Something about the First Chaotic Law according to YOUR RULES YOUR REALITY A Course in Miracles ERIK REFNER, SENIOR - FEBRUAR 2026 EBOOK
Erik Refner, senior - February 2026 A Course in Miracles Something about the First Chaotic Law According to YOUR REALITY YOUR RULES EBOOK
Your Rules your Reality, ebook by Erik Refner, senior, Ysnamåla, Sweden, February 2026 Publisher: L. Refner Contact: refner-sn@proton.me Editor: Alfira Saubanova Cover Photo: Unknown artist © 2024 CC BY 4.0 Your Rules your Reality, e-book" may be copied and distributed in accordance with Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International (CC BY-NC 4.0) license. PUBLISHER AND COPYRIGHTS https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0 Erik Refner, senior Originally published as softcover book in 1994, translated from Danish to English by Barbara Tranberg. In relation to the publication of this ebook, the text has been revised and expanded. iii A reprint of the book isn't planned.
v Table of Content ....................................................................................... Preface ....................................................................................................... 1 1 Three Thought Systems 2 A Definition 3 Sin, Guilt and Fear - Especially Sin 4 Is it Possible to Sin? .......................................................................... 5 My Rules - My Defense. Why do I have a defense? 6 Where do our Rules come from? Why shouldn’t we run away from our guilt? .................................. 7 Some Rules ....................................................................................... 8 Your Rules - Your Reality................................................................. 31 9 Everything is Rules - And a little story ............................................... 10 More about Hassan and the Host ..............................................….... 11 When others break my rules .............................................................. 12 When I break my Own Rules ............................................................ 13 When my Rules conflict 47 14 How do we solve the seemingly insoluble Problem of Guilt?................ 15 Summary ............................................................................................ 16 You are who you believe you are ....................................................... 17 Exchanging one rule for a new one 18 The attraction of guilt .......................................................................... 63 19 Affirmations ...................................................................................... 20 Are the workbook lessons Affirmations?............................................ 21 The connection between rules and forgiveness ................................. Table of Content Introduction .............................................................................................. 3 Publisher and Copy Rights ....................................................................... 5 7 9 13 17 23 27 35 39 43 45 53 55 59 61 67 71 73 iii v ............................................................ ................................................................... .............................. ....................................... .................................................................. .....................................................
23 Forgiveness 24 Forgiveness in Brief 25 Forgiveness Ultra-brief ........................................................................... 26 Appendix ............................................................................................... 1. The Simplicity of the Course 2. Why forgiveness? ................................................................................ 3. Common pitfalls studying ACIM ........................................................ 27 References .............................................................................................. 113 22 What keeps me from forgiving? vi .............................................. 81 87............................................................................................. ............................................................................... 109 103 99 93 97 ...........................................................101
1 Preface In A Course in Miracles we all the time meet the term "thought system". This small book is about what a thought system is especially ego's thought system. The ego's thought system is defined as a collection of rules according to which we think, act, live and die. These rules are an ego invention, a defense which according to the egos explanation will protect us against a cruel and revengeful world. The ego's hidden agenda, however, is something quite oppo- site - namely to confirm our belief in sin and guilt for as long we do so we are prisoners in the ego's world. Moreover this booklet gives you the Course's teaching of forgiveness which piece by piece remove these barricades whereby we escape the ego's enslavement. Preface to this e-book edition This electronic edition has been expanded with Chapter 26 "Appendix" containing some of my writings made in connec- tion with workshops hold together with Pernille Kondo. Besides Chapter 25 "Forgiveness Ultra Short" and a few more quotes have been added. Some editorial corrections have been made too.
3 "Your Rules your Reality" is about The Chaotic Laws as described in A Course in Miracles - more specific the first chaotic law which says that we all have our own "truth" which by the way is different from everybody else's "truth". The "laws" of chaos can be brought to light, though never understood. Chaotic laws are hardly meaningful, and therefore out of reason's sphere. The first chaotic law is that the truth is different for everyone. Like all these principles, this one maintains that each is separate and has a different set of thoughts that set him off from others. This principle evolves from the belief there is a hierarchy of illusions; some are more valuable and therefore true. Each one establishes this for himself, and makes it true by his attack on what another values. And this is justified because the values differ, and those who hold them seem to be unlike, and therefore enemies. Readers of this little book have often met me with objections like: "But, if we let go of all our rules we will end up with an unbearable anarchy". Of course we cannot live in this world, in a well-organized society, without rules. Just think what would happen if we skipped all traffic rules. The purpose of this book isn't to teach you (not even encour- age you) to "give a damn in all your rules". If so, it would be a huge misunderstanding. Introduction T-23.II.1. T-23.II.2:1-5
4 bors, countries and dissidents of any kind - only confirms this. Therefore you are not asked to "give a damn in" all your present rules. However, reading this little book you'll hope- fully become aware that they are just rules, something we play because it is practical and no truth what so ever is con- tained in a single one of them. I could very well live my life according to another set of rules - most of the world actually do - if I choose to do so and if I were free of them. Please note: if I were FREE of them. It is absolutely not possible for me to choose this as long as I am unfree and believe that this or that rule - or the totally opposite by the way - is the truth. Therefore this book is about setting you free - not to seek the anarchy. However, rules have a very unfortunate and kind of build-in ability or habit. Once established they do not stay just rules, but become the "truth" and as holders of the truth we force and overpower everyone else to learn and to respect this our - the only truth. Wars and murders on every level - in families, among neigh-
5 1 Three Thought Systems A Course in Miracles tells us that there are three thought systems: 1. One-mindedness 2. Right-mindedness 3. Wrong-mindedness 1. One-mindedness is the world of knowledge where God and His Son dwell in the unity of his Will and His Spirit. One-mindedness, which is a non-dualistic state composed of knowledge and love, is not related to the physical world. Here in the physical world of perception, we choose to per- ceive in one of two modes: the Holy Spirit’s mode or the ego’s mode. In this world we perceive; this must be seen in contrast to God’s World where we know. This means that we have a choice between: right-mindedness and wrong-mindedness. 2. Right-mindedness, is the Course’s term used to designate the part of our split mind that listens to the Holy Spirit,
6 which chooses to follow His instructions of forgiveness and understanding, and 3. Wrong-mindedness, is the ego’s thought system, which is characterized by sin, guilt and fear. The ego is a concrete image that we have made of ourselves. The ego represents a deep and ingrown belief that we have a self that is separate from and independent of God. The ego’s goal is to make us feel guilty ("make bad karma"). As long as we feel guilt, we are dominated by the ego. Karma is normally defined as the sum of our morally good or bad deeds, which a person accumulates during his life. These deeds are regarded as determinate for the persons’ destiny in his next life. The fact that I think a bad thought, or that I act badly makes me feel guilty. This guilt does not come from the individual thought or the individual act in itself, but solely because I perceive them as bad. It is, therefore, not the thoughts or the actions, which give me "bad karma", but simply my percep- tion of my thoughts or my actions. The goal of the Course is to help us move from the ego’s wrong mindedness to the right-mindedness of the Holy Spirit. This means, in essence, that we - through forgiveness - change our perception. When we join with the Holy Spirit through the means of forgiveness, we discover that guilt is our own invention; our guilt is a product of our imagination, which has nothing to do with reality, and it (guilt) can disap- pear into „the nothingness from which it came.“ It is important to notice that both the ego’s wrong-mindedness and the Holy Spirit’s right-mindedness are both perceptions; his means that neither of them can be considered reality or truth. It is important to understand, however, that a perception directed by the Holy Spirit leads us to the Truth or to Reality.
7 2 A Definition For most people it is difficult to imagine or to describe what a thought system is. It is difficult to comprehend what a thought system includes and how it influences them person- ally. Furthermore, it is difficult to understand the power a thought system has or does not have. It can be difficult to ascertain how specific a thought system is, and how deeply embedded the thought system is in the individual conscious- ness. This little book deals with the thought system that we all live by, and think and act upon: the ego’s thought system: wrong- mindedness. It also deals with how we can acquire a more accurate picture of what that thought system actually consists of, and how we can accelerate our progress toward right-mindedness. It is my experience that the easiest way to explain the concept of „thought system“ is to describe it as a set of rules, which we live by and which we think and act according to. Each person has a set of these rules, which composes his own personal gallery of rules. (The common pivotal point around which all these rules rotate is our belief that sin is real.)
8 These rules are not necessarily (and most often are not) logical or consistent. It is a mistake to believe that only simple, uneducated people have illogical and contradictory rules. Everyone does. A thought system is a complete set of rules, which each per- son has constructed or accepted based upon the belief that sin is real. There are only two thought systems, and you demonstrate that you believe one or the other is true all the time. From your demonstration others learn, and so do you. The way out of conflict between two opposing thought systems is clearly to choose one and relinquish the other. If you identify with your thought system, and you cannot escape this, and if you accept two thought systems which are in complete disagreement, peace of mind is impossible. M-in.2:1-3 T-6.V-B.5:1-2
9 3 Sin, Guilt and Fear - Especially Sin As Jesus states in the Course, our only problem in this world, and the reason that we perceive ourselves as being in this physical world, is the belief that sin is real. He explains, moreover, that forgiveness is the only means to heal this belief in sin. The word sin originally stems from an Armenian expression used in archery; it means „to miss the target.“ The word „sin“ has, during the course of time, received an entirely different, religious connotation. Currently, „sin“ is a word that we all like to avoid using, perhaps due to the „negative“ religious connotation that most of us have given it. Since the word „sin“ is a „loaded word,“ I will define it briefly: In the religious sense, the word sin means transgression of a divine law - for example, The Ten Commandments. In a more general, everyday context, it simply means that I believe that I have done something or can do something that can hurt another person. Seen from a more abstract level, I am unable to influence
10 other people by my thoughts or actions. I will deal with this subject in more detail later. The ego’s unholy trinity: sin, guilt and fear function in the following manner: When I believe that I have harmed another person (that I have sinned), it is unavoidable - psychologically speaking, not to feel guilty about what I have done. When I feel guilt, it is equally unavoidable, psychologically speaking, not to feel fear. I will automatically expect the person whom I have hurt to take revenge and do something equally harmful to me or perhaps something even worse. All of our fear stems from this mechanism. Therefore, the only means to do anything about our fear is to do something about our guilt. When we begin to forgive, we automatically derive the „fringe benefit“ that our fear disappears. My belief that sin is real, will moreover result in a desire to find a „just form of punishment,“ which I know will strike me like lightening. Any little unpleasant incident which befalls me thereafter, will cause me to interpret the incident as God’s punishment. If I have „let myself be tempted“ to cheat the tax authorities, then this is of course the reason that I somehow lose money; I lose my wallet; I get a parking ticket; or I am asked to ac- count for my deductions on my tax form, etc. etc. If I have vented my rage at my neighbor, I can be sure it is him taking revenge the next time there is litter on the doormat, garbage in the driveway or a scratch on my car. And the day there is a nail in the rear tire on my bicycle, it is probably be- cause I forgot to pay the bike dealer, last time he repaired it. etc.
11 The ego’s firm belief that sin is real, together with the accom- panying and unavoidable consequence: the fear of punish- ment, are of course utter nonsense from the Holy Spirit’s point of view. In respect to the ego’s belief system, we see how the law of karma fits in. It is, however, not God, the neighbor or the "universe" which „punish“ me. It is myself. Linking events, such as those mentioned above, have the deeper underlying meaning that I have denied God and have made myself into God. A more detailed explanation of this follows.
The ultimate purpose of projection is always to get rid of guilt. The world of bodies is the world of sin, for only if there were a body is sin possible. From sin comes guilt as surely as forgiveness takes all guilt away. T-13.II.1:1 C-4.5:5-6
13 4 Is it Possible to Sin? Jesus tells us in the Course that it is impossible to sin8. In fact he says, we do not have the power to sin. This statement contradicts 2000 years of Christian doctrine. Christian thought is based upon the idea that we are all miserable sinners, who both can and have sinned. Jesus states, furthermore, that our belief in sin is born out of the ego’s complete denial of God. This must be thought provoking, if not downright shocking to the reader with a traditional Christian background. As if this were not enough, Jesus claims that a belief in sin leads to the presumptuous ego belief that it (the ego) has stolen its power from God; as egos, we believe that we have stolen God’s creative power and have made ourselves into our own creator. How is that possible? Jesus explains that sin is something that is unchangeable, something that cannot be modified, and as such will last forever. If change is possible, then it is not a sin but merely an error, which I can change whenever I choose. Therefore, the ego’s interpretation of sin is one which reflects the eternal and unchangeable nature of sin. But if sin were not eternal and unchangeable, then it would not be sin, but an error.
14 The ego’s belief in sin - the belief that you can harm another person - is therefore synonymous with the belief that it is possible for an ordinary human being to create something eternal and immutable. It is indeed presumptuous to imagine that an individual can create on a level with God, as only God is able to create. The ego (which in itself is an erroneous thought) cannot. The „sin“ that the ego has suppressed most deeply and com- pletely is the ego belief that we have separated ourselves from God. The separation, in Christian terminology, is termed „the fall.“ Jesus tells us that „the fall“ never happened in reality. We are still, right here and now at home in God, whom we have never left. We have merely fallen asleep and are dreaming that we have committed an offense against our father. Nothing has happened. How could an individual, an ego, change God’s eternal and immutable Reality even one little bit? How could a power exist beyond the Almighty? Such a thought would be madness, an error which has changed and can change nothing. Literally speaking, it is only our belief in our imagined sin, the belief „that we have committed an offense against God and have separated ourselves from Him,“ that needs to be healed. The Course calls this healing the Atonement. We „act out“ our presumed sin in an innumerable number of disguised ways here in the world of the ego. We act out our „sin“ with ourselves, with our family and with our friends. In short, we act out our presumed sin with everyone we perceive as being outside ourselves in the world.
15 Only when we discover the ego’s "game" of guilt, do we realize that there is another way. Only then, can we do some- thing about it. Then we can choose to remove guilt rather than accumulate guilt. The ego’s entire existence is built upon its belief in sin. Guilt is the fuel which nourishes sin just as oxygen nourishes a fire.
It is essential that error be not confused with sin, and it is this distinction that makes salvation possible. For error can be corrected, and the wrong made right. But sin, were it possible, would be irreversible. The belief in sin is necessarily based on the firm conviction that minds, not bodies, can attack. And thus the mind is guilty, and will forever so remain unless a mind not part of it can give it absolution. Sin calls for punishment as error for correction, and the belief that punishment is correction is clearly insane. 16 T-19.II.1:1-6
17 5 My Rules - My Defense Back to the rules: The ego’s purpose in building up a thought system or a set of rules is, as already mentioned, to keep us in a state of guilt. As long as we are in a state of guilt, we are in the ego’s power. It is therefore a necessary precondition for ego exist- ence that we feel guilt. The ego tells us that we are weak, lonely, vulnerable, and Godforsaken beings. The ego expounds further that we live in an ugly and wicked world that wants to attack and injure us. The ego then relates that it will give us a foolproof solution to the problem, a solution that we cannot reject. We have to build a defense against this ugly and wicked world, because obviously the world does not wish us well. It is for this reason that we build a set of rules like an arsenal, Why do I have a Defense?
18 a huge fortress, to protect ourselves against the outer world. We use the rules as a defense against a world, which we consider to be outside ourselves. It is important to understand, that: 1. Every rule is a defense. In the ego’s eager desire to help, it „forgets“ to tell us that: 2. Every defense is an attack.38 Every time we openly or covertly attack (defend ourselves), we increase our guilt. Therefore: 3. Attack gives me guilt. Since rules are a defense (1), and since each defense is an attack (2), then the logical conclusion is, that: Rules are an attack! Since each attack gives me guilt(3), the logical conclusion here is, that: Every rule gives me guilt. This is a basic quality related to each rule that we cherish. Therefore, rules are breeding grounds for our guilt. The mere presence of a rule brings with it a latent form of guilt. Nor- mally we do not perceive this guilt. But whenever we find ourselves in a situation, where one of our rules is broken, or where our own rules are conflicting, then guilt pops out of its hiding place. Jesus says in the Course, that ultimately we must understand that there is nothing outside ourselves (outside our own minds). This is perhaps easier to understand when we dis- cover that we have made a fortress of rules around ourselves
19 that function like a thick armored plate glass wall. Through this wall we can only see shadows or vague outlines of some- thing. We interpret what we see according to our own rules. What we see, therefore, is a composite of our own rules, or in other words we see ourselves. What are we defending ourselves against? Our deepest line of defense protects us from the memory of God, His peace and His Love. Such a thought can seem both strange and illogical, especially when seen in the light of the fact that God’s Love and Peace are all that I profess to want. However, our greatest „sin“ is that we believe we have hurt God, stolen his power, and have separated from Him. As we have already seen, the idea of sin brings with it the fear of „just punishment,“ which will descend upon us at some point in time. Since our deepest „sin“ stems from our belief that we have separated ourselves from God, then God automatically becomes our greatest and most horrifying fear. Jesus tells us that the Course does not deal with love, but with finding and removing the blocks to love13, which we have placed between ourselves and God and His Love. As we will see later, our rules are such a block - and when we dem- onstrate a willingness to remove the barrier (the rule), then we are joined with love. We all have a memory of God, which is deeply buried in the recesses of our mind. So deeply is this memory buried, that it represents the utmost instance of psychological repression in each individual on earth. The cause of this repression is our belief that sin is real and that we have sinned against God. This repressed memory of God is the most terrifying weapon
20 in the ego’s arsenal of weapons; it is the trump card hidden up the ego’s sleeve, hidden until the day when we begin to discover the illusion that separates us from God. The ego then changes in one felt swoop from denial of God to fear of God. The ego begins to threaten us with an image of a God, who will shower misfortunes upon us if we do not do "this or that." It is important to grasp, that we need our defenses here in the physical world as long as we perceive ourselves as egos. No one can leave all his defenses behind all at once; this would confront us with all our guilt, including the guilt we feel because we believe we have separated from God. It is ex- tremely important to be patient with ourselves, and to accept ourselves, and to remove our defenses at a speed that corre- sponds to our degree of trust in Jesus and the Holy Spirit. In light of the fact that every defense is an attack, it is inter- esting to note the example which Jesus offers. An under- standing of the process gives the events a completely new and different meaning. Jesus never defended himself with one single word at any time during his arrest, his imprisonment, his trial, after the sentence on his life was passed or his crucifixion. Jesus has been considered by many to be the victim of an evil world. Nothing could be further from the truth, however, as Jesus knew that the world, and its concept of guilt were illusions. Since Jesus, at that point in his life, was about to let go of the remainder of his ego, he was simply unable to defend himself against the charges raised against him.
21 If he had defended himself, he would have attacked his „op- ponents.“ He simply did not see an opponent or an attack. He did not have any guilt, and therefore he could not attack. He saw only brothers who were guiltless as he was.
The Son of God can be mistaken; he can deceive himself; he can even turn the power of his mind against himself. But he cannot sin. There is nothing he can do that would really change his reality in any way, nor make him really guilty. That is what sin would do, for such is its purpose. Yet for all the wild insanity inherent in the whole idea of sin, it is impossible. For the wages of sin is death, and how can the immortal die? T-19.II.3:1-6 22
23 6 Where do our Rules come from? Throughout our childhood, we are influenced by parents, teachers, other children, etc. Each person finds a set of rules which are suitable for his disposition and personality. Most of these rules are completely unconscious. During our childhood, we gradually learn how to behave, and how to react in different life situations, what to say to differ- ent people, which religious, political and social attitudes to accept etc. In this context, it is important to understand that we do not come to this world as „innocent lambs.“ If we were innocent lambs, then our „buttons“ would not get pushed, nor would we be influenced at all when other people try to project their guilt upon us. Why shouldn't we run away from our Guilt?
24 Moreover, if we were innocent lambs, we would, quite sim- ply, not be here. It is solely because we believe that sin is real, that we return again and again to the physical world. Everyone comes to the world with an innate or accompanying sense of guilt, an inherent belief that sin is real, or in other words - a karmic inheritance. It is not uncommon - even among people who work with the Course, to meet the idea that we come to the world without guilt. As has been mentioned several times, Jesus tells us in the Course that our only problem, and the only reason that we perceive ourselves as being in the world, is our belief that sin (guilt) is real.7 Jesus tells us also that we are innocent, that we are as God created us, that we are love. In the Course (just as in the Gospels) Jesus distinguishes between two different levels: Level 1 which teaches that we, in reality, are still at home in God. Level 2 which deals with the physical world.I If I maintain that I have come to the physical world without guilt, then I make the mistake that Jesus calls confusion of levels.34 In that case, I completely lose sight of the Course’s goal: to remove my perceived guilt through forgiveness. I intentionally write „perceived guilt,“ since guilt does not exist in Reality, but is due solely to my own perception of myself and others. But since I have a deep underlying belief in guilt, it does not do one bit of good to repress the fact that I feel guilty; I am a slave to each repressed thought. Denial or repression of my guilt cannot, as Jesus says, remove it.15 Denial and repression are simply ego tricks, devised to main- tain my guilt. Furthermore, if I claim that I have come to this world without guilt and then I feel guilty anyway (and no one in this world
25 can deny that he does), then „the cause“ of my guilt must lie outside myself. „The cause“ of my guilt must necessarily be you, my mother, my father, the bus driver, etc. This line of thinking is clearly in conflict with the Course’s teachings, since everything I see outside myself is a projec- tion of myself. If I see the cause of my guilt as being outside myself, I will not be able to forgive; forgiveness requires that I let go of any desire to justify my feelings. Any justification of my emotions is an expression of the fact that I am trying to project the guilt outside myself. If I project the guilt outside myself, then „forgiveness“ will be a mere overlooking of the fact that you have harmed me. This is actually the traditional (Christian) meaning of the word forgiveness. The reason for my lack of peace does not lie outside myself. This will be discussed in greater depth later. In the following, we will consider what kind of rules we are running around with. We will look at the „benefits“ we seem to gain from them, and at the price we pay for these seeming benefits. This price can, in fact, be compared to money paid to gangsters for „protection.“
This is the shift that true perception brings: What was projected out is seen within, and there forgiveness lets it disappear. For there the altar to the Son is set, and there his Father is remembered. C-4. 6:1 26
27 7 Some Rules Here is a modest sample of some of the many rules, which together compose a „personal“ thought system. Not all of these rules are necessarily applicable to you (you may have others). I must eat healthy food. I must not go through a red light. I must get some exercise -- it’s healthy. I must not go to bed angry. Enjoy it while it lasts --because it won’t last forever. I must not be lazy or sleep late in the mornings. I must keep my promises. Sweating is disgusting. Smoking is unhealthy. Vegetarian food is healthy. Smart people are never bored. I must not get fat-- fat is ugly. I must not wear shoes indoors. My home must be nice and clean, especially when I have guests. My day must be structured. I must be a nice person. I must not make a spectacle of myself. It’s dangerous to smoke hash. „Brian“ is a lousy name for a kid. Children should be seen and not heard, especially when the grown-ups are talk- ing. I must not ask stupid questions. I will catch a cold if I go outside without warm clothes on. I must not hate my children. Children must not hate their parents or their bothers and sisters. I must not believe that I’m special. I must not swear or use obscenities. I have to make a success out of my life. I must not shout. I must not burp or fart. I must not be dirty, or
28 have dirty nails, or smelly feet or uncombed hair. I must not get angry with nice people. I hate evil people. I’m afraid of people who are different. I may not kill „my enemy.“ I must kill „our enemy,“ if the government requests it. I hate social- ists, fascists and Moslems. I love Americans, Norwegians and some Swedes. Foreigners are parasites on society. Foreign workers steal jobs from „our people.“ Jesus is God’s only son. I enjoy seeing Sadam Hussain get what’s coming to him. I feel worried when the American soldiers get defeated. I feel sad when I see African children dying of hunger. It is Sadam Hussain’s own fault that children in Iraq are dying of hunger and grenades; they deserve it. I must be tolerant. I hate intol- erant people. I must only love certain people in certain ways. I may not have pictures or letters from my ex-girlfriend. I never have enough money. It’s appalling when people don’t pay their debts. It’s OK. to cheat the tax department a little bit. I must have a job; I can’t be happy if I don’t have a job. I must not be a burden to the society. I have to give people something for their money. I’m right. I must not owe anyone anything. I must be consistent. I must not hit anyone who is smaller than myself. It’s not OK. to be happy. Life is no honeymoon. You must give something to get something. I must not brag. I must not be indebted to anyone. I must be perfect. I must not make any mistakes. etc. As is readily seen, most of the rules can be categorized as „do’s“ (you must do) and „don’ts“ (you mustn’t do). One of the „biggies“ under rules for „do’s“ and „don’t“ are rules for sexual behavior. When we look at the rules here for what we may and may not do, they are countless. Not only are the rules here innumerable, but they are the ones that produce the most guilt. Moreover, we have a set of rules for which feelings are per-
29 missible in certain situations. We can call these emotional rules. If this or that happens, then I’ll feel anger, sorrow, hate, joy, happiness or unhappiness, I’ll become nauseous, nervous or worried. etc. In addition, we have rules about what needs are acceptable, which needs we have to fulfill ourselves, and which needs others have to fulfill. Our rules categorize beauty vs. ugliness, which words are „positive“ and which words are „negative,“ and what people are good and what people are bad. We have rules for what we can say to our partner, to our neighbors, to the president, rules for how to behave in certain people’s company, and rules for what clothes to wear. etc. Besides our own personal rules, we have group rules. There are for example cultural and tradition-based rules, religious rules, non-religious rules, and rules for members of various organizations, associations, and societies of one kind or another. There are also social rules, such as the laws of the country or unwritten laws for how to live in peaceful coexistence in the society we belong to. There is nothing more confirming than being a member of a group, which have the same rules as I have. This gives me a feeling of the fact that the rules are right and just. It then becomes a „given“ that the others, „the idiots“ outside the group have not understood anything at all. This more or less conscious mixture of big and small rules makes up our thought system. Since the overriding part of these rules are unconscious, they
30 have the power to command us like robots, which have been programmed by a two-year old. Wrong-mindedness listens to the ego and makes illusions; perceiving sin and justifying anger, and seeing guilt, disease and death as real. Without defenses, you become a light which Heaven gratefully acknowledges to be its own. And it will lead you on in ways appointed for your happiness according to the ancient plan, begun when time was born. C-1.6:1 W-135.20:1-2
31 8 Your Rules - Your Reality Slowly but surely, my rules become my reality, my truth, concerning both myself and the „surrounding world.“ Every- one including myself has to follow my rules. Jesus expresses this thought in the Course in a number of ways. In the workbook, Jesus says that: what we see is a reflection of what we think, and what we think is a reflection of what we have chosen to see.16 Concretely speaking, we choose our own „reality.“ Through- out our entire life, we work hard at getting everything that apparently lies exterior to ourselves to fit into that „reality.“ In this manner, we confirm that we exist and that the world exists, according to our prescribed rules. Although everything that we experience as being „out in the world,“ is a projection of ourselves, most of us manage to convince ourselves that the world exists exterior to ourselves. As already mentioned, the vast majority of our rules are unconscious. Therefore, we do not experience that it is we, who have chosen them. We never question them; we always defend and justify them.
32 Logically speaking, it must follow that if I have rules such as: vegetarian food is healthy; I may not burp at the table; Jesus is the only son of God; etc., I must at least have accepted these rules and adopted them as my own at some point. Per- haps I cannot remember that I have chosen the rule on some level and made it part of my reality. Not only, have I chosen that rule and incorporated it into my reality, but I truly be- lieve that the rule is reality and is truth. Most of us do not have the faintest idea that these ideas represent a choice. The dynamics of choice are as follows: If I realize that I have chosen my rules myself, then I realize that I could have cho- sen other rules, the opposite rules or no rules at all. If this is the case, then I realize that it is impossible for me to be angry or irritated at you; I realize that if our rules are in conflict that then means that I have simply chosen another rule than yours. It is possible to be angry or irritated at another person, solely because we believe that the rules that we have chosen are the truth, the reality. This means in turn, that every time we get angry, or feel even a bit irritated, it is because I have a rule which conflicts with yours, and I am convinced that my rule is reality, the truth. Jesus tells us several places in the Course, that we have to learn to see the difference between truth and untruth. We must understand that which is true is true, and that which is false is false.17 This seems self-evident to most people. Nevertheless, this is the issue at hand. If I were not completely confused about what truth is, then I would never imagine that the truth could be in conflict. When your rule conflicts with mine, and when
33 I become irritated, my experience is that we have conflicting versions of the truth. What this boils down to is that I feel that I possess the truth, and that you have been mislead into illusion. The truth can never be in conflict with itself. If it were, then it could not be the truth. I must be aware of this on some level. If truth can be in conflict, then everything becomes absurd. Despite this, every time that I perceive that my rules conflict, or that your rules conflict with mine, I fall prey to illusion. The illusion con- sists of my stubborn insistence, that my rules are the truth, reality. If I did not persist in this, I would not perceive a conflict. Therefore, if I experience a conflict of any sort, then what I experience cannot be the truth. What I experience must be illusion. Like magicians with a severe case of schizophrenia, we do our magic trick with one purpose in mind: we attempt to defend ourselves against the world. We become so involved in our defense, that we forget that the magic number is an illusion. Unfortunately, the only result of this „magic trick“ is guilt. We’ll return to this point later.
34 Knowledge is not the motivation for learning this course. Peace is. This is the prerequisite for knowledge only because those who are in conflict are not peaceful, and peace is the condition of knowledge because it is the condition of the Kingdom. In conflict there can be no answer and no resolution, for its purpose is to make no resolution possible, and to ensure no answer will be plain. A problem set in conflict has no answer, for it is seen in different ways. And what would be an answer from one point of view is not an answer in another light. You are in conflict. T-27.IV.1:1-5 T-8.I.1:1-3
35 9 Everything is Rules - And a little Story Everything in this world is constructed according to sets of rules. There are our own rules, economic rules, religious rules, mathematical rules, and physical rules. To put it briefly, there are rules for everything. For a moment, we can pretend that these rules or „working hypotheses“ are reality. We can use rules as instruments to see where they take us, or to see „how the world looks from that angle.“ When we look at math or physics, it is readily apparent that we are looking at theories. When it comes down to our own rules, it becomes difficult to comprehend that it is only a theory, something that we are pretending is true. I take it deadly seriously that my rules don’t correspond to yours. This point is illustrated in the following story. The story also demonstrates that once I have made a rule into my reality, my truth --come hell or high water -- I must obey the rule. As if this were not enough, I demand that you follow my rule as well.
36 I was once invited to a small dinner party. Besides the hosts and myself, there was a tourist, Hassan, who I think came from Egypt. Hassan had only been in Denmark a short time and did not know the Danish rules of etiquette. There were five courses. For each course, Hassan left half the food on the plate uneaten. In the middle of the fourth course, (after three half full plates had been carried out) the situation had become too much for the host. The host irritably asked Hassan if he didn’t like the food. Hassan seemed confused at first, then amazed; he sat with a fork full of food in his mouth. During the next few minutes Hassan was on the brink of tears. By this time the hosts mild irritation had risen to rage. It seemed like an eternity had passed before Hassan put his fork on his plate. With tears in his eyes, Hassan finally stammered that he really enjoyed the meal. After some further complications and misunderstandings, it turned out that in Hassan’s culture, it was polite to leave food on the plate. It showed that the guest appreciated the host’s wealth and prosperity. In Hassan’s country, it was only the poor who cleaned their plate. Therefore, he did not want to insult the host and his hospitality by eating everything on the plate. For some this story may seem rather comical, even meaning- less. But to the parties involved the situation was deadly serious. The situation arose as the result of two rules:
37 1. The host’s rule: I must not leave food on my plate. That is impolite. 2. Hassan’s rule: I must leave food on my plate. This shows that I am / you are wealthy. In the following, we will see why it is possible for the ego to sell us the idea of rules, and how these rules increase our guilt.
Truth cannot have an opposite. This can not be too often said and thought about. For if what is not true is true as well as what is true, then part of truth is false. And truth has lost its meaning. Nothing but the truth is true, and what is false is false. W-152.3:5-9
39 10 More about Hassan and the Host As already seen, the host’s rule was: I must not leave food on my plate as that is impolite. Hassan’s rule was: I must leave food on my plate; it shows that I am/ you are wealthy. A long time ago, so long ago that the host cannot remember it, the host chose to make this rule into his reality. Perhaps as a child he reasoned that since his parents had that rule, he had better choose that rule as well. He might get scolded or not get his dessert otherwise. Or even worse, he may have rea- soned: my mother and father are angry (they take their love away from me), if I don’t eat everything on my plate. It is not so strange that so many people have trouble with their weight. Presumably just as long ago, and presumably for the same reasons, Hassan chose his parents rule as his reality.
40 It is obvious, that as children, it was a great advantage for both the host and Hassan to adopt their parents’ rules. As long as they did everything their parents asked them to do, everything was just fine; they were not scolded, and they received all the love and attention they wanted. If, however, they broke their parents’ rules, there was hell to pay. Both of them gratefully fell for the ego’s sales pitch. The ego’s sales pitch goes something like this: Make yourself a rule, and make the rule into your reality; your reward will be immeasurable: No one can attack and hurt you. From this we can deduce, that: Rules are a defense against a cruel and ugly world. They protect us (only apparently) so that no one can harm us. As already discussed in chapter 5, every rule brings me guilt. Even the mere presence of a rule in my mind brings with it a latent form of guilt, which arises to the foreground, whenever my rules are in conflict. In the case of „Hassan and his host,“ their rules were in direct conflict with each other. In such instances, it is almost inevi- table that conflict surfaces and becomes open conflict. Since each of them believes that his rule is reality, each reacts according to his subconscious rule. The host flies into a fury and Hassan weeps. Both reactions are an attack on the other party and have the same goal: to blame the other person for their feelings. This is apparent in the following discussion:
41 The Course tells us that anger is a projection of guilt.18 Just before an outbreak of anger, I will (consciously or uncon- sciously) have felt a trace of guilt. Very often anger arises so quickly that I do not discover that I have felt guilty. This is the purpose of anger; if I feel anger then I do not have to feel my guilt, I can keep it hidden. By becoming angry with Hassan, the host attempts to project his guilt onto Hassan. If the host can make Hassan feel guilty, then the host can make believe that he has gotten rid of his guilt. Anger is an attack, and when I attack another person, I will either consciously or unconsciously feel guilty about what I have done. The host believes that he has cast his guilt upon Hassan; in reality, however, he has increased his own guilt. Hassan feels attacked and tries to defend himself by begin- ning to cry. His message to the host is: look how much you have hurt me. It is your fault that I’m crying and that I feel bad. Hassan does exactly the same thing as his host does. What was originally an attempt to defend himself becomes an attack. Hassan tries to blame the host and tries to get rid of his own guilt. When we attack another person, we will consciously or un- consciously feel guilty about it. Hassan has, therefore in- creased his own guilt. The result of this sweet little dinner party was that both Hassan and the host have increased their guilt (karma). Inter- estingly enough, this is the ego’s „hidden agenda.“ We have seen that the rules, as the ego has promoted them, were designed as a defense against the evil world. These very
42 rules, however, have brought the parties in question even more guilt. This guilt will stick to them, until they have forgiven „the incident,“ and on a deeper level, themselves. The „reasoning“ by which the world is made, on which it rests, by which it is maintained, is simply this: „You are the cause of what I do. Your presence justifies my wrath, and you exist and think apart from me. While you attack I must be innocent. And what I suffer from is your attack.“ T-27.VII.3:1-4
43 11 When others break my Rules The example with Hassan, deals with other people breaking my rules. It can seem incomprehensible that I react when other people break my rule. The reason for this, however is very simple, when we consider the ego’s goal with rules. As previously mentioned, the ego’s apparent aim in adopting a set of rules is simply to protect us against an ugly evil world. All rules are therefore a defense against the world. When another person breaks one of my rules, I will feel that it is his intention to break down my defense and that the other person is attacking me. And when another person attacks me, the ego in me reacts „instinctively“ by defending itself. We have seen that this defense is tantamount to an attack. In the case of Hassan and his host, the attacks take two forms: rage and tears. The winner in both cases of attack was: the ego. The reaction that ensues when one person breaks anothers
44 rules is readily visible when we watch the interaction be- tween parent and child. All child raising is based upon the parent’s attempt to teach the child to obey the parent’s rules. Since the parent believes that his rules protect him from an evil world, the parent will naturally do his best to indoctrinate the children with these rules. The parent does this so that the children won’t get into trouble, when they are grown up and on their own. One of the rules, which most children are „saddled with“ is: I must not cry and be „impossible.“ Watching a crying or stubborn child on a bus or a train can be a real „show.“ The parent’s ears turn from pink to beet red. The situation usually ends with a physical or verbal reprimand. The red ears reveal of course that the parent feels guilty because the child has broken the parent’s own rule in public, where everyone can see and hear it. The angry response serves (as we saw before) to project the guilt onto the child. The parent then believes that he can hide his own guilt. The parent feels guilt because the child has broken the parent’s rule; but above and beyond this, the parent feels guilty because he has attacked the child. Moreover, the parent has probably broken an important parental rule that states: I must love my child.
45 12 When I break my Own Rules It is also possible, that I break one of my own rules. In fact, it happens all the time. We’re extremely creative in our at- tempts to fool ourselves into believing that we don’t break our own rules. We’re good at justifying our positions or explaining why the rule does not apply in a particular situa- tion. Or we hasten to explain that there are different rules for parents and children. It is important to realize that the ego’s „hidden agenda“ is that we must feel guilty. Rules are an extremely good ego invention in this respect; they serve the purpose of guilt. If I have a rule which says that I must clean my plate or that I mustn’t clean my plate, or that I must have a job etc., then I will feel guilty when „the situation forces me“ to break the rule. If I have a rule that says that I must have work, then I will feel terribly guilty the day I get fired from my job. Just as the host projected his guilt upon Hassan, the person who gets sacked, will project his guilt onto something or someone: the
46 employer, the government, the unemployment office, the society, his partner, the dog or himself. Jesus tells us in the Course, that the guilt that we project upon ourselves, is the cause of all physical illness.19 The fact that physical illness often is a reaction to unemployment confirms the above. It can indeed be said the ego made its world on sin. Only in such a world could everything be upside down. This is the strange illusion that makes the clouds of guilt seem heavy and impenetrable. The solidness that this world’s foundation seems to have is found in this. For sin has changed creation from an idea of God to an ideal the ego wants; a world it rules, made up of bodies, mindless and capable of complete corruption and decay. If this is a mistake, it can be undone easily by truth. Any mistake can be corrected, if truth be left to judge it. But if the mistake is given the status of truth, to what can it be brought? The „holiness“ of sin is kept in place by just this strange device. As truth it is invio- late, and everything is brought to it for judgment. T-19.II.6:1-10
47 13 When my Rules conflict When we begin to notice our own rules, we also begin to notice how many of them conflict with each other. Whether your rules conflict with mine, or my own rules are in opposition to one another, the result will be conflict. If I have rules that conflict with each other, then I will be in conflict with myself. Such a conflict will inevitably add to my guilt. Let’s look at the issue more closely: The ego's unholy trinity is „sin, guilt and fear.“ Few of us are conscious of this mechanism, but we act „in- stinctively“ according to this mechanism. We don’t even have to think about it, we just do it. This mechanism is of course also true for you: Sin Guilt Fear I will feel guilt and cause I expect your „just“ revenge If I treat you badly/ if I do you an injus- tice I will fear be-
48 You can virtually stake your life on the „just revenge“ aspect. I have a rule that states: If you treat me badly, I’ll get back at you; I’ll take my revenge. I’ll give you what you have coming either openly or secretly. We can regard „sin, guilt and fear“ as the ego’s „Bill of Rights,“ the laws or foundation upon which all other rules rest. Our entire legal system is based upon the mechanisms of sin, guilt and fear. No matter how we look at it, and no matter how we justify it, the system is based upon a type of „just revenge“ against the person who has broken "our rules". Not only legal rules fall into this category. Many other rules can be categorized under the heading of „just revenge“; for example: „An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.“ „He de- serves to get what’s coming to him.“ „He struck the first blow.“ This of course means that it is my natural right to hit him. We all live by these and other similar rules, although we would prefer not to admit it. If you treat me badly, then you also deserve that I treat you badly.“ Not only do you deserve that, I promise you that I’ll find an overt or covert means to take revenge. We are all familiar with the „nice guy’s code of conduct“; the main rule is „I must be a nice person.“ This rule contains within it the seeds for many other rules; these rules all boil down to the fact that we have to act just like everyone else, Sin Guilt Fear If you treat me badly/ if you do me an injustice you will feel guilt and you will fear because you expect my „just“ revenge
49 who is living up to the nice guy code of conduct. If we look at the two rules together, we see: 1. If you treat me badly, then you deserve to have me treat you badly and 2. I have to be a nice person. It should be obvious that most of us walk this earth with terrible feelings of guilt because, as we saw before, we feel guilty when we break one of our own rules. As we saw be- fore, we feel guilty when we break one of our own rules. As if feeling guilty were not enough, we exist in a constant state of inner conflict. The process behind this inner conflict can be seen in the following: If I find myself in a situation where you bother me, I’ll feel that it is my perfect right to get back at you (rule 1). Of course, I must not seek revenge, then I wouldn’t be a nice person (rule 2). To maintain the first rule, I must break the second. As already seen, the consequence of breaking a rule is having a guilty conscience. If, on the other hand, I choose to be a nice person and follow rule 2, then I break rule 1 and will also feel guilt. This is „the perfect ego trap.“ No matter what I do, the result will be guilt. In order to resolve my dilemma, it seems necessary to drop at least one of my rules. But since my rules form my reality and my truth, I’ll normally experience this as a severe inner
50 conflict, feel split on the issue, feel depressed, desperate, irritated. etc. In viewing the example at hand, it’s fairly simple for most of us to see the logic in: „ No matter what I do, it’s wrong.“ Not so many of us, however, have grasped that we have chosen a reality, a truth, which is quite simply grotesque. Furthermore, few of us comprehend that we ourselves have chosen this reality. Since no one enjoys being caught up in inner conflict, we often choose to solve the problem by cutting the Gordian Knot. This means, that we justify to ourselves and to the world around us that we have broken one of our rules. Let’s look at the following example: Another person has caused you trouble, and you have taken revenge. You have thus broken your rule about being a nice person. You may choose one of the following excuses/justification: „He had it coming.“ „He forced me to do it.“ „There was nothing else I could do.“ „If he had only been reasonable.“ What is the underlying message beneath all these excuses? I feel guilty about what I have done, but I don’t want to feel the guilt. I project the guilt onto the „situation.“ Each justification (read: excuse or defense mechanism) re- veals that I feel guilty because I have broken one of my own rules, but that I don’t want to admit it to myself or to others. This type of „problem solving“ is of course not in our best
51 interest. Justification is just another one of the ego’s sly tricks to make us feel guilty. Whenever we try to hide our guilt by projecting onto something or someone else, we do not remove our guilt. In the following chapter, we will look at how to get out of the ego’s mess, and how to let go of our guilt instead of accumu- lating it.
Dreams are chaotic because they are governed by your conflicting wishes, and therefore they have no concern with what is true. They are the best example you could have of how perception can be utilized to substitute illusions for truth. 52 T-18.II.2:1-2
53 14 How do we solve the seemingly insoluble Problem of Guilt? We have gotten ourselves into a seemingly hopeless situation (as seen in the previous chapter): no matter what we do our guilt increases. It is as though „fate“ has put us inside a labyrinth without entrances or exists, and which has narrow paths with walls towering high above us; the walls have been constructed not with bricks but with rules. We cannot crawl over the walls, and there is very little room for movement - it is as though we are constantly propelled forward upon a predetermined route. Blindly, and in a state of exhaustion, we muddle our way through this self-made labyrinth. We hardly notice that we return again and again to the same start position, where nothing changes except that guilt’s „hidden cargo“ has be- come heavier and heavier. We don’t understand anything. We do not fathom that the walls, apparently so massive in nature, are merely constructed of self-made ideas. Little do we real- ize that these walls can be blown, and dissolve into the noth- ingness that they are.
54 There is one way out of the labyrinth. But before we can get out, we have to realize what the problem is. As already men- tioned, the basic problem is our belief that sin is real. It is from this principle that all rules are derived. The next step is willingness to accept „something else.“ To finally solve the problem, we must use the only means to deal with guilt there is: forgiveness. Before we proceed to forgiveness, a short summary is presented. ... everyone identifies himself with his thought system, and every thought system centers on what you believe you are. If you identify with your thought system, and you cannot escape this, and if you accept two thought systems which are in complete disagreement, peace of mind is impossible. T-6.V-B.5:2 T-6.V-B.1:9
55 15 Summary 1. Rules are a defense. Each individual makes his own personal thought system (set of rules), which will protect us, so that no one else can attack us or hurt us. This set of rules is built up around, and is deeply anchored in the ego’s unholy trinity: sin, guilt and fear - our belief that sin is real. The rules that we consciously or unconsciously make, become an inherent part of our exist- ence. We forget that these rules are merely something we have produced ourselves. Instead, we perceive these rules as our reality, our truth. Having done this, we and other people have to obey our rules, come hell or high water. 2. Rules increase our guilt. Rules are an ego invention, which only apparently protect us from the outer world. The ego’s „hidden agenda“ has as its aim to make us feel guilty (create karma). As long as we believe in this guilt, and as long as we feel guilty, we are slaves to the ego’s world. Since rules are a defense, and every defense is an attack, we must conclude that rules are an attack. Since every attack adds to my guilt, the logical conclusion is that: Each rule adds to my guilt!
56 This is the fundamental characteristic of each rule that we cherish. This is why rules can be considered the breeding grounds for our guilt. Normally, we don’t discover this guilt. However, when one of our rules gets broken, the guilt pops out of its hiding place. 3. Rules get broken. Rules appear to be our safeguard against an ugly, evil world. It is impossible to live in a world, without our rules getting broken. This happens all the time in two different ways: 3.a. Your rule and mine conflict. You break my rule. 3.b. My own rules conflict. I break my own rule. 4.When you break my rule, I feel guilty. My rules are my defense against you. This defense pumps me full of latent guilt, which comes alive when my rules conflict with yours. In a conflict like that it will be my experience that you are trying to break down my defense and consequently that you are attacking me. The fact that I perceive that you’re attacking me adds to my guilt since I have seen you as an ego, instead of whom you really are-- Christ. If I perceive that you are attacking me, then I will defend myself, and as we have already seen: every defense, regardless of form, adds to my guilt. . 5. When I break one of my own rules I will feel guilt. It is unavoidable that my own rules conflict at some point. As soon as I experience such a conflict, my latent guilt surfaces. We will experience this as an unbearable inner conflict in which I will „have to sacrifice“ at least one of these conflict- ing rules. When I put aside one of my rules, I will experience
57 that I am letting down my defenses. I will feel vulnerable or open to your attack. If I feel that you are attacking me, the result will be guilt (see number 4). All of my explanations, excuses, my defenses etc. are at- tempts to justify both to myself and to others that I have broken my own rules. This shows clearly that I feel guilty at having broken my own rules and now am hectically trying to find a new rule that I can defend myself with.
If you identify with the ego, you must perceive yourself as guilty. Whenever you respond to your ego you will experience guilt, and you will fear punishment. 58 T-5.V.3:5-6
59 16 You are who you believe you are Up to now we have spoken about the ego, as though it were something outside ourselves, as though it were something we had no control over or no influence upon. However:You are the ego as long as you identify yourself with the body, which you yourself have made, and you are Christ, at the moment in which you identify yourself with the spirit, which God created. The ego is, however, according to Jesus, merely a mistaken thought. It is a belief that we are something which we are not, „a tiny mad idea,“ which has had no influence upon Reality. This idea, however, has powerful consequences for those who believe in it. The „tiny mad idea“ has literally made ourselves and the world we see. As Jesus says in the Course, „forgiveness is our only func- tion“ on this earth. Each time we forgive someone, we take the Holy Spirit’s hand instead of the ego’s hand, and we turn to the Holy Spirit so that he can guide us instead of the ego. Through this process we discover, that we are loved, always
60 have been loved, and always will be loved, and that our imagined „sin“ is nothing other than an erroneous thought. We identify ourselves a moment with our true identity, the Spirit, the Christ, which God created like Himself. Every single forgiveness becomes a „re-decision“ or a „reduc- tion“ of the ego’s wrong-mindedness. This is the process by which we draw closer to the Holy Spirit’s right-mindedness; through this process we can see everything through the eyes of love instead of through the eyes of fear. What you must recognize is that when you do not share a thought system, you are weakening it. Those who believe in it therefore perceive this as an attack on them. This is because everyone identifies himself with his thought system, and every thought system centers on what you believe you are. If the center of the thought system is true, only truth extends from it. But if a lie is at its center, only deception proceeds from it. T-6.V-B.1:7-11
61 17 Exchanging one Rule for a new one When we let go of one rule, it is important that we do not just exchange it for a new one. It is tempting to assume that when one rule or another adds to my guilt, then I can just adopt the opposite rule. This is not the case, however, as every rule brings with it a latent form of guilt. If I discover that I have a rule that says „vegetarian food is healthy,“ and I then realize that it brings me guilt, it does not help to make another rule that states: „vegetarian food is unhealthy,“ or „meat is healthy,“ or any other rule. As we have seen, each new rule is merely a new defense, which of course will also add to my guilt at some point. It is therefore important to allow Jesus or the Holy Spirit to gently „blow“ the rule away, or to remove the ground pillar, or foundation of our fortress. The main point is this: the goal is not to have any rule at all left in our lives. Only in this way do we surrender to the Holy Spirit so that he can lead us. Only by this process, can we allow the Holy Spirit to gradu- ally break down the jail walls that we have built up around us, and become defenseless. Jesus tells us that it is only in our defenselessness that we are safe.
62 As long as I have rules, I am not free. Having any rule is tantamount to tying oneself up and locking oneself behind the towering walls of the labyrinth. Only through the removal of all my rules by Jesus or the Holy Spirit, do I become free. Only at this stage am I able to choose freely. Only at this stage am I no longer a prisoner in my own jail. Only at this stage can I let the Holy Spirit lead me. Most people will experience the mere thought of having all rules removed, as terrifying and chaos-producing. This is because our rules are our defense against the world. There- fore that which makes us defenseless, seems to bring about accompanying destruction. The removal of rules is not possible, unless there is a power beyond the ego’s thought system, which helps and supports us, and which loves us unconditionally - even if we believe that we are miserable sinners. It is only possible to decimate the ego at the same pace at which our trust in the Holy Spirit increases. But after our first cautious attempts, and after we have experienced that Jesus is right when he tells us that our defenselessness makes us invincible, our trust begins to grow. We begin to comprehend that He stands for truth, and we (the ego) stand for untruth.
63 18 The attraction of Guilt In the Course, Jesus talks about the fact that we feel attracted to guilt . He says that we consciously or unconsciously seek out situations and actions which make us feel guilty. This is difficult for most of us to accept or to understand. When we begin to look at our rules, we begin to notice what happens when we experience conflict; then we can find the rule that has laid the foundation for that conflict. When we begin to understand this mechanism, we begin to understand what Jesus means when he says that we are at- tracted to guilt. The ego tells us that letting go of our rules is tantamount to admitting chaos into our lives. The ego warns us that our relationships to people, the society and ourselves would become chaotic and without meaning without rules; the ego adds that our lives would quite simply be impossible to live without rules. This fear of chaos is, of course, connected to the fact that our rules are our defense. When we remove our rules, we feel defenseless. We feel that we are left open to the attack of others. Being defenseless is the same for the ego as annihilation; this is why the ego’s inner alarm goes off and all of our defenses
64 are enlisted when the thought of defenselessness enters the mind. Jesus tells us in the Course that, in fact, just the opposite is true: when we have nothing to defend, we cannot be attacked. When we try to imagine letting go of such rules as „I must keep my promises,“ „I must not steal,“ or „I must not kill,“ nearly all of us panic. If we take the example: „I must not steal,“ we immediately begin to imagine a situation in which we „by chance“ steal something, and perhaps how embarrassing it will be, if we get caught. Or, if we decide to drop the rule: „I keep my prom- ises,“ we begin to think about how irritating it will be if everyone simply dispenses with our agreements. The ego tells us that it clings to its rules because of just, well -founded arguments. This is, however, not so as we shall see in the following discussion: In the first place: If I let go of a rule, it means that I have absolutely no rule in that area of my life. I don’t have the opposite rule: „I may steal,“ or „I don’t have to keep my promises.“ In the second place: Since we now know that the ego makes us feel guilty using any means and at all costs, and since we know that every rule adds to our guilt, then the absence of a rule must have one logical consequence: the ego can no longer use the rule to add to our guilt. The rule no longer exists in the ego’s arsenal of „guilt-bombs,“ and is therefore no interest to the ego. I would like to point out again that we cannot drop our entire defense at once. No one can do that. If we did, then we would
65 be confronted with all of our guilt, including the guilt that we fear most of all: the deeply repressed guilt we feel because we have (or at least we believe we have) left God. As stated earlier, we need to understand that we (as egos) do need our rules and our defenses, and we do need to project. At the same time, we should look at what we are doing, why we are doing this, and what price we pay for it, etc. Thereaf- ter, we can slowly, start to remove our rules, one by one, with the help of the Holy Spirit.
The Holy Spirit and the ego are the only choices open to you. God created one, and so you cannot eradicate it. You made the other, and so you can. Only what God creates is irreversible and unchangeable. 66 T-5.V.6:8-11
67 19 Affirmations In the preceding chapter, it was mentioned that it does not help to exchange one rule for another, since all rules without exception add to our guilt. