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I D E N T I T Y T H E R E C L A I M H E R S E R I E S ✦ P A R T O N E Reclaim Her a guided journal for the woman beneath the masks "I was always her. I just forgot." ✦♥ ♥ empowHERment Hub T H E E M P O W H E R M E N T H U B . C O M IDENTITY & BECOMING
D E F I N I N G T H E B R A N D HERN O U N & I D E N T I T Y ✦ H E R The most intentional, unbothered, fully realized version of yourself. She'sthe womanwhowalksintoaroomandownsit.Notbecauseshe'sloud. Because she's settled.Sheknowsherworth.Sheknowshermind.Shemoves through the worldwithaquiet,unshakeableconfidencethatdoesn'tneed anyone else'sapprovaltoexist. Think of it this way: "I'm that woman." Butintentional. Earned.Unbothered in the most deliberate way. This isn't arroganceand it isn'tperformance. It's just a woman who finally stopped apologizing for takingupspace. HER isn't who you're trying to become. She's who you already are,underneath the exhaustion, the doubt, the roles, and the noise. She's beenwaiting. She's not going anywhere. And she's done being last on her ownlist. Not perfect. Not finished. Just fully, unapologetically herself. IDENTITY & BECOMING ✦ HER ✦ DEFINED ✦
IDENTITY & BECOMING E M P O W H E R M E N T H U B ✦ R E A D T H I S F I R S T Before you begin Ifyou're holding this book, somethinginyou saidyes. Something tired. Something quiet. Something that's been waiting on you a long time. Trust that. I'm not going to lie to you. This book is going to be uncomfortable. I'm telling you that up front in case you came here expecting something cute and cuddly. This isn't that book. But I'm not going to leave you in it alone either. It's going to ask you questions you've been avoiding for years. It might make you cry. It might make you angry. It might pull up things you swore you'd buried. That's not a flaw. That's exactly how it's supposed to work. The discomfort is where she lives, the woman you've been hiding away from yourself. Here's what I need you to understand before you turn another page: you cannot read your way out of this. You cannot skim it. You cannot bookmark it for later. This book only works if you do the work. Out loud. On the page. With your hand and your truth and your tears if they come. Every part of you that you buried because someone made you feel like she was too much, or not enough, or wrong, or shameful, or unloveable. She's still in there. And she's been waiting on you to come back for her. With love and zero fluff, ✦ INTRODUCTION ✦
IDENTITY & BECOMING Digital: Open in your browser to fill in prompts on screen. PDF: Use in GoodNotes, Notability, Xodo, or Adobe. Printable: Print on standard paper to write by hand. H O W T O U S E T H I S B O O K The rules of reclamation This isn't a book you read. It's a book you do. Here's how: ✦ THE 5 RULES ✦Be alone with it. Find a space where no one will interrupt you. Lock the door if you have to. This work is sacred and private. ✦Write by hand if you can. Something in your nervous system listens differently when you write versus type. ✦Don't edit yourself. Misspell words. Curse. Cry on the page. Let her speak first. Edit never. ✦Move slow. One chapter per sitting at most. Don't rush her. She's been quiet a long time. ✦Don't quit at the hard part. If a prompt makes you want to close the book, open it wider. That's where she lives. ✦ A NOTE ON WELLNESS ✦ I am not a therapist, doctor, or licensed mental health professional. This book is not intended to diagnose, treat, or replace clinical care of any kind. It is intended for personal reflection and use only. If something brings up something heavier than you can hold alone, please reach out to a therapist, counselor, or trusted person. There is no shame in asking for help. ✦ THREE WAYS TO USE THIS BOOK ✦ ✦ HOW TO USE ✦
IDENTITY & BECOMING C H A P T E R ONE I The Mirror Five minutes. Don't look away. ✦ ♥ ✦ CHAPTER 1 ✦ THE MIRROR ✦
