is found in Galatians 6:7. This verse means that the consequences of our actions will come back to us, whether good or bad. If we sow good things, we will reap good things; if we sow bad things, we will reap bad things. It is a reminder to be mindful of our actions and their consequences.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 83 CHAPTER 9: CHRISTIAN DUTIES ollowing the Spirit’s guidance, I was moved by God to act whenever He directed me. During a time of revival in my life, I encountered an acquaintance I had seen around town before. He had a motorcycle and offered me a ride. Sensing that there was a purpose behind this encounter, I agreed. While we were riding, he slowed down near a yard where a young boy was playing and waved to him. This unsettled me, and my own painful experiences as a victim led me to suspect his intentions. Anger began to well up inside me. When we eventually stopped, I felt a strong urge to minister to him. I opened up about my past, sharing the pain of being molested as a child. Through this conversation, I was able to guide him into a more spiritual mindset. He confessed that, in this state of awareness, he could not imagine acting on harmful impulses, though he admitted to his own struggles. God prompted me to tell him that there is no more time to waste for those who remain lost: “No time left for losers.” Through this experience, I came to believe that God sometimes uses me to reach those in need of His word and guidance, and I have embraced that calling. Yet in this instance, I struggled with ministering to someone I F

Heaven’s Threshold Page 84 felt uncomfortable around. I would have preferred to help victims or those who were lost in other ways. Even so, I trust that God seeks to redeem all sinners and lead them to repentance. Thankfully, God also reassured me that I would not have to minister to individuals like this in the future. Who is to say how and when God will use His children? God directs us not to lean on our own understanding, but in all our ways to submit to Him (Proverbs 3:5–6). God was also dealing with my hatred and unforgiveness during this time. He showed me that what I felt was understandable, yet He helped me redirect that hatred and said, “Hate Satan.” He does not want us to carry hatred toward other people, especially my father, whom I had been holding resentment toward and even imagine harm against in my mind. God does not hate the person but hates sin. Forgiveness is not about excusing behavior but about freeing ourselves and others from what keeps us in captivity. Of course, the pain and darkness within me were being brought to the surface by God, so it was not easy. It felt like a post-traumatic response surfacing strongly at the time. However, I have been able to overcome it. In order to do that, I had to begin seeing my father as a child, recognizing that he too came from a broken childhood. I do not wish anyone to go to hell, but hell is a real place. I never want to know or experience such a place. We are called to pray for our enemies and for those who, intentionally

Heaven’s Threshold Page 85 or unintentionally, hurt us. Vengeance belongs to the Lord, as mentioned in Romans 12:19: “Never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God.” God has made my purpose clear, to take up the work of going to people across the Northwest when He calls me to do so. He’s placed this calling on my heart to reach people wherever they are, whether in a small town or a busy city, and to share His love and truth. This isn’t something I lead on my own; Jesus guides me every step of the way, showing me who needs His message. It’s not always easy, but I trust Him to equip me for the journey. Even though this calling was revealed to me, I found myself reflecting deeply on my true purpose. But now I see clearly, it has been before me all along, illuminated since the time of my revival. With renewed understanding, I embrace this journey wholeheartedly, ready to fulfill the calling that God has placed on my life. Just recently, God used me again. I went to a local Chinese restaurant to pick up dinner for me and my husband. The restaurant had a bar attached to it, and the front door to the restaurant section was locked, so I went into the bar area and saw a friend who happened to be a cousin of my former husband. She was about to leave because she was tired, but something seemed to keep her from going. I started talking to her, and the conversation turned to God. I asked her if she had ever had any spiritual experiences. She said she had and began

Heaven’s Threshold Page 86 to share them with me. As she spoke, my hair stood up, and I knew it was the Holy Spirit. Given the circumstances, I believed it was no coincidence, I was meant to run into her. The message, I believe, was for her to lean on God, and He would give her rest. In the book of Matthew in the Bible, it says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” This is attributed to Jesus and is a promise of rest and relief for those who come to Him. Jesus was calling her and letting her know that He is there for her. So, you never know when Jesus will lead you to someone. It is good to give when you feel led to help others. Sometimes, it is not money, it is something of the spirit, a gift freely given to those who believe. Mary told me during my time of revival to “Help God” and said my name, and that every knee will bow. God also said, “Have fun being good.” This reflected responding to people calmly without negativity or defensiveness, while still asserting oneself with appropriate words. I was advised to occasionally respond to those who use derogatory or insinuating language toward me, “throw it back” in a good way. Some people engage in certain activities, and during that time, I was in their company. At the time, I may have been somewhat reserved about talking to anyone about the Bible or my faith, and I also did not fully know how. Being kind does not cost anything, yet it carries great value. We never know what someone is going through.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 87 The Bible teaches us integrity and self-control. It is an amazing gift we have been given through Scripture, which is God’s Word. It is both a tangible guide and a source of great value, it is a living Word. During this time, I was instructed to read it more often, though I sometimes found it difficult to read anything in its entirety. Some people are more naturally inclined to read than others. At other times, however, you may encounter something that you simply cannot put down.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 88 CHAPTER 10: JOURNEY THROUGH FAITH he night before, I was informed that I would be going on a journey and advised me to remain silent, not communicating with my boyfriend or my daughter. The reason for including my daughter is unclear. It might have been to encourage me to leave the house and go on this trip alone. My boyfriend at that time would often remain silent when he was upset, even if someone came by to visit. This behavior could be perceived as rude, since visitors didn’t know why he wasn’t speaking to them, eventually leading them to leave. He prioritized his own issues over interacting with others. I lost some respect for him because he was an absent father, what some might call a “deadbeat dad.” This wasn’t because of custody arrangements, but because of his lack of presence in their relationship. He was never truly there for them and was unreliable. God called it a game we were playing. He even allowed me to see things from the beginning and gave Satan the first attempt, as if he would try to stop me from going. This confused my daughter to this day, because she T

Heaven’s Threshold Page 89 once told me, “God does not play games.” That perspective can be helpful, though, as a tool to encourage perseverance when necessary. I believe it was a different kind of “game” God was referring to, the game of life. I cannot say that I fully understand it, but I accept that I was being led. God also communicated with me through music. There were particular songs I would hear on the radio when I felt a certain way or when I was tempted by something. God said He would help me if I was getting into too deep or close to succumbing to temptation. At the time, I listened to classic rock and roll music. I would hear Follow Me by Uncle Kracker and There were other songs that would lift my spirits or guide me, even leading me away from temptation. “Angel” by Sarah McLachlan was one of them. I knew these were not coincidental, because of the timing, these songs would come on at very specific moments when I needed them most. This period was challenging, as I was not speaking to either my boyfriend or my daughter, in obedience to what I had been instructed. It made it very difficult to simply pick up and leave, especially with a 17-year- old at home. A friend came to assist me by relaying messages, since I was not communicating directly. Even then, it was difficult and somewhat inefficient to pass messages in front of them. I asked her to request that my boyfriend keep my daughter occupied while I was away, perhaps by playing games.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 90 When I returned, it appeared that he had not engaged with her much, which left her somewhat displeased. Although she was okay, she was not particularly happy about spending the weekend with him. Additionally, I received a reminder to be cautious and attentive while driving. At the time, I was not sure where I was heading. It felt like everything was happening all at once, and staying focused was difficult. Still, I felt secure walking alone at night, confident in the presence of divine protection. Though unsure of my destination, I focused on the road despite my poor night vision. I relied on His guidance, as I lacked a sense of direction except in familiar areas. Without GPS, I didn’t know exactly where I was going. I eventually arrived at a hotel on the first night and kept in mind to be cautious of traffic. That night, I went for a walk, ended up at a bar, and encountered some women playing pool. I mentioned God, and one of them shared that her father had communicated with God. She asked if I had seen angels. I told her that I had not seen angels, but I could sense their presence and hear them in a way I could not fully explain. Even when I didn’t always feel it, she assured me she could tell I was spiritual. That comforted me, as I often wondered about God’s presence during silent moments.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 91 She explained that she asked because her father had spoken with her about his spiritual experiences, and she wanted to confirm their authenticity. She mentioned she would have him call me, and he did later. I believe it was mentioned that he wrote a book called Conversations with God, either by him or his daughter. It was a long time ago, so some of the details are a bit unclear. I went back to my hotel room. The next day, I got on the road again, and the traffic was heavy. I was heading toward Seaside, Oregon, toward the southwest. I thought I was in the clear regarding traffic danger and did not feel the need to be as cautious anymore. Traffic moved in periods of stopping and starting. In one of those moments, I hit an SUV in front of me. At the moment of impact, I felt something beyond the physical collision. The sudden force seemed to propel me inward, as though a divine presence was reaching out to me. It felt as if an angel was guiding me, urging me to seek comfort in my faith, gently drawing me back into God’s arms. That whisper but I heard it loud and clear, “Trust God, Julie”, resonated deeply within me. It was a gentle yet profound reminder to place my trust in Him. As I leaned back, it felt like I was being cradled in God’s arms, His presence surrounding me with reassurance and love. Despite my lifelong

Heaven’s Threshold Page 92 struggle with trust, this moment revealed a truth I could not ignore: God’s guidance is steadfast, never faltering or misleading. That realization brought me comfort, a sense of peace that surpassed the chaos around me. It reminded me that, in placing my trust in Him, I could find clarity, strength, and solace, even in the most unexpected and vulnerable moments. To genuinely trust in God, we must relinquish control and surrender ourselves. While this can be challenging, it becomes more manageable with consistent practice. In a recent work situation, I experienced the importance of trust and surrender. I needed to accept the outcome of a particular scenario, with the understanding that if it did not go as planned, I would consider resigning. Fortunately, the situation resolved positively. Jesus allowed me to experience the depth of surrender, letting go of the outcome and trusting whatever would unfold in that situation. The experience was noteworthy. It felt like the position was well-suited for me. After numerous unsuccessful interviews for promotional positions and other job opportunities, I felt exhausted and disheartened, and I expressed this in prayer to Jesus. When something doesn’t work out, God may have a better plan in mind, one that is beyond what we can currently comprehend. Sometimes, the paths we envision for ourselves are not the ones that lead to our true fulfillment.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 93 It can be difficult to see in the moment, but life’s setbacks can become steppingstones that guide us toward a purpose or destination greater than what we had imagined. We must learn to trust the timing and unfolding of our lives, knowing that each challenge and each closed door can serve as a gentle nudge toward a more meaningful journey. By keeping the faith, we allow ourselves to be guided by this higher wisdom, trusting that every twist and turn is part of a larger picture yet to be revealed. If my new manager had desired, she could have reassigned me to my previous position, as it was still early enough to do so. Initially, we had a misunderstanding that led me to consider resigning. However, upon reflection, I realized that remaining in the situation and doing what was best for myself meant not quitting my job. It required me to set aside my pride. In the end, things were resolved, and I retained my new position. Although I experienced significant stress at the beginning, we were able to communicate, and she later apologized for her part in the situation. Despite feeling anxious throughout the process, it ultimately concluded successfully. I continue to receive guidance from Jesus through the Holy Spirit, though in a different way compared to my earlier experiences with God. Jesus revealed certain truths about her insecurities, which were influenced by my long-standing employment with the state. His guidance enabled me to navigate the situation effectively.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 94 “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”, Philippians 4:6–7 After the accident, I apologized to the woman I hit, and we exchanged information. Fortunately, her vehicle sustained only minor damage. I rented a car for the remainder of the trip while mine was towed for repairs. My car sustained the majority of the damage. I then arrived in Seaside, Oregon and attended a local church service. The pastor delivered a sermon titled, “Does God Really Care?” He was visibly sorrowful after losing his son and his wife. I had never heard something like that preached in a church setting before. After the sermon, several individuals from the church spoke with me, as I was new, and conversations began. I was also seeking a place to stay for the night. A man, accompanied by his wife, offered me accommodation. However, I felt uneasy and perceived that his intentions might have been different, possibly indicating inappropriate motives. I sensed, as I believe God communicated to me, that I might encounter individuals who would have lustful intentions toward me. A woman then stepped in and took me under her care. She observed that the

Heaven’s Threshold Page 95 man’s behavior suggested an inappropriate level of interest. I felt sympathy for his wife, as the situation was uncomfortable for everyone involved. This woman was a Christian on a journey guided by God. Whether she was a follower of Christ or an angel, I cannot say for certain. Hebrews 13:2 states, “Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels.” She had initially intended to accompany me to my residence for a while, but I anticipated that this might become inconvenient for her. Additionally, my boyfriend would likely not have agreed to her staying with us, even for one night. As a result, we shared the cost of a hostel room for the night. Since I was fasting, having a bowl of soup felt especially satisfying. She seemed to understand that it was not appropriate to continue accompanying me further, as though she was being guided by her inner conviction and by God. I eventually gave her a ride to a bus stop, after which I returned home. I have not seen her since that time. Upon returning home, I reflected on the pastor’s sermon and was moved to write him a letter to encourage him and affirm that God does care. Although I do not know the impact of that letter, I also prayed for him. He had endured significant hardships in losing both his wife and his son.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 96 Psalm 23:1 reminds us that God sees every detail of our lives, from our greatest joys to our deepest sorrows. His posture toward us is love, even when our emotional awareness of Him is not always strong. That experience was meaningful. At that time, my faith had not yet reached the level of maturity it would later grow into. Nevertheless, I felt guided and supported, which strengthened my faith and contributed to its ongoing development. It was as though I was being gently reminded to “Trust in God, Julie.” I am grateful for such a significant experience, even though I was still navigating various challenges and seeking direction in my life at that time. I did not have very good luck with my vehicles during this time, and my mom’s husband took me to an auction in hopes of finding a car. The moment I remember most from that experience occurred as we were leaving. Two men, possibly from Arabia, looked at me with an intensity that felt like hatred. It was palpable. It felt as though they wanted to harm me at that very moment. I suppose this may have been influenced by the cultural environment they came from, one that I do not fully understand, where women are sometimes treated as second-class citizens. I am thankful to have been born in the United States, something I believe God also mentioned I was fortunate to have, particularly given the

Heaven’s Threshold Page 97 circumstances I was experiencing at that time. I had done nothing to provoke these individuals. At the auction, I also observed two other gentlemen whose words and actions suggested strong moral character. I had a sense that they could have been angels in disguise, though this was simply a personal impression. “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.”, Hebrews 13:2

Heaven’s Threshold Page 98 CHAPTER 11: ONLY GOD COULD HAVE KNOWN t about 8 or 9 years old, I sensed a strong evil presence while looking out an upstairs window toward the back of the house. I stepped back from the window due to an intense feeling emanating from outside. No one was ever informed about this incident. It felt like a demonic presence of pure hatred. I later experienced a vision in which I returned to that moment, accompanied by Jesus, who placed His hand on my shoulder and stood beside me. This vision came from the Lord and was known only to Jesus. Over the years, I have experienced a sense of negative presence on a few occasions, particularly in my house and in my neighbor’s house. There were even rumors that our houses were haunted. As a child, I once spent the night at my friend’s house next door. During the night, I heard the sounds of a man and a woman who seemed to be moving about and making noises that suggested they were having a lively gathering. At first, I assumed the noise was coming from her parents. However, after speaking with them the following day, they confirmed that they had not A

Heaven’s Threshold Page 99 been awake, had not made any noise, and had not been hosting any activity. This unusual occurrence disturbed me throughout the night, while my friend slept through it. During my three-year period of spiritual renewal, which I refer to as my revival, I gained deeper insight into the nature of spiritual evil through my experiences with God. Has anyone ever conducted an interview with a demon to truly understand their nature or intentions? Demons are often described as fallen angels, spiritual beings who chose to follow Satan. They are devoid of godliness and are consumed by an intense hatred for humanity. Contrary to popular belief, souls in hell are not simply idle. Rather, they are described as being tormented by these malevolent entities. There are numerous testimonies from individuals who have had near-death experiences (NDEs) and claim to have witnessed people being tormented for the evil deeds they committed on earth. These witnesses describe scenes of unimaginable horror, where demons seem to derive perverse pleasure from inflicting pain and suffering. It appears that this torment is what brings them a twisted sense of satisfaction, as though they are fueled by the agony of their victims. The hatred they harbor is pure and unrelenting, in stark contrast to the pure and boundless love that God has for us.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 100 This contrast between divine love and demonic hatred highlights the ongoing struggle between good and evil and serves as a reminder of the consequences of our choices in this life. Because we possess free will, we have the ability to choose whom we will follow. If we follow only our own desires, it can lead us down a path of despair. Through my own profound experiences, I recognized my need for a Savior. I sensed the presence of darkness at times, not always overt, but noticeable in its subtle and intermittent presence. In these moments, the importance of seeking divine guidance becomes clear. The struggle between good and evil is constant. As individuals with free will, we must choose to seek a higher power. The reality of spiritual darkness reminds us of the weight of our choices and the need for redemption. God’s love is pure and boundless, standing in contrast to the unrelenting nature of hatred. Embracing divine love and seeking a Savior helps us resist darkness and choose light, peace, and salvation. These choices not only shape our present lives but also carry eternal significance, underscoring the importance of walking in truth and faith. I inferred that they were examining the spiritual encounters involving the divine occurring around me, although I may be mistaken. I became aware of the realm of the spirit world and heard what was happening around me. I

Heaven’s Threshold Page 101 believe this experience helped me better understand different spirits and how to test them. The discernment of spirits is a supernatural ability enabled by God’s Holy Spirit that allows a person to determine the source of a spiritual manifestation, whether it originates from God, the devil, the world, or man. When this gift is present, God can reveal information about the presence or absence of spiritual entities. This gift is commonly understood as being useful for detecting evil spiritual influences, but it can also reveal the presence or absence of angelic activity or the prompting of the Holy Spirit within us. Having Faith in Your Dreams I had a vision in which I found myself in a terrifying situation, being chased by the man from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. As I was running, I tried to rebuke him, but it felt as though either my faith was not strong enough or the figure in the vision was too overpowering. I suppose I watched too many scary movies. It felt like I was close to overcoming the situation, yet for some reason, I could not fully rebuke him in the vision. I experienced a sense of having failed. The phrase, “No weapon formed against me shall prosper,” is a powerful declaration from the Bible, found in Isaiah 54:17. It emphasizes that any weapon or attack formed against a person will not succeed. In that

Heaven’s Threshold Page 102 moment, I wished I had memorized that verse, as it would have strengthened my response within the vision. In Mark 9:14–29, Jesus’ disciples attempted to cast out a demon from a boy but were unsuccessful. When they asked Jesus why they could not drive it out, He replied, “This kind cannot be driven out by anything but prayer and fasting.” This response highlights that authority over certain spiritual situations is not achieved through human effort or technique, but through reliance on God’s power. My youngest daughter loved watching scary movies but struggled to sleep alone at night as a result. Although she would go to bed in her own room, she often ended up in my room or in one of her siblings’ rooms. One evening, she decided to hide under my older children’s bed while they were watching a scary movie. After hearing a noise from beneath the bed, my children investigated and discovered their younger sister hiding there, appearing frightened with her fingers near her mouth. The situation was quite amusing when I later learned about it. Certain films have been discerned, in my experience, as not appropriate for me to watch. These types of movies can linger in the mind and influence our thoughts. Because of this, I choose to avoid certain films with hard R-rated content. This can be challenging at times, as such content is very common today.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 103 As the youngest sibling, she often desired access to her older sister’s belongings, which eventually led to a lock being installed on their door. Having observed my methods for unlocking doors using cards or bobby pins, she attempted to imitate them. As a result, I would sometimes notice bobby pins sticking out of their door as she tried to gain entry to their room. Her siblings would become frustrated with her at times because of her curiosity about their belongings. One film that I regretted watching was The Exorcist. Although I felt compelled to see it, the content disturbed me, as it depicted events that seemed difficult to comprehend. The movie referenced Jesus casting out demons, which led me to reflect on Scripture. The Bible mentions Mary Magdalene having seven demons. In an article titled “The Seven Demons of Mary Magdalene, and Us” (Ellie Harty, 2021), the author writes: “You probably know the source of many of the misguided, nasty, misogynistic stories about Mary Magdalene and of the mostly, if not exclusively, men with agendas who propagated them. The main impetus for them came primarily from one short paragraph in the New Testament describing Jesus’ having to cast out seven demons from Mary Magdalene prior to her becoming His disciple. Many church scholars considered the number ‘seven’ significant, indicating her harboring all seven deadly sins, their obvious favorite being: lust!”

Heaven’s Threshold Page 104 We, today’s followers of Mary Magdalene in the church reform movement, have stated that we have come a long way in how we see and portray our apostle. However, as I reflected on our celebrations of her feast this July, I began to consider how the “seven demons” story might be reframed, not as an indictment, but as a tribute to Mary Magdalene. What if we “recast” it as an enlightening and meaningful message for us, her disciples? What if we used it as an opportunity to reflect on the “demons” within ourselves, rather than those attributed to her, that we must cast out in order to honor her legacy and fulfill our mission? In doing so, we might better commit ourselves to ensuring that women and all genders are fully included in the leadership and priesthood of the church. Here is what I would drive out: The demon of disillusionment, weariness, discouragement, defeat. One way to cast it out: See the accomplishments and possibilities of the whole struggle, not just the recent past. Women gaining the right to vote in the United States, for example, took almost 100 years of constant pressure, demonstration, and witness. What if they had given up in weariness and defeat? The demon of cynicism, negativity, even too much realism. One way to cast it out: Treasure our idealism as something precious and worth having.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 105 A sense of humor also helps. We can also lighten up and dance, especially when the madness of those in authority gets to be too much! The demon of shortsightedness, lack of imagination. One way to cast it out: Open up to fresh perspectives, new approaches…let’s face it, some of us have managed to ward off the gray in life…and not only because we dye our hair! Valued practices, experiences, models from the past yield the wisdom we sorely need, but we have to find new ways to reach the descendants to whom we will pass our purple stoles. The demon of being too angry or not angry enough. One way to cast it out: Consider where anger paralyzes rather than motivates, alienates rather than inspires. Considering where too much uncritical acceptance, as well as too much anger, makes us twist everything to fit our own narrative or makes us put blinders on. Our mothers often cautioned, “Everything in moderation.” How boring, we thought, but maybe also how true. The demon of being too busy or too lazy. One way to cast it out: Know the two imposters for what they are – excuses. The demon of over-complication or over-simplification. One way to cast it out: Keep talking and listening. Nothing is so overwhelmingly difficult it cannot be mastered by a coalition of minds, hearts, and hands acting together; nothing is so overwhelmingly simple that it cannot profit from new insights sharing in a diverse community can bring.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 106 The demon of judgmentalism. One way to cast it out: Realize the isolation it can bring to our lives; how it makes us truly alone in our quest. One final thought: On a broken-down shack in the woods near me, someone had spray-painted this: “Do no harm, but keep hurricanes at your fingertips!” I think Mary Magdalene would have approved. (Ellie Harty, (2021). There appears to be a distinction between being possessed and experiencing spiritual captivity or strongholds due to adverse experiences. I previously had concerns about the possibility of demonic possession, but I no longer worry about that or dwell on it. Those fears have been overcome. What is within me is stronger than what is in the world. As a Christian, it is advisable to avoid environments and influences associated with witchcraft and occult-type activities, as these can open the door to unwanted spiritual influences. Taking such precautions helps safeguard oneself from negative spiritual interference. Billy Graham cautioned Christians against purchasing objects that claim to possess “spiritual healing” powers, noting that such items, no matter how innocent they may seem, can be “demonic” and “opposed to God.” Instead of relying on objects that falsely claim to provide spiritual healing, Graham encouraged believers to place their hope in God, who promises that in heaven all pain and suffering will ultimately be erased.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 107 CHAPTER 12: WAVES OF GRACE: EMBRACING DIVINE FAVOR t was not always a smooth experience, as there were challenges involving adverse influences that attempted to divert me from my course. I was aware of spiritual matters while communicating with God, sometimes as if speaking to another person, and other times in a more intuitive or telepathic sense. He also presented visions, provided warnings, and offered comfort through songs. He indicated that He would assist me when I encountered difficulties, such as avoiding wrong decisions or preventing undesirable outcomes. This did not mean that every choice or situation resulted in the best possible outcome, but in certain circumstances, when it felt like God’s guidance was present, things seemed to fall into place with less effort. He would provide directions, and I needed to remain attentive. Though my beliefs remain firm, humans can sometimes stray from God. Staying close to God serves as spiritual sustenance, and we need His Holy Spirit to navigate our lives. The Bible says in Proverbs 22:21, “It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.” This reflects God’s blessing I

Heaven’s Threshold Page 108 of health and well-being for those who follow Him. Those who follow Jesus are offered a more abundant life. Load That Shotgun On one occasion, still peculiar to me even today, I was instructed to load the shotgun. I interpreted this instruction quite literally. It felt as though malevolent forces were targeting me, and a sense of impending danger was present. I experienced confusion during this time. At the same time, I felt a sense of being “chosen” in a metaphorical way, reminiscent of Mary’s experience during the conception of Jesus, though not in a literal sense. During my Bible study, I felt an urge to prepare, as though I were involved in a spiritual conflict occurring behind the scenes. I felt unsettled and even fearful when getting a ride from a neighbor, as my vehicle was being serviced. I asked him about his belief in God, and he shared that he did not believe, identifying as an atheist. At that moment, I felt an overwhelming sense of unease, as though he were an adversary. I felt compelled to offer him some form of ministry, but I did not. Under normal circumstances, I am not this sensitive, but given everything happening, I felt torn between what seemed like spiritual interference and the desire to follow God’s guidance. It was a confusing and unusual period, and I did not fully understand everything as it unfolded.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 109 During that time, I believed I was sensing connections to the Book of Revelation, and at moments, I felt as though I was metaphorically experiencing what I was reading. Although it is difficult to explain every detail, there was a persistent sense of an impending physical intrusion into my home. I received what I perceived as instructions to load a shotgun, and I did so, as we had one in the house. I now believe this experience was not a directive from God, but rather an influence that should not have been followed literally. Additionally, I was instructed to hide in the bathroom and shoot through the door. This was not aligned with God’s nature or the teachings of Scripture, but rather reflected confusion and fear influenced by the adversary. I called a trusted friend who was aware of my spiritual experiences, as she had also gone through similar encounters. She had been a long-time friend, and we shared similar backgrounds. Her immediate advice was to unload the shotgun. Shortly afterward, my boyfriend returned home from work. Had I kept the shotgun loaded and acted under the influence of fear or deception, hiding without identifying who was there, I could have harmed him. The situation could have escalated into something very serious.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 110 This experience did not align with the teachings of the Bible, which helped me recognize how deception can operate to mislead and entrap us. It became clear that such situations are designed to create confusion, fear, and doubt, pulling us away from the path of righteousness. Reflecting on this, I understood that moments of confusion and fear can be used to weaken discernment and lead one astray from faith. It served as a powerful reminder of the ongoing struggle between good and evil, and the importance of remaining vigilant, grounded in truth, and anchored in God’s Word to avoid being led into harmful situations. Satan is described in Scripture as evil, and he is said to be constantly seeking whom he may devour. God instructs believers to put on the full armor of God and to test the spirits, because not every spirit comes from Him. The Bible provides clear guidance on this discernment: “Do not believe every spirit but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.”, 1 John 4:1 “To another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, and to another the distinguishing of spirits.”, 1 Corinthians 12:10

Heaven’s Threshold Page 111 “By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God; and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist.”, 1 John 4:2–6 “You have known the sacred writings, which are able to give you the wisdom that leads to salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, so that the person of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.”, 2 Timothy 3:15–17 These passages emphasize that not every spirit is from God, and that discernment is essential in the life of a believer. During this season, I was also being exposed to various biblical themes and scriptures, and in a way, I felt as though I was living them out metaphorically as I was learning. This may help explain why certain experiences were occurring in the manner that they did. There are many scriptures related to healing. For example, Malachi 4:2 says: “But for you who fear My name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings; and you will go out and leap like calves from the stall.”

Heaven’s Threshold Page 112 Sometimes God allows us to go through uncomfortable situations to help us grow, refine our faith, and draw closer to Him. In spirit, my friend shared that she had an experience in which she heard music that she believed God allowed her to hear from heaven. She described it as very beautiful and said she was in God’s presence, experiencing peace and joy. During that moment, she said to God, “Why don’t You just forgive Satan?” According to her, the music stopped, and she immediately reacted with, “Oh no!” She then questioned herself, asking, “Did I really mean that?” As she reflected, she realized that she had meant it. When I heard this, I found it somewhat disturbing. However, I believe her intention was rooted in a desire for peace in the world. Through my own understanding, I believe God has shown that Satan is very evil.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 113 CHAPTER 13: MY JOURNAL; MY GENEALOGY ne insight that I believe was spiritually inspired by God was the importance of documenting my experiences in my journal during this period. It was revealed to me that there is a recurring pattern of reverting to previous habits or states of being, commonly known as backsliding. I am finished with that now and do not intend to return to it. With time, things continue to improve. I have learned to focus on the positive and reject negative thoughts. During this time, I felt special and favored by God, and I understand that others have felt similarly when they strongly sense God’s support. God makes each of us feel this way, especially when we are in His presence. God, Jesus, and His hosts have inspired and helped me to grow and improve. He has blessed my family, and I pray daily for their salvation. God showed me that the immediate family I was born into came from a low place, but He has exalted me and my family. I am adopted by my Father in heaven, and I have been blessed to encounter His presence alongside Jesus, angels, and His hosts. O

Heaven’s Threshold Page 114 I will continue to pray daily for my family, hoping they come to salvation before they pass. Some family members are not acquainted with God, yet I persist in praying for them. My brother struggles with alcohol addiction and harbors thoughts of death. Although he believes his faith in God will secure his place in heaven, he has not fully explored God’s will for his life. He has been lost for a considerable amount of time. I also pray for my eldest daughter to develop a closer relationship with God. Additionally, I pray for my niece, who is married to a woman, as well as another family member who suffers from clinical depression. Another relative is battling cancer and does not yet know Jesus as her Savior. While her situation may lead to considerations beyond this life, I am praying and hoping for both healing and eternal salvation. Some of my family members are still lost and need to be found, some struggle with low self-esteem, while others are strong believers in Christ. My father came from an abusive background; however, this is not an excuse to pass along the same treatment to his children. The origin of this cycle is not entirely clear, especially considering that some of our ancestors were pastors. On my mother’s side, my grandmother was fully Italian, and my grandfather, who passed away before I was born, can trace his genealogy back to the early settlers of Old Swede, now known as Delaware. According to the Mill Creek Hundred History Blog:

Heaven’s Threshold Page 115 The Springer story in Delaware begins with a tale that sounds as though it could have been taken from a movie script. Carl (Anglicized as “Charles”) Christopher Springer was born in Stockholm, Sweden, in 1658. As a boy, he went to London to study. After completing his education, at approximately age 18, he decided to return home to Sweden. Before he could do so, however, he was kidnapped, placed aboard an English ship, and sent to the West Indies. From there, he was transported to Virginia, where he was sold as an indentured servant. In Virginia, he served five years, essentially under conditions similar to slavery, performing what he described as “unspeakable” work, including clearing fields for the planting of tobacco and corn. A transcript of a letter he wrote to his mother, recounting his experiences, can be found online. After completing his five years of service, he heard of a community of Swedes approximately 400 miles to the north, in the Pennsylvania Colony. He traveled on foot to the settlement along the Delaware River, where he joined his fellow countrymen in the New Castle (later Wilmington) area. Charles Springer became a cornerstone of the community and was one of the founders of Holy Trinity (Old Swedes) Church. Charles and his wife Maria had eleven children, the eighth of whom was Jacob (Anglicized as “James”). In turn, Jacob’s eighth child was a boy named Nicholas Springer (1743–1792). It was Nicholas who, in 1766, became the

Heaven’s Threshold Page 116 first Springer to move into Northern Mill Creek Hundred (MCH). His cousin Charles had purchased land near Milltown several years earlier, as noted in the Lynam Log House post. Nicholas purchased 43 acres from William Eynon, situated on the east side of Limestone Road, just south of the Pennsylvania border. Eynon had bought the property several years earlier from Simon Hadley, whose grandfather of the same name had settled in the area about 50 years prior. I believe there is a high likelihood that the house Nicholas settled in still stands along Limestone Road (and is shown in the picture at the top of the post), even though one source appears to disagree. I also believe this DelDOT report (PDF) is mostly accurate but may have one or two plots confused, something that is not uncommon when dealing with 18th- and 19th-century deeds. Source: Mill Creek Hundred History Blog, “The Springers of Northern Mill Creek Hundred, Part 1” We do not have the privilege of choosing the family we are born into or the circumstances surrounding our arrival into the world. These factors are entirely beyond our control, our family’s values, financial situation, culture, and even the era in which we are born all shape the foundation of our early lives.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 117 While we may not have a say in these beginnings, they profoundly influence our journey, shaping our perspectives, challenges, and opportunities. However, as we grow, we gain the ability to decide how we respond to those circumstances and what kind of legacy we create for ourselves and those around us. At one point, I felt that my father had given me nothing of value. However, God revealed to me that my father had, in fact, given me something significant, a name. This realization helped me appreciate the importance of identity and heritage, even though I was not raised in the ideal environment a child should have. Despite the challenges and shortcomings of my upbringing, I did not lose hope. Through God’s help, I found the strength to persevere and move forward. This situation, difficult as it was, did not define my entire story. Instead, it became a testament to resilience and faith, reminding me that my journey is far from over and that, with divine guidance, I can overcome any obstacle. Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old, they will not turn from it.”

Heaven’s Threshold Page 118 “Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.”

Heaven’s Threshold Page 119 CHAPTER 14: ECHOES OF THE DIVINE oday, God communicates with me through the Holy Spirit. This divine connection guides me, providing wisdom and insight in my daily life. During my three-year revival, the presence of God was even more profound. He spoke to me openly and personally, as if whispering directly into my heart. This period was marked by an intimate and direct communion with the divine, where His messages were clear and unmistakable. It was a transformative time, filled with spiritual growth and a deepening of my faith. Even now, I cherish those moments and continue to seek His guidance through the Holy Spirit, knowing that His voice is always there to lead me. I have been listening for God’s voice; in the past, I used to hear Him speak in words. However, now it is different. Most of the time, it comes as impressions, gentle nudges and quiet promptings rather than anything spoken aloud. Back then, even songs carried His presence more strongly and clearly. Now, those moments feel softer and more fleeting. If I were to count them, they would not add up to sentences or even distinct words, just a sense, a whisper in my mind guiding me to act or to hold back. It is less about hearing and more about knowing. T

Heaven’s Threshold Page 120 During my three-year period with God, I experienced significant support. Assistance was provided for various tasks, including grooming and managing my appearance, which I attribute to angelic help. It felt as though I was being raised all over again. Additionally, help was given in opening a difficult window and addressing an injury I sustained. Only God could have known so personally about my injury and how to help it. At that time, I was working in direct care with clients who had developmental disabilities. Some of them exhibited aggressive behaviors, and I sustained a neck injury due to an incident with one of the clients. In a way that felt intentional, the experience seemed to strengthen the muscles around the injury by directing attention to that specific area. It was as though I was being restored and built up again, unusual as that may sound. Laundry, while necessary, occupied my thoughts. I imagined making a deal to wash everyone's robes in exchange for a place in heaven. Laundry has never been my favorite chore. As I've mentioned before, God knows our every thought. During one of my moments of contemplation, Jesus reassured me with a comforting message: “There is no laundry in heaven.” That revelation brought a smile to my face and a sense of relief. Knowing that in the divine realm, we are freed from the mundane tasks of everyday life was truly uplifting. It reminded me that heaven is a place of peace and joy, devoid of earthly burdens.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 121 This insight has helped me find a bit more patience and perspective when tackling my laundry pile, knowing that someday, such tasks will no longer be a part of my existence. It was later understood by Jesus that making agreements with a higher power is acceptable, even though individuals may not always fulfill their commitments. Occasionally, I was instructed to do a fast, and I had an experience that, upon reflection, seemed reminiscent of the book of Revelations, which mentions that some individuals will be imprisoned for approximately ten days. The period of 10 days was considered significant at this time. “Do not be afraid of what you are about to suffer. I tell you; the devil will put some of you in prison to test you, and you will suffer persecution for ten days. Be faithful, even to the point of death, and I will give you life as your victor's crown.” Revelation 6:20 During my fast, I experienced significant support. Typically, fasting for even half a day is challenging; however, I successfully completed it. Inquiring about the appropriateness of consuming a glass of chocolate milk, I received approval. He mentioned fasting and suggested that fasting for at least half a day would be acceptable. I felt like a child receiving divine instruction from God. He answered my questions and addressed my thoughts, making the Bible come alive within me. God is gracious to all who seek Him and helps us navigate through our trials and triumphs. He is patiently waiting for us to turn to Him, as we are all blessed with the gift of free will. Going through my divorce was an incredibly challenging time, and I found myself grappling with feelings of

Heaven’s Threshold Page 122 hopelessness. I felt like I had nothing to lose and was determined to fight the battle through the courts. The outcome and the overall dynamics of the situation left me feeling angry and dissatisfied. During this tumultuous period, I realized that my efforts alone were not enough to overcome the emotional turmoil I was experiencing. I had to reach a point of surrender, where I could let go of my anger and frustrations and entrust the situation to God's guidance. This act of surrender brought me a sense of peace and helped me navigate through the difficulties with renewed strength and faith. By giving the situation to God, I was able to find hope and healing. It served as a reminder that even in our darkest moments, we are not alone. With divine support, we can rise above our challenges and move forward with a sense of purpose and resilience.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 123 CHAPTER 15: A GENESIS EXPERIENCE orning arrived with a quiet weight, the kind that made the world feel paused, expectant. In that stillness, God spoke. “Be void,” He commanded, as the earth once had been before light broke the darkness. Empty yourself, let go. I did not question it. With my two youngest children beside me, I felt the pull eastward. No map, no marked destination, only the quiet certainty that we were meant to go. The roads were unfamiliar, winding through stretches of land. Without GPS to guide us, uncertainty lingered close, ready to turn any wrong turn into complete disorientation. A thought lingered in my mind: were we headed back to Ohio, the place where echoes of my past still remained? Or was this journey meant for something beyond what I could understand? But God had spoken. There was no room for hesitation, no place for overthinking. I gripped the wheel, took a breath, and pressed forward. I was reminded of God’s words: “Let not your right hand know what your left hand is doing.” The message settled within me, its meaning layered beyond immediate understanding. It was not merely about secrecy, it was M

Heaven’s Threshold Page 124 about trust. Moving forward without calculation, surrendering the need for control, and allowing myself to be led toward the East. I was low on money, but I knew I would be paid in a couple of days. Until then, I had to make do with what little cash I had. My checkbook sat in my bag, but without funds in the bank, it offered little reassurance. At that time, I did not have direct deposit, so I had asked my boyfriend to deposit my check when it arrived in the mail. It was my only way of accessing the funds. On top of everything, my children were difficult to manage that day, restless and pushing every limit. Their energy felt overwhelming, adding to an already stressful situation. Then the storm came. The weight of the day pressed heavily against me, and the downpour blurred the world into shifting shadows and streaks of light. Still, I could not shake the feeling, I was being pulled toward a fire station. It was not just a passing thought; it felt like direction, something urging me forward despite the storm. The rain was relentless. Sheets of water hammered the windshield, drowning the road in a hazy distortion. Visibility was poor, and my grip on

Heaven’s Threshold Page 125 the wheel tightened with every slick turn. Driving in these conditions had always been difficult for me, but this felt different. Then an eerie sensation crept in, a trance-like pull, almost hypnotic in the rhythm of the rain. My mind drifted, lulled by the steady pounding against the glass. Before I fully recognized what was happening, both my daughter and I felt it. Snap. A sudden jolt, as if waking too quickly from a deep sleep. We both startled, breath catching, our awareness snapping back to the present. The storm continued to rage, but we were fully awake now, alert and aware. And I kept driving. I wrestled with the weight of feeling guided by an angel, sensing direction beyond my own understanding. The presence felt calm and steady. A quiet voice seemed to acknowledge the path ahead: “This may take the night,” a gentle indication that the journey would not be immediate. As I neared my destination, the guidance did not waver. I was instructed to follow the vehicle in front of me, to trust its path as though it had been placed there for me to see. The road stretched on, the night

Heaven’s Threshold Page 126 deepening, yet I followed, holding onto the unseen direction leading me forward. My children continued asking where we were going. I did not know. Eventually, I arrived in the town of Issaquah, Washington. I reached there in the evening with little money and very little gas remaining. The weight of uncertainty pressed heavily on me as the day unfolded. My boyfriend had failed to deposit my check, leaving me without funds and without a safety net. I could not rely on him in that moment. So, I turned to God, trusting that the path ahead, no matter how unclear, would be revealed in its time. I did not know where I would spend the night, only that I had to keep moving forward. Faith would lead the way. When I saw a woman nearby, I approached her, the words forming almost instinctively. “Do you know where the fire station is? Or maybe a shelter?” I asked, sensing, no, feeling in my spirit, that they might be near one another, drawn together like two points on a map I had yet to see. As I wandered, a realization settled deep within me. I was a vagabond, not in punishment, not in shame, but because God wanted me to understand what it meant to walk this earth untethered, guided only by Him.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 127 The word carries weight in Scripture, exile, consequence, the raw truth of the human condition. But this was something different. I was not cast away; I was being taught. And so, I walked. The woman kindly offered to take my children and me out to eat, as we were feeling hungry. We also began looking for a place to stay for the night, though we had no money. It was cold outside, as it was around November. At this point, I was not being spoken to directly by the Spirit, but rather guided in a more subtle way, which made it somewhat confusing to discern where I was supposed to go. Still, I continued to rely on God. I remained in a posture of surrender, empty and dependent, feeling drained. I eventually found the fire station, but it appeared to be empty. As the evening grew later, I noticed a nearby construction site. My daughter and I explored the area, where we found a heat lamp providing warmth. I considered that this might be where we were meant to stay, at least temporarily, as it offered some heat and I did not want to run the car due to low fuel. I remember thinking to myself, “Who am I? Jesus was born in a manger.” In that moment, I tried to accept the simplicity of the situation. We later went to a park, but the bathrooms were locked. I also noticed graffiti on the wall that appeared satanic in nature, which I

Heaven’s Threshold Page 128 interpreted as a sign of the enemy’s presence. I reacted instinctively, even hissing, though later I realized I had been influenced by my imagination and emotions. I returned to my car and eventually ended up outside a church, though it was closed. I had been trying to find a way inside, remembering that God had previously shown me that the church is a place of refuge. Unable to enter, I pulled over near the church and decided to wait until morning to figure things out. At that point, I was stranded. Suddenly, I heard a knock on my car window and initially thought it was the police. Instead, it was a man who lived across the street. He handed me $100 to help me stay in a hotel. At that time, the amount was just enough. It felt as though he had been prompted to help, guided by the Holy Spirit. The funds were sufficient to secure a room with a little left over for gas to return home the following day. The hotel was accommodating and appeared to offer a discount. The room had one bed, and they even brought in a cot for my son, which was not a standard arrangement. After getting my children settled for the night, I went to take a shower. While I was taking longer than expected, I heard God’s voice say, “Hurry up.”

Heaven’s Threshold Page 129 I got out of the shower and went to sit in a chair. I had my Bible with me, and I opened it to Genesis. As I read, I reflected on the words: “In the beginning.” This phrase comes from the opening of the Bible, specifically Genesis 1:1–5, which describes how God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was initially “waste and void,” with darkness covering the face of the deep, and God then separated light from darkness. At that moment, I felt an overwhelming surge of inspiration, as though a divine presence was tangibly with me, God Himself, seated beside me, surrounding me with an indescribable sense of peace and purpose. In that sacred moment, it felt as though something new and transformative was being created within me, stirring my spirit in a way I had never experienced before. The experience was beyond extraordinary, deeply moving and awe- inspiring, revealing the profound connection and infinite possibilities within that divine encounter. In a personal sense, I felt as though I was the void, empty and formless, and that God had begun His work within me, crafting something entirely new. Just as in Genesis, where God brought order, light, and life into creation, it felt as though He was doing a similar work within my inner being, bringing clarity, purpose, and light to my life. The next morning, I used the remaining money I had to get gas and made my way home. I felt upset and believed my boyfriend had been unreliable for not depositing my check when I needed it. My children were

Heaven’s Threshold Page 130 confused and thought I was trying to run away with them; to this day, they still remember it that way. On the way back home, I kept experiencing thoughts that God wanted me to go to a mountain and hike. Eventually, I stopped at Tiger Mountain Trail and attempted to reach the top. I remember my daughter being in a mood and not wanting to walk up with me. I ended up going part of the way up the trail, but not all the way. In reflection, I am reminded of Scripture that speaks of God’s forgiveness and guidance from east to west. God directed my journey in ways that revealed both my purpose and His mercy. Just as far as the east is from the west, He forgives our sins and leads us forward in His grace. Verse 13 of Psalm 103 raises the question: how far is the east from the west? Of course, the answer is that there is no measurable distance. Embedded within these words is the concept of God’s forgiveness for humanity’s wrongdoing. It suggests that there is seemingly nothing God will not forgive, and moreover, He does not hold our past faults against us. Back home, I attended a Pentecostal church where, during that three- year period, I was led to be baptized, a celebration shared with family. It was a beautiful experience; I witnessed people dancing and rejoicing in the church, something I had never seen before. However, that church did not become my home church.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 131 Over time, I have attended many churches. I have come to understand that God leads me to different congregations as places of refuge. Since then, I have not had a single permanent home church in the traditional sense. I attended a smaller church for a period of time with a dear friend whom God guided me to. We both desired a Christian friendship, and I believe God brought us together intentionally. She has endured significant grief, having lost two of her children. Interestingly, my children were also friends with her children. She is a devoted Christian and holds a special place in my heart. Recently, my two grandchildren were baptized at our current church. I had prayed for a church that would be close to my home, and within the past couple of years, one was built. This church, called Motion, is actively doing meaningful work with the youth and residents in our community. At one point, I asked the pastor whether the fact that I had not completed the full mountain experience during my time at the Pentecostal church made a difference. I felt that God may have been showing me something related to faith, perhaps that faith can move mountains, or that His forgiveness extends from east to west, covering all sins. During that season, I struggled with forgiving myself. I also felt that the enemy and even my own thoughts would remind me of every sin I had ever committed. Guilt can be one of the tools used to weigh a person down,

Heaven’s Threshold Page 132 especially when forgiveness of oneself is difficult. Yet, the church ultimately resides within us, and with Jesus, that becomes our true place of refuge. Outwardly, baptism symbolizes a public declaration of an individual’s faith and commitment to their spiritual journey. It represents the cleansing of sins, a rebirth, and the beginning of a new life aligned with one’s beliefs. For many, it is a visible expression of inner transformation and an entry into a community of shared faith. It is a profound moment with both personal and communal significance. When I was younger, I was baptized in the Catholic Church. My grandmother was Catholic, and both my father and mother were raised Catholic. At that time, I was too young to fully understand the significance of baptism. Baptism practices and beliefs vary widely across Christian denominations, reflecting differences in theology, tradition, and interpretation of Scripture. Below is an overview of some key distinctions: Roman Catholicism:  Baptism is considered a sacrament necessary for salvation, washing away original sin.  It is typically administered to infants through sprinkling or pouring of water (aspersion).

Heaven’s Threshold Page 133  It includes a formal liturgy with godparents who pledge to support the child's faith journey. Eastern Orthodoxy:  Baptism is also seen as essential for salvation and involves triple immersion in water.  It is usually performed on infants, immediately followed by Chrismation (confirmation) and the Eucharist. Protestant Denominations:  Baptists: Practice believer's baptism, meaning only those who make a personal profession of faith are baptized, usually by full immersion.  Lutherans: Baptize infants and consider it a means of grace, though they also emphasize the importance of faith in the baptized individual.  Methodists: Accept both infant and believer's baptism and allow sprinkling, pouring, or immersion as methods. Anglicans/Episcopalians:  Baptism is viewed as a sacrament of initiation into the Church. Both infants and adults are baptized, typically through sprinkling or pouring.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 134 Pentecostals:  Emphasize believer's baptism by full immersion as a public testimony of faith. It is often accompanied by an expectation of spiritual renewal, such as speaking in tongues.  Anabaptists (e.g., Mennonites, Amish):  Practice adult baptism exclusively, as they believe it should follow a conscious decision of faith. Full immersion is often preferred. Non-Denominational Christians:  Practices vary widely but are often similar to Baptist traditions, with an emphasis on personal faith and immersion. While the mode and timing differ, the core symbolism of baptism, cleansing, rebirth, and dedication to God, is shared across these traditions. Just like there are so many denominations not all lead to heaven, it is the rebirth through Jesus. That's a powerful declaration of faith, inspired by Jesus' own words in John 14:6: "I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the father except through me." For many believers, this verse encapsulates the core of Christian theology, the belief that salvation and eternal life are found through Jesus' sacrifice and resurrection. We are to watch deception 1 John 4:2-3, which says: "Every spirit that acknowledges that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, but every spirit that does

Heaven’s Threshold Page 135 not acknowledge Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you have heard is coming and even now is already in the world." This passage emphasizes the significance of affirming Jesus' incarnation, His coming to earth as fully God and fully human, as central to the Christian faith. It also serves as a warning to discern truth from deception in spiritual matters.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 136 CHAPTER 16: THE DEVIL'S ARRIVAL ne evening, an angel appeared to me in a state of urgent alarm. She was trying desperately to warn me of something, but her message felt just out of reach. I wandered through the house, straining to understand, half-hearing, half-lost. Eventually she led me into the bathroom. When I opened a drawer, there lay a small rubber snake. This happened near the end of my three-year season of unusually close communion with God. The angel’s warning was unmistakable: the devil was coming. She didn’t say how or exactly when, only that he was on his way. The uncertainty left me quietly anxious. The next morning, I sat watching a television sermon. A woman was receiving prayer for healing. As the minister laid hands on her, something rose to the surface, whether a literal demonic possession or a powerful stronghold rooted in childhood abuse and trauma, I still don’t know. The moment felt raw and real. I turned off the television, walked into the kitchen, and froze. O

Heaven’s Threshold Page 137 There, on the floor near the doorway, was a dark, shadowy outline, the unmistakable silhouette of a snake. No physical snake, no toy, no trick of the light. Just a pure, malevolent shape hanging in the air for a heartbeat before it vanished. “Oh my God,” I whispered. Fear hits like ice water. I lunged for my Bible on the kitchen table, clutching it like a shield. I began to rebuke the enemy out loud, voice shaking, feeling as though I were failing even as I tried. Yet in that same instant, something far stronger arrived. The presence of God entered the house, protective, resolute, immense. It was the unmistakable feeling of a Father stepping between His child and danger. I didn’t decide to move; I was drawn. Down the hallway, toward my bedroom, pulled by a force more certain than instinct. Then He acted. The shadows that had settled in the closet, dark, creeping presences that had made themselves comfortable, suddenly had no option but to flee. I heard their panic. I felt the frantic scramble as they tore through the house, rushing toward the nearest exit in absolute terror. And God was right behind them.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 138 His presence alone was enough. They had no power to resist, no chance to linger. They scattered like smoke before wind, driven out with no hope of return. “Chasing those demons right out of my closet,” I remember thinking as the reality sank in. There weren’t just one or two. There were more than a few. When it was over, the bedroom was silent again, only this time the silence carried the afterglow of something far greater than fear. The air felt clean. The weight was gone. And I stood there holding my Bible, heart still pounding, knowing I had just witnessed the Lord defend His own house. This was quite an ordeal. When the entire experience was over, I asked the angel, “What went wrong?” She mentioned that I was lacking some faith. It was a significant moment, God was, in a sense, chasing the demons out of my life, out of my environment, and out of my house. They fled. Oh, God is good. I was also told by an angel, at least as I understood it, that I could say the word “anon” to God. I did not know what that word meant at the time.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 139 I called out to God, and He gave me a vision when I spoke it, allowing me to see myself getting His attention and Him responding to me. Later, I looked up the word and discovered that it means “to hurry.” The word “anon” has its origins in Old English, where it meant “straightway” or “forthwith.” It comes from the phrase “on āne,” which literally means “into one,” signifying immediacy or continuous action. Its earliest known usage dates back to the late 1600s. Through this experience, God showed me His power and removed those strongholds that had a hold on me. He also instructed me to close the door, to close the door to my past. To this day, I no longer feel the same impact, and I have experienced significant healing. I no longer have flashbacks. He helped me understand that what I experienced was an illusion, the shadow of the serpent, not the real presence of the devil, in the context of that encounter. Speaking of strongholds, according to the American Psychiatric Association, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a psychiatric disorder that may occur in people who have experienced or witnessed a traumatic event, a series of events, or a set of circumstances. These experiences may be emotionally or physically harmful or life-threatening and can affect a person’s mental, physical, social, and/or spiritual well-being. Examples of traumatic events include natural disasters, serious accidents, terrorist acts, war or combat, rape or sexual assault, historical

Heaven’s Threshold Page 140 trauma, intimate partner violence, and bullying. PTSD has been known by many names in the past, such as “shell shock” during World War I and “combat fatigue” after World War II. However, PTSD is not limited to combat veterans, it can affect people of any ethnicity, nationality, culture, or age. PTSD affects approximately 3.5 percent of U.S. adults each year. The lifetime prevalence among adolescents ages 13–18 is about 8 percent. It is estimated that one in eleven people will be diagnosed with PTSD at some point in their lifetime. Women are twice as likely as men to experience PTSD. Additionally, certain ethnic groups, including U.S. Latinos, African Americans, and Native Americans/Alaska Natives, are disproportionately affected and have higher rates of PTSD than non-Latino whites. People living with PTSD often experience intense, disturbing thoughts and emotions related to their trauma long after the event has passed. They may relive the experience through flashbacks or nightmares. They may feel sadness, fear, or anger, and may also feel detached or estranged from others. Individuals with PTSD may avoid people, places, or situations that remind them of the trauma, and they may react strongly to ordinary stimuli such as loud noises or unexpected physical contact. Symptoms of PTSD fall into the following four categories. Specific symptoms can vary in severity.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 141 Intrusion: Intrusive thoughts such as repeated, involuntary memories; distressing dreams; or flashbacks of the traumatic event. Flashbacks may be so vivid that people feel they are reliving the traumatic experience or seeing it before their eyes. Avoiding reminders of the traumatic event may include avoiding people, places, activities, objects and situations that may trigger distressing memories. People may try to avoid remembering or thinking about the traumatic event. They may resist talking about what happened or how they feel about it. Alterations in cognition and mood: Inability to remember important aspects of the traumatic event, negative thoughts and feelings leading to ongoing and distorted beliefs about oneself or others (e.g., “I am bad,” “No one can be trusted”); distorted thoughts about the cause or consequences of the event leading to wrongly blaming self or other; ongoing fear, horror, anger, guilt or shame; much less interest in activities previously enjoyed; feeling detached or estranged from others; or being unable to experience positive emotions (a void of happiness or satisfaction). Alterations in arousal and reactivity: Arousal and reactive symptoms may include being irritable and having angry outbursts; behaving recklessly or in a self-destructive way; being overly watchful of one's surroundings in a suspecting way; being easily startled; or having problems concentrating or sleeping.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 142 Many people exposed to a traumatic event experience symptoms similar to those described above in the days following the event. However, for a diagnosis of PTSD, symptoms must persist for more than one month and must cause significant distress or impairment in daily functioning. While many individuals develop symptoms within three months of the trauma, symptoms may also appear later and can persist for months or even years. As I mentioned previously, during the first year of my three-year spiritual revival, I experienced something truly enlightening. One day, while getting a ride from a pastor, we began talking, and I felt a strong urge to share with him the topic of his upcoming sermon. To his astonishment, my insight was accurate, and he acknowledged that it must have been God revealing it to me. Though I do not fully understand why these moments happen, I believe they may be God’s way of guiding my attention to specific aspects of a message or sermon. A similar experience occurred with my husband, when a topic we had discussed was later addressed in church that very same morning. These remarkable moments have taken place on several occasions. These experiences have had a profound impact on me. They have deepened my faith and heightened my awareness of God’s presence in my life. Each occurrence serves as a reminder of the divine connection and guidance I believe I have been blessed to receive. This journey has not only

Heaven’s Threshold Page 143 enriched my spiritual life but has also strengthened my belief in divine revelation and the importance of remaining attentive to God’s leading. Life can throw you curveballs. Life is like a baseball game, sometimes we get strikes, but that does not mean we are out. Among the several pieces of advice I received, one particularly significant suggestion pertained to managing confusion. In moments when I felt disoriented, I was instructed to use the phrase, “stop, reset, normal, go.” This technique proved beneficial in helping me regain focus during challenging situations. My husband of 26 years has a history of alcoholism. Although he has been sober for many years now, and was sober when we first met, his journey has not been without challenges. Initially, I was drawn to him primarily because of his Christian faith, which aligned with my desire for a Christian partner. Despite my own struggles with being open to love again, I found myself developing feelings for him over time. We began our relationship as friends. At that time, I was still consuming alcohol, and we met in 2004. He was also dealing with significant anger toward his former spouse. It took him nearly five years to fully release the resentment he carried from that previous relationship. His former spouse had chosen to leave, taking everything, including their children, which resulted in a divorce. This was something we

Heaven’s Threshold Page 144 had in common. He struggled with that loss, while I was navigating my own recovery. Not all paths are marked solely by triumphs or tragedies; life is a mixture of both, and we never fully know what it will bring. Our attitude, along with our reliance on God, can make a profound difference in how we respond to the situations we face. At one point, he resumed drinking. Although I did not immediately notice, it became clear over time that he could not limit himself to just one drink. His behavior began to change as alcohol took hold of his life. I struggled deeply to cope with the situation and even considered leaving him. I knew that decision would have been devastating for both of us, as we had already invested so much in our marriage, and neither of us wanted to start over. There were times when I felt he was distancing himself from me, and I did not always feel supported. However, since he has returned to and maintained sobriety for some time, our lives have improved significantly. I have grown stronger in my faith and more grounded in who I am. While I acknowledge my own shortcomings, I no longer allow his past struggles to influence my stability. He is now more rational, and we continue to grow together as we age. Our story is still unfolding, and I believe there remains a purpose for our lives. As long as we have breath, we will praise the Lord.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 145 Over time, I also took on the responsibility of caring for my mother, who had dementia. She eventually came to live with us, and I witnessed the progression of this debilitating disease until it claimed her life. I was present at the moment of her passing. Despite the challenges of coordinating caregivers while managing my work responsibilities, I did my best to provide her with the highest level of care possible. She became entirely dependent, and it was difficult to watch her reach a stage where she could no longer eat. While I hope to avoid dementia myself, I am confident that I will receive support if I ever face it. This assurance helps me remain positive, not only regarding dementia but in all aspects of life. I trust that God is with me and, as I have experienced, He watches over me and sustains me through every season. Cancer is a serious illness that claimed the life of my oldest sister, and now my niece is undergoing treatment for it. I continue to pray for her recovery and well-being, lifting her up consistently in prayer. On a few occasions, I have even felt the Holy Spirit upon me while praying for her. I hold on to faith and hope that God will not take her before she has the opportunity to be saved. At this time, she does not identify as a Christian, and I pray that this changes, that she will come to accept Christ into her heart. We cannot control everything, but God can. When we bring our petitions before Him, He hears us. At the same time, life does not always

Heaven’s Threshold Page 146 unfold according to our desires. That is part of life. This world is not where we will spend eternity, and everything has its appointed time. The book of Ecclesiastes reminds us: “To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; A time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; A time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; A time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; A time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to tear, and a time to sew;

Heaven’s Threshold Page 147 A time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; A time of war, and a time of peace.”

Heaven’s Threshold Page 148 CHAPTER 17: DIVINE PATHWAYS: THE JOURNEY TO WHOLENESS f you are seeking a new life and desire to surrender to Jesus Christ, you can sincerely accept the Lord into your heart. When you feel lost, you may pray the sinner’s prayer. The sinner’s prayer is a prayer offered when someone seeks to repent of their sins, ask God for forgiveness, and express belief in the life, death, and saving resurrection of Jesus Christ. It is sometimes also referred to as the “salvation prayer” or “consecration prayer.” Sinner’s Prayer: Lord Jesus, for too long I have kept You out of my life. I know that I am a sinner and that I cannot save myself. No longer will I close the door when I hear You knocking. By faith, I gratefully receive Your gift of salvation. I am ready to trust You as my Lord and Savior. Thank You, Lord Jesus, for coming to earth. I believe You are the Son of God who died on the cross for my sins and rose from the dead on the third day. Thank You for bearing my sins and giving me the gift of eternal life. I believe Your words are true. Come into my heart, Lord Jesus, and be my Savior. Amen. I

Heaven’s Threshold Page 149 This book is my real-life testimony and writing it has been an emotional experience for me. My purpose in sharing this journey is to glorify God, acknowledging His mercy, grace, and presence throughout my life. Over the years, I have experienced a significant transformation, which has given me the opportunity to begin anew. I am no longer in the same place I once was, and I have made meaningful progress in my journey. When my life comes to an end, I will find peace. This transformation has given me a fresh start and a renewed sense of direction, along with a new perspective and a second chance. At one point, I was advised to step back and take a more observant role, trusting that God would guide my path, “He would drive Cinderella home,” as it was described to me. I also heard the words, “I am Alpha and Omega.” In that moment, I was told not to resist or “hurt” what God was doing in my life. I asked God whether He would continue to reveal Himself to me in the same way after the end of the three-year period, and He responded that He would not in that manner, but that He would still make His presence known in other ways. I felt disappointed, yet He was pleased with my response, as it revealed my love for Him. He reminded me that He would continue to guide me through the Holy Spirit, which resides within us. I was also cautioned to be mindful of confusion and deception, and informed that there would be moments of disappointment in my life. My

Heaven’s Threshold Page 150 story is not over, and I have learned to let go and allow God to lead. At times, we can unintentionally get in the way of what God is trying to accomplish in our lives. As I reflect while writing, I remember the guidance I received, to remain still when needed, to trust the process, and to follow as I was led spiritually. God guided me through various people and experiences, shaping my journey step by step. I faced several hardships, but I have managed to overcome many of my difficulties with God, who has saved me multiple times and has consistently been there for me. At times, I did not even recognize His presence until later. As a young child, I often became angry and had tantrums. At times, I even blamed God for what seemed like small or childish matters. Over time, I learned to put away those behaviors. It became important for me to forgive myself and build confidence. I endured challenging situations and often coped by retreating inward. Through this process, I came to understand what I truly desired: complete healing. Although the journey has been gradual, I have experienced many breakthroughs and learned to guard myself against negative influences. I am no longer my own worst enemy. Instead, I have developed a higher perspective and a stronger sense of self-confidence.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 151 Toward the end of this journey, Jesus spoke to me and reminded me that He loves me, and that I needed to believe it. While I was driving, I experienced a moment where I sensed Jesus’ presence strongly. I was told that I could not fail, that I was worthy, and that I had “earned a crown.” I was encouraged to think of Him not only as a Savior, but also as a healer, a comforter, and much more. I was reminded that I was free to be who I am in Him. Scripture affirms this truth. Galatians 3:28 states that there is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for all are one in Christ Jesus. This means that all people are equal in the eyes of God, regardless of race, gender, or social status. The verse also emphasizes the freedom that comes through Christ for those who believe. Jesus also said: “Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” With sincere repentance, forgiveness is available, allowing one to move forward free from past wrongdoing. Repentance involves a true change of heart and behavior.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 152 This is illustrated in the account of the woman caught in adultery. When the Pharisees brought her before Jesus, they sought to test Him by referencing the Mosaic Law, which called for stoning as punishment. However, Jesus did not condemn her. After her accusers left, He told her to go and sin no more. With no one left to condemn her, He did not condemn her either.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 153 CHAPTER 18: THE ENCOUNTER OF THE WOMAN CAUGHT IN ADULTERY STORY ne day, Jesus was openly teaching a crowd in the temple courts. His growing popularity and influence among the people had led to increasing disputes with the local Jewish leaders, among whom were the scribes and Pharisees, who perceived Him as a threat and regularly questioned His authority. As Jesus was instructing the people, the scribes and Pharisees approached Him, bringing forward a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery and casting her in the midst of the crowd. They said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now in the Law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. So, what do You say?” It is clear the Jewish leaders had no intent of exercising righteous justice upon the woman. Instead, they sought to manipulate the situation to trap Jesus and condemn Him along with her. O

Heaven’s Threshold Page 154 According to the Mosaic Law, the penalty for adultery was death by stoning. If Jesus advised the release of the woman, He might be accused of disregarding the Law of Moses. Conversely, if Jesus suggested stoning her, He would be in breach of Roman law, risking the government’s anger and providing the Jewish leaders with a reason to accuse Him. Jesus found Himself in a difficult dilemma. In response to their provocative challenge, Jesus silently bent down and began writing on the ground with His finger. As the scribes and Pharisees continued pressing Him for an answer, Jesus finally stood up and delivered a powerful and convicting statement: “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” This simple declaration shifted the focus from the woman to her accusers. Jesus’ reply impeccably upheld both Roman and Jewish law while revealing the malicious motives of the woman’s detractors. He turned the tables of judgment back on the scribes and Pharisees by highlighting that they, too, were guilty sinners who had violated God’s holy law. By condemning the woman’s sin in public without acknowledging their own wrongdoing, their hypocrisy and self-righteousness were exposed before the crowd. Jesus made it clear to them: they were in no position to judge. Jesus bent down once more and resumed writing on the ground. One after another, the once haughty accusers departed until only Jesus and the woman remained. In contrast to the Pharisees’ indifference toward the

Heaven’s Threshold Page 155 woman’s life and welfare, Jesus now attended to her immediate needs. Instead of condemning her, He offered grace, mercy, and forgiveness. Throughout this journey, Jesus has spoken to me personally. He revealed things about my older children, specific details connected to what they were going through at the time. In several situations, I received clear guidance to prioritize listening to my second-oldest daughter, He even spoke her name, and to spend intentional time with her, simply hanging out and being present. Even during moments when I felt lonely, my children and the spiritual teachings I was receiving carried me forward. At one point, while driving in my car, Jesus told me I had earned a crown. When I reflect on the words spoken to me and the promises written in Scripture, it lifts me out of the funks and depressive episodes that sometimes overtake me. The angels have come to me as friends and guides, adjusting their tone and role to exactly what I needed in the moment. One day, after I had fallen down some stairs, an angel appeared and spoke gently yet firmly: “If you fall, get back up again. Be of good cheer, there is nothing but blue skies ahead.” And that very day, the sky really was clear and bright. This echoed the truth I later found in Proverbs 24:16: “For though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again…”

Heaven’s Threshold Page 156 The angels also gave me insight into the people around me. During this season, God granted me another gift: I asked for total healing. It has not been an instant miracle, but I have made real, measurable progress in my walk with Jesus. Today I feel a deeper, stronger commitment as a Christian. Challenges remain, but I’ve learned to be more mindful and intentional in my prayers. God hears them, and sometimes His plans are better than mine. “Father knows best.” I’ve always been a daydreamer, often imagining myself in different scenarios and roles. I believe this habit grew out of a childhood where I often felt I had little control. Over time, I’ve learned to gently stop those thoughts when they arise, especially when they aren’t helpful or positive. We may be living in the last days, in uncertain and turbulent times, but I am not afraid. It only means Jesus’ return is drawing near. While we remain in this world, it is good to set our hearts on things above and not be shaped solely by earthly concerns. Many who have been to heaven and returned describe it as feeling more like “home” than anything they experienced on Earth. That longing is something Christians carry with hope and anticipation. I’ve also heard testimonies of people seeing their pets in heaven, healthy, joyful, and waiting. My brother lost his beloved dog some time ago, and Jesus gave him a vision

Heaven’s Threshold Page 157 of that same dog, fully healed and restored, waiting for him when his time comes. Our world is changing rapidly. The stage is being set for the events described in Revelation. Scripture instructs us to respect and pray for those in positions of authority. Romans 13:1–2 reminds us: “Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established.” At the same time, Jesus consistently taught humility and service, showing that true leadership seeks the good of others rather than personal gain. In the Book of Revelation, God’s judgments in the last days are ultimately meant to lead people to repentance. Yet even amid severe plagues and calamities, many still refuse to turn back: Revelation 9:20–21, Even after the plagues, people did not repent of their sins. Revelation 16:9, They cursed God instead of repenting. Revelation 16:11, Despite their suffering, they did not repent of their deeds.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 158 Through it all, I hold fast to the promises, the guidance, and the quiet assurance that this journey, with its falls, its healings, and its waiting, is leading somewhere eternal. Revelation 9:20-21: Even after the plagues, people didn't repent of their sins. This highlights the tragic reality that some people will remain unrepentant, even in the face of divine judgment. For believers, it underscores the importance of faithfulness and the responsibility to share the message of repentance. There are those who claim to know God, yet their lives fail to reflect genuine faith and obedience. In Matthew 7:21-23 (NIV), Jesus issues a striking and sobering warning: "Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and, in your name, perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’" This passage is a profound reminder that salvation is not achieved through outward actions or displays of faith alone, but through a genuine relationship with Jesus and living according to God’s will. It calls each of us

Heaven’s Threshold Page 159 to examine the authenticity of our hearts, our faith, and our motivations, ensuring they are deeply rooted in love and obedience to Christ. I am steadfast in my resolve never to be among those Jesus warns about, and I am confident that with everything I have experienced and endured, I will not falter. Yet, as the Bible reveals, there will be others who find themselves in this very place. God truly does care. Although “under the circumstances” is not the best way to describe my connection with God, He forgave me and showed me His care. 1 Peter 5:7 reads: “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” Psalms include several verses regarding broken hearts: Psalms 51:17: "My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise." Psalms 55:22: "Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken." Psalms 147:3: "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 34:18-22 KJV: "The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; And saved such as be of a contrite spirit."

Heaven’s Threshold Page 160 Psalm 34:18-22 World English Bible: "Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart and saves those who have a crushed spirit." Psalm 34:18-22 Young's Literal Translation: "Near is Jehovah to the broken of heart, And the bruised of spirit He saved." We are all born to make mistakes and God turned me around he did not let me go. James 3:2 “For we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble, he is a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body as well. The only person who ever walked the earth that was perfect is Jesus Christ. God once asked me, “Who do you think you are?” I replied, “Nobody.” Despite this, God sees us as important. The Bible often highlights how God elevates the humble and brings down the proud, reminding us that His ways differ from ours. He reveals what lies within us to correct us, as He disciplines those He loves. Despite my beginnings, God has exalted me and my family. In the New Testament, the theme of the lowly and the exalted reaches its fulfillment in the person and teachings of Jesus Christ. The Beatitudes, found in Matthew 5:3–12, begin with, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” Jesus consistently taught that the kingdom of God belongs to those who are humble and lowly in spirit. The Bible offers promises of God’s kingdom expansion and personal flourishing.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 161 It provides teachings on spiritual growth, financial blessings, and personal development to enhance our relationship with God. Had humanity consistently adhered to divine principles, the world might have experienced greater peace. However, historical evidence shows that humans have often struggled to do so. Colossians 3:1–4 (NIV) “Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.” During a season of intense spiritual boot camp and revival, I felt completely hopeless and ready to give up the fight. Yet in that very low place, God humbled me. He gently guided me back to His Word and showed me that the only way out of the pit was to rise, by surrendering completely and letting Him lead my path. I had become my own worst enemy, trapped in cycles of self-doubt. My enthusiasm had faded, even though God had clearly instructed me at times to demonstrate zeal and passion for Him. Regaining that lost fire became essential. Everything began to shift when I made a deliberate decision to adopt new principles and a renewed perspective. I committed to focusing my heart and mind on “things above” (Colossians 3:2). I pressed into prayer, even on

Heaven’s Threshold Page 162 the hardest days, and actively sought God’s guidance and the support of His people. Through that season, I experienced His protection, forgiveness, and clear direction. A fresh sense of purpose took root in me. My sin was great, but God’s love proved infinitely greater. Even after three years of walking closely with Him, God continues to grant me fresh insight. He has assured me that my prayers are heard. At the same time, He lovingly reminded me to be mindful, to avoid praying for trivial or fleeting things and instead to seek what truly aligns with His heart and eternal purposes. I’m determined to keep growing in these values for the rest of my life: Setting my mind on things above Living hidden with Christ in God Walking in the zeal and purpose He restores Trusting that when Christ appears, I too will appear with Him in glory. When my other sister passed away from complications, I desperately wanted to know if she had made it to heaven. In that moment of deep worry,

Heaven’s Threshold Page 163 I was given a glimpse of her walking beside Jesus on a beach, talking with Him. She was far from perfect, but then again, none of us are. I had been so concerned for her soul, and Jesus gave me this gentle, personal confirmation that brought me peace. I have not received similar glimpses or clear confirmations about my other family members, but I hold onto faith that they are with Him. With my father, I remain uncertain. God once spoke to me about knowing my name, and I still wonder whether He was referring to my dad in that moment, or perhaps to me. I don’t know. I suppose I will simply have to wait and see. Maybe in his final moments he cried out to Jesus, and that cry was enough. If he did not make it, I trust that God will carry us through even that grief. The story of the rich man and Lazarus shows that those in torment still care deeply about warning their loved ones, so they do not end up in the same place. This entire experience, during one of the hardest seasons of my life, became a turning point. What I perceived as divine intervention changed me in a lasting way. It strengthened my conviction that a higher power can bring about outcomes that seem utterly impossible from a human perspective. It was extraordinary and deeply remarkable. During that encounter, God described Himself as a “Big God.” He also asked me, “What would you have Me do, write you a love story?” I never answered. At the time I was grieving the loss of my children, and my heart’s

Heaven’s Threshold Page 164 longing was to have that restored in some way. Yet I realize now that my true love story has already unfolded with Jesus. I think of Him always, just as He asked me to. In the years since, I have cherished my grandchildren and joyfully welcomed those born later into the family. Nothing is impossible for Him. He shows mercy to whom He chooses. What still amazes me most is that God didn’t merely let me feel these things in passing, He came to me in such a powerful, personal way. Yes, I still struggle at times. Of course I do. But not like I once did. I carry far more confidence in myself now, along with a clearer sense of purpose. Life is still not perfect, but my life is so much fuller and steadier with God in it. I once asked God, “Will I ever be pleasing to You?” He answered, “Yes, when you get older.” Now, I feel I’ve reached that point in life. I still remember every word He spoke to me, even the difficult ones, because God is always about truth. He told me I needed to be more appreciative of what He had given me. Looking back, I may not have shown that gratitude well at the time. Today, I am deeply grateful for His kindness, His help, and especially His patience with me. Despite His high status as the Almighty, He came to my aid when I needed it most. He gave me a break, a grace, that made everything okay.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 165 God also warned me that I would face disappointments at times. When those disappointments come, it’s important to remember they are temporary and can be overcome. They remind us of our humanity and that it’s okay to feel vulnerable. Rather than dwelling on the pain, we can choose to look for the silver linings and the strength we gain through them. Embracing disappointment helps us build resilience, adapt to change, and grow into more compassionate, understanding people. On a brighter note, every setback can become a steppingstone toward something greater. Disappointments often serve as catalysts, urging us to reevaluate our goals and explore new paths we might never have considered. By holding onto a positive outlook and learning from these moments, we transform challenges into opportunities for real personal and spiritual growth. In the words of Helen Keller, “Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.” Let us embrace the journey, trusting that even amid disappointment, hope always remains for a brighter, more fulfilling future.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 166 CHAPTER 19: BEATITUDES his journey, once shrouded in uncertainty, is now guided by unwavering faith. What felt like aimless wandering through a wilderness has become a purposeful path, illuminated by trust and hope. As I press forward, I cling to the promises of Christ, especially the profound blessings He proclaimed in His Sermon on the Mount, timeless truths that form the bedrock of my faith. These words not only strengthen the soul but anchor us firmly in God’s Word, reminding us of His unfailing promises. Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. When I felt utterly empty, I discovered true fullness in Him. Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. In my deepest sorrow, I experienced God’s constant, unwavering presence. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. I’ve learned that real strength lies in surrender, not in endless striving. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. My soul longs for His truth, and He faithfully provides. T

Heaven’s Threshold Page 167 Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. Grace extended becomes grace returned. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. The nearer I draw to Him, the clearer His presence becomes. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God. In a divided world, I choose the path of reconciliation. Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Even amid trials, I stand firm, confident that my reward is eternal. (Matthew 5:3–12, Sermon on the Mount)

Heaven’s Threshold Page 168 CHAPTER 20: MISTAKES WE MAKE very life begins with innocence, a blank canvas untouched by the weight of regret or the sharp edges of experience. We step into the world with wide eyes, unburdened by the consequences of choices yet to be made. But innocence is fleeting. It is tested, worn down, and eventually shaped by the lessons that only mistakes can teach. I have made my share of mistakes. Some were born from impulsivity, others from ignorance, and a few from misguided intentions. They were the wrong turns on roads I thought were straight, the words I spoke when silence would have been wiser, the opportunities I let slip through my fingers while chasing illusions. Each mistake carved a mark into the timeline of my life, shaping the person I would become. Regret arrived uninvited, settling into the spaces between my thoughts and weighing down my spirit with the heaviness of what could have been. It whispered reminders of past failures, replayed moments I wished to undo, and held up a mirror reflecting a version of myself I struggled to accept. But regret, though persistent, does not have the final word. Mistakes are not the end. They are merely chapters, moments in an evolving story that continues to unfold. Some chapters are filled with E

Heaven’s Threshold Page 169 struggle, others with sorrow, but within them lies growth. With every failure, fear crept in, urging hesitation and planting doubt. Yet alongside fear, wisdom emerged, forged in the fire of experience. It taught resilience, patience, and the courage to move forward despite the weight of past missteps. Growth is painful. It demands reckoning, reflection, and the willingness to change. It forces us to confront our shortcomings, to redefine who we are, and to rebuild ourselves anew. But transformation is the gift that follows, a testament to the strength found in vulnerability, in learning, and in persistence. The pages ahead are unwritten, waiting for the choices I will make, the lessons I will learn, and the stories I will create. And now, I write them with intention, not guided by regret, but by the wisdom born from every mistake that has shaped me.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 170 EPILOGUE he journey of my life has been long and arduous, peppered with moments of despair and fleeting glimpses of hope. Yet, as I stood at the threshold of my new beginning, I couldn’t help but marvel at the tapestry of life that had been woven from the threads of my hardships. Years of struggle had tested my spirit in ways I never imagined. Each challenge had felt like an insurmountable wall, blocking my path forward. Yet, in the darkest of times, when hope seemed nothing but a distant star, something extraordinary happened. I felt a presence, a gentle yet profound whisper that guided my steps and soothed my heart. It was a spiritual awakening, a connection to a force greater than myself that brought clarity and strength. This divine intervention came at a time when I needed it most, illuminating the path ahead with a light that cut through the fog of uncertainty. Looking back, I realized that every hardship had been a steppingstone, each one preparing me for the next chapter of my life. The lessons learned from these trials were invaluable, shaping me into the more resilient and compassionate person I have become. It wasn’t just the triumphs that defined my journey, but the moments of vulnerability and the wisdom gained from them. T

Heaven’s Threshold Page 171 As I embrace my future with open arms, I know that the divine presence of God that I have felt will continue to be my guide. It has been a beacon of hope during my darkest days and will remain a source of strength and inspiration as I continue to move forward. My story is a testament to the power of faith and the transformative impact of spiritual experiences. Closing Reflection This newfound sense of purpose has filled me with gratitude for every challenge I have faced and every tear I have shed, for they have all been part of a greater plan. My journey is ongoing; yet, with the guidance of divine light, I am prepared to face future challenges with courage and grace, secure in the knowledge that I am forgiven. During a unique encounter, God communicated even the smallest personal details to me. I feel compelled to share my story in hopes of inspiring others. As I conclude, I wish to end with scriptures from the Bible. Here is a beautiful blend of biblical prayers and verses that echo hope, grace, mercy, and prayer: Hope: "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." (Romans 15:13)

Heaven’s Threshold Page 172 Grace: "Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." (Hebrews 4:16) Mercy: "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." (Lamentations 3:22-23) Prayer for All: "The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord makes His face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace." (Numbers 6:24-26) You might feel inspired to weave these together into a heartfelt prayer of your own or simply let their words uplift your spirit. Lift up a hallelujah even as the storm rages. Our battle isn't against flesh and blood, but we stand firm, wielding the Word, the sword of the Spirit.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 173 REFERENCES Harty, E. (2021, July 13). The seven demons of Mary Magdalene...and us. The Table. Jeremiah, D. (2023). Walking with Jesus. Turning Point. Klett, L. M. (2018). Billy Graham on why Christians should avoid today's demonic witchcraft. Article. New King James Version. (1982). The Holy Bible, New King James Version. Thomas Nelson. Testing spirits. (n.d.). Bible Knowing Jesus. https://bible.knowing- jesus.com/topics/Testing-Spirits Wycliffe, J. D., Forshall, J., & Madden, F. (1982). The Holy Bible. http://ci.nii.ac.jp/ncid/BA03095415 Zondervan. (1994). KJV Reference Bible: Introductions and outlines of the books of the Bible. Zondervan.

Heaven’s Threshold Page 174 A Book of Hope I once wandered without a clear path, feeling lost in uncertainty. But now, I have found my place, welcomed, embraced, and eternally adopted into God’s family. My journey has been transformed from doubt into unwavering faith, and I now stand firmly in His love. Play the game of life, and win! In our journey through life, we often find ourselves at a crossroads, facing mountains that seem insurmountable. It is in these crucial moments that surrendering to God brings peace, guidance, and strength. The Bible, our ultimate source of wisdom, offers profound insight into the power and beauty of surrendering to God’s will. Surrendering to Him allows us to let go of our worries and trust fully in His divine plan. It is not about giving up control, but about entrusting our lives to a loving God who has our best interests at heart. As Scripture reminds us: “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God, this is your true and proper worship.” Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is, his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

Heaven’s Threshold Page 175 Casting our cares on the Lord is an act of surrender beautifully depicted in Psalm 55:22, which assures us that He will sustain us and never let the righteous be shaken.