AYAH ONCE SAID...ELS 304 PROFESSIONAL COMMUNICATION EXERCISE ELS 304 MUNSYI MUHAMMAD BIN AMINUDDIN
01APPRECIATION PROJECT BACKGROUND 02 TABLE OF CONTENT 3 4
03EPISODES CONCLUSION 04EPISODE 1: THE FOUNDATION OF OAK EPISODE 2: THE PROVIDER’S BURDEN EPISODE 3: THE EMOTIONAL RESTRICTION EPISODE 4: THE GENERATIONAL SHADOW EPISODE 5: THE VULNERABILITY & THE FUTURE REFERENCES 055 - 9 10 11
The author would like to express sincere appreciation and gratitude to the supervisor, Ms. Nur Sherina Binti Zainal Abidin for her continuous and unwavering support throughout the process of completing this final year project. The author would also like to express his gratitude towards the interviewees that are willing to be part of this great project, together with his friends, family and his beloved support system. Lastly, the author would like to greatly thank himself for completing this project despite facing problems that are unbearable to some. Thank you. APPRECIATION 3
“Ayah Once Said…” is a digital content study that studies the Sturdy Oak Theory, coined by David and Brannon (1976). This theory describes how society forces men to be a “sturdy oak”, where men must become emotionally stoic, silent, invulnerable, and the sole pillar of strength for their family. In contrast to the existing studies that were frequently examined how this pressure affects sons, this final year project explores the emotional gap by documenting father’s perspective on vulnerability, mental health, and parental care through a digital multimedia narrative and brand identity. This digital content study is being held across multiple states to highlight the diversity of Malaysian fathers’ responses towards this generational trauma. This initiative is to offer families practical tools for easing generational stoicism and rebuilding the connection between children and paternal figures. BACKGROUND PROJECT 4
We asked Mr. Hans whether is more important for a father to be respected or approachable. Getting respect doesn’t means that people close to you. Just because people respect you, doesn’t means that they’re close to you. But, if you’re approachable, it means that people will be close to you. Mr. Solihin Mr. Hazman Mr. Hans Mr. Aidit We asked Mr. Solihin what is the number 1 sign of a succesfsul men. What makes a man successful is when he already achieve everything in his life. Second, is a man who can provide for both his family and parents. We asked Mr. Aidit whether he believes that a man who shows his struggle loses the respect of his family. I don’t think so. If the wife is very understanding, then the wife would not lose respect toward her man. So, if a man shows his struggles, it’s up to woman whether she wants to lose respect towards the man or gain nothing at all.EPISODE 1:A father greatest strength isn’t by his silence, it’s the bond that lets him speak. As a conclusion, we learned that... We asked Mr. Hazman whether he’s being taught that a men should be a pillar that never shakes. As we grow older, we need to show our strong foundation as a pillar to our family because if we don’t show our solid foundation, your children will see it and asked what’s wrong with your father. Show some respect.IN EPISODE 1, WE’LL UNCOVER THE FOUNDATION OF OAK FROM THE FATHERS IN PULAU PINANG.THE FOUNDATION OF OAK Full Video. 5
Mr Zairyll We asked Mr. Zairyll whether if a man loses his job, does he lose his status as a man. No, I don’t think so. There’s a lot of meaning to be a man. Depends on the situation of course. You can be a role model to someone especially your children. We asked Mr. Haziq whether he tells his family when he is tired or just keep it to yourself to avoid looking weak. For me, I don’t tell my family but it is not weak to tell your family that you are tired because it’s what normal people do. We are human being, we are not robot. we can get tired. We asked Mr. David and Ms. Janet whether they feel that their value in the house is mostly tied to what they are bringing to the table. We also asked Mr. David if he could no longer provide his family financially, what would be left of his identity as a father. No, because we work as a couple. It’s a sharing thing because you are in a relationship. So you share everything. The hard times, the good times. It’s a case of working together. ... as you do get older, you do have less money maybe, but you have more time maybe together. Not the money to spend it on sometimes, but you have more time with each other.IN EPISODE 2, WE’LL UNCOVER THE PROVIDER’S BURDEN FROM THE FATHERS IN KUALA LUMPUR.EPISODE 2:Love not only measured by money. Sometimes, moments matter the most. As a conclusion, we learned that... Mr. Zairyll Mr. HaziqTHE PROVIDER’S BURDEN Mr. David & Mrs. Janet Full Video. 6
Mr Zairyll We asked Mr. Zafri why do Malaysian men find it easier to buy their children food than to say "I love you." Because, as a man, sometimes we find it difficult to express our feelings. Maybe because the way we are raised making the majority of men like to keep it to themselves. We asked Mr. Aidil when was the last time he let his children see him cry or feel overwhelmed. All the time. I let my children see me cry everyday because releasing stress with crying always make you feel better. We asked Mr. Fairus whether he feels that "venting" or talking about his problems is a "woman’s trait". We also asked Mr. Fairus what is the one thing he‘s currently worried about that his children have zero idea about. No, I don’t think talking about my problem to somebody else is not a woman’s trait, it’s a true gentleman’s trait because I admit when I have a problem and when I need help and I seek help when the times requires it. About her direction, her future. She just stated working. I’m very worried how she’s handling and balancing her work stress and her life, also her responsibilities to Allah.IN EPISODE 3, WE’LL UNCOVER THE EMOTIONAL RESTRICTION FROM THE FATHERS IN MELAKATHE EMOTIONAL RESTRICTIONEPISODE 3:A father’s care never stops. We are still a kid in their eyes... As a conclusion, we learned that... Mr. Zafri Mr. Aidil Mr. Fairus Full Video. 7