IDENTITY & BECOMING C H A P T E R O N E ✦ T H E M I R R O R Look at HER Five minutes. Stand in the mirror. Look at your reflection staring back at you. Look at HER. Do you recognize the woman staring back? Not just physically. Go deeper than that. Look in your eyes. The actual eyes. Not the makeup, not the lashes, not the tired skin underneath. Just the eyes. The part of you that's been watching the whole time. The part of you that knows everything. Most women can't hold their own eye contact in the mirror for thirty seconds. We've been taught to look at ourselves through everyone else's eyes. What does he think of how I look? What will they say? Am I too much? Am I enough? Today we're going to. And it's going to be uncomfortable. Stay in it. You can do this. ✦ CHAPTER 1 ✦ THE MIRROR ✦
IDENTITY & BECOMING ✦ REFLECTION 1 ✦ REFLECTION 2 C H A P T E R 1 ✦ T H E M I R R O R What did you feel when you looked at her? Write everything. Don't filter. What's the first thing you wanted to fix or change about her? Why? ✦ CHAPTER 1 ✦ THE MIRROR ✦
IDENTITY & BECOMING ✦ REFLECTION 3 ✦ THE HARDEST ONE C H A P T E R 1 ✦ T H E M I R R O R When was the last time you looked at her with love? When did you stop seeing her clearly? What happened? ✦ CHAPTER 1 ✦ THE MIRROR ✦
IDENTITY & BECOMING She has been there the whole time. You just stopped looking. ✦ END OF CHAPTER ONE ✦
IDENTITY & BECOMING C H A P T E R TWO II The Masks Who are you when no one is watching. ✦ ♥ ✦ CHAPTER 2 ✦ THE MASKS ✦
IDENTITY & BECOMING C H A P T E R T W O ✦ T H E M A S K S The masks come off When you lay quietly alone, and that little voice creeps up and replays every interaction you had that day. Who is that person? That's her. By now, most of us have been so many different people for so many different rooms that we don't know which one is real anymore. The professional one. The fun one. The strong one. The agreeable one. The unbothered one. The grateful one. The 'I'm fine' one. None of them is her. All of them are her. That's the cruelty of it. You didn't put on the masks because you wanted to. You put them on because someone, somewhere, taught you that the real version of you wasn't enough, or it was too much. This chapter is about naming every single one. Out loud. On the page. ✦ CHAPTER 2 ✦ THE MASKS ✦
IDENTITY & BECOMING ✦ REFLECTION 1 ✦ REFLECTION 2 C H A P T E R 2 ✦ T H E M A S K S Who is the version of you that shows up at work? Who shows up around your family? Same one as alone? ✦ CHAPTER 2 ✦ THE MASKS ✦
IDENTITY & BECOMING ✦ REFLECTION 3 ✦ THE HARDEST ONE C H A P T E R 2 ✦ T H E M A S K S Name three masks you've been wearing the longest. Where did each come from? Which mask are you most afraid to take off? What do you think will happen if you do? ✦ CHAPTER 2 ✦ THE MASKS ✦
IDENTITY & BECOMING Every mask was put on because she thought she had to. She doesn't anymore. ✦ END OF CHAPTER TWO ✦
IDENTITY & BECOMING C H A P T E R THREE III The Wounds + Whispers What shaped her. What she's always known. ✦ ♥ ✦ CHAPTER 3 ✦ WOUNDS + WHISPERS ✦
IDENTITY & BECOMING C H A P T E R T H R E E ✦ W O U N D S + W H I S P E R S What shaped her Some of who you are is who you chose to become. And some of who you are is what was done to you before you had a say. This chapter is the heaviest. I'm telling you that up front. We're not doing this to wallow. We're not doing this to relive trauma. We're doing this because you cannot reclaim a woman whose wounds you refuse to look at. She's hiding behind them. I'm not a therapist. I'm a woman whose ADHD brain woke her up at 3am one night because the weight of her emotions wouldn't let her rest. If something here brings up something heavier than you can hold alone, please reach out. A therapist. A counselor. A trusted friend. Naming wounds on a page is a beautiful start. Healing them often takes a hand to hold. ✦ CHAPTER 3 ✦ WOUNDS + WHISPERS ✦
IDENTITY & BECOMING ✦ REFLECTION 1 ✦ REFLECTION 2 C H A P T E R 3 ✦ W O U N D S What did you learn about love from those who raised you? Earliest memory of someone making you feel too much, or not enough? ✦ CHAPTER 3 ✦ THE WOUNDS ✦
IDENTITY & BECOMING ✦ REFLECTION 3 ✦ SAY IT OUT LOUD C H A P T E R 3 ✦ W H I S P E R S If I'm being completely honest with myself, I am _____. What's the dream you keep having about your life that you've been too scared to say out loud? ✦ CHAPTER 3 ✦ WOUNDS + WHISPERS ✦
IDENTITY & BECOMING She has always been there. Quiet. Patient. Waiting. You can let her speak now. ✦ END OF CHAPTER THREE ✦
IDENTITY & BECOMING C H A P T E R FOUR IV The Truth Naming who she actually is, underneath everything. ✦ ♥ ✦ CHAPTER 4 ✦ THE TRUTH ✦
IDENTITY & BECOMING C H A P T E R F O U R ✦ T H E T R U T H Meet HER If the masks are off and the wounds are named and the whispers are out loud, what's left? Her. Just her. The version of you that existed before anyone told you who to be. The version of you that's been waiting under all of it. I'm not asking about the version that performs. I'm not asking about the one that's exhausted. I'm asking about the actual you. What does she love? What does she want? What does her actual voice sound like? Hers. We're done apologizing for her. We're done shrinking her. This is the chapter where we tell the truth. ✦ CHAPTER 4 ✦ THE TRUTH ✦
IDENTITY & BECOMING ✦ REFLECTION 1 ✦ REFLECTION 2 C H A P T E R 4 ✦ T H E T R U T H Describe yourself in three honest words. Not impressive ones. Honest ones. When you strip away everyone else's expectations, what do you actually love? ✦ CHAPTER 4 ✦ THE TRUTH ✦
IDENTITY & BECOMING ✦ THE TRUTH ✦ REFLECTION 3 C H A P T E R 4 ✦ T H E T R U T H Finish this sentence: 'The truth about me is...' What are you actually good at? Not 'good enough.' Actually good. Brag here. ✦ CHAPTER 4 ✦ THE TRUTH ✦
IDENTITY & BECOMING She was never the problem. She was the answer the whole time. ✦ END OF CHAPTER FOUR ✦
IDENTITY & BECOMING C H A P T E R FIVE V The Reclamation She's coming home. ✦ ♥ ✦ CHAPTER 5 ✦ THE RECLAMATION ✦
IDENTITY & BECOMING C H A P T E R F I V E ✦ T H E R E C L A M A T I O N Welcome her home You've looked. You've named. You've grieved. You've remembered. Now we close the loop. Reclamation isn't a feeling. It's a decision. A decision you make once, and then you keep making, every day, in small ways and big ones. From this page on, you're not abandoning her again. You're not putting the masks back on for someone else's comfort. She's allowed to be here now. The next book, Rebuild HER, is about what you do with her once you've gotten her back. Rebuilding her mindset. Rebuilding her confidence. Rebuilding her goals. The work that comes after the remembering. But none of that matters if she's still hiding. So we end Book One the only way it makes sense to end. You name her. You declare her. You sign for her. ✦ CHAPTER 5 ✦ THE RECLAMATION ✦
IDENTITY & BECOMING ✦ THE DECLARATION OF RECLAMATION ✦ I am HER I, _________________________, dosolemnly takeher back. I see her. I see the woman beneath the masks. I see the woman behind the wounds. I see the woman the world tried to make me forget. And I will not forget her again. I release every version of myself that was built for someone else's comfort. I will no longer apologize for her. I name her now: she is _________________________________________. She wants _________________________________________. And from this day forward, she is allowed to want it out loud. I will speak to her with kindness. I will defend her. I will take up the space she was meant to take. I will stop making myself smaller for people who are not paying my bills, raising my children, or holding my hand when it matters. She is mine. She has always been mine. And I am bringing her home.S I G N E D ✦ H E R D A T E signature month / day / year ✦ DECLARATION OF RECLAMATION ✦
✦ END OF BOOK ONE ✦ She's back You did the work. ♥ That puts you in a small group of women. The ones who didn't quit when it got uncomfortable. The ones who looked at her and didn't look away. What you've done in these pages cannot be undone. You know her now. And that changes everything. But knowing her isn't the destination. Rebuilding her is. Reclaim HER. Rebuild HER. Be HER.✦ ✦ ✦ PART TWO ✦ COMING NEXT Rebuild HERMindset. Confidence. Goals. "Rebuilding the woman I lost." empowHERment Hub ✦ theempowhermenthub.com IDENTITY & BECOMING