Mr Zairyll We asked Mr. Fizi to describe his father in three words. He ‘s someone who is fierce, strict, and very caring. He’s easily being sympathetic towards other. We asked Mr. Aliff whether if he ever catch himself acting like a strong pillar just because that’s what his father did. Yes, because from my perspective, a man should look strong for other people to make them feel that we are reliable. We asked Mr. Daniel what is the biggest "lie" his father ever told him about what it means to be a man. We also asked Mr. Daniel what is the one "traditional" rule of a man that he want to stop passing down to his son. He once told me that we, men, cannot cry and must act tough. However, everyone has a feeling and to feel sad is a valid reaction for us so I think that’s a normal reaction. I want to break the cycle where people always though that men must work, women must stay home and take care of the child. Because, each role has its own responsibilities. If a women want to work, her income doesn’t need to be used to provide to the family. They can used it for themselves.IN EPISODE 4, WE’LL UNCOVER THE GENERATIONAL SHADOW FROM THE FATHERS IN TERENGGANU THE GENERATIONAL SHADOWEPISODE 4:A son’s freedom begins where a father’s silence ends. Let them be the men that we once desired... As a conclusion, we learned that... Mr. Fizi Mr. Aliff Mr. Daniel Full Video. 8
We asked them whether it feel "dangerous" to show their children that they don't have all the answers to all the question and why. Not at all, because not everyone can give their answer to all the questions. Not all questions have the answers. -Mr. Aminuddin Same goes to me because we need to show the children that we are not able to answer all the question. Sometimes, there’s certain things that we can’t answer so we need to seek it elsewhere. -Mrs. NorliaIN EPISODE 5, WE’LL UNCOVER THE VULNERABILITY AND THE FUTURE FROM BOTH PARENTS PERPECTIVE THE VULNERABILITY & THE FUTUREEPISODE 5:If we compare ourself with other people, we tend to slide from our own path. So, never compare your journey with others... Mr. Aminuddin left a message for teenagers and future parents, We asked them if their son comes to them crying, is their first instinct to comfort him or to tell him to "Be a man" and why. To be a man, because life is not so easy and simple. -Mr. Aminuddin We have to look at the age of the our children. If they’re still a kid, maybe we need to comfort them. When they’re teenagers, then we have to told them to be tougher. We need to teach them to be a man and be strong. -Mrs. NorliaLife is a test. Always be patience. For a muslim, never leave Solat and Quran. InsyaAllah you’ll get there.... Mrs. Norlia also left a message for young adults out there, We asked them whether it’s possible to be both a "Provider" and a "Best Friend" to their children. Possible, because it is our responsibilities. Maybe by being their friend, we are able to help with their emotions or problems. -Mr. Aminuddin Possible and we need to, especially during this era of social media where kids is easily influenced. Without our guidance, it can be troublesome. -Mrs. Norlia Mr. Aminuddin & Mrs. Norlia We asked them if they could rewrite the "Manual Book for Men," what would the very first sentence be and why. A wise men is not always a winner. Because, sometimes when we want to solve a problem in the household among ourselves, we tend to argue or start to debate. To come to a conclusion, we don’t want to know who’s winning the argument. we want to solve the problem so it don’t get worse. -Mrs. Norlia Understand your responsibilities. Each of us has our own responsibilities. We, parents, have to play our role as a parent, children have to play their role as a children. understand your role and responsibilities and life would be easy. We are accountable upon our actions. -Mr. Aminuddin Full Video. 9
CONCLUSION Ayah Once Said... managed to change the Malaysian youth perspectives towards their paternal figures. Additionally, this project not only managed to be a platform for teenagers and young adults to know most fathers' emotional struggles, it also successfully managed to influence the Malaysian youth to break the traditional “Sturdy Oak” cycle by overcoming their fear to show their vulnerability. 10
REFERENCESBitalo, D. W., Piotrowski, K., & Naudé, L. (2024). Fatherhood, manhood, and personhood: South African fathers’ experiences of parental identity development. Journal of Family Studies, 30, 1106 - 1129. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/13229400.2024.2398579 Brannon, R., & David, D. S. (1977) The male sex role: Our culture’s blueprint of manhood, and what it’s done for us lately. In R. Brannon & D. S. David (Eds.), The forty-nine percent majority: The male sex role. Addison-Wesley. file:///C:/Users/victus/Downloads/BrannonDavid-Nichols1977.pdf Riza, Normala, Sukri, Nor Amira Natasya Mohd (2025). Parenting Styles and Communication Quality Between Parents and Children: A Malaysian Perspective. International Journal of Research and Innovation in Social Science, 9(12), https://www.researchgate.net/publication/399283138_Parenting_Styles_and_Communication_Quality_Between_Parents_and_ Children_A_Malaysian_Perspective Sosnowski, M. (2021). Conducting Insightful Market Research. Academic Entrepreneurship for Medical and Health Sciences. https://academicentrepreneurship.pubpub.org/pub/psdorj9y/release/10 Wong, C. Y., Mohamad, M., & Yusof, R. (2023). Precarious manhood and the silent mental health burdens of core breadwinners in urban Malaysia. Journal of Gender and Family Studies, 11(1), 45–62. https://www.msocialsciences.com/index.php/mjssh/article/view/2608 11
THANK YOU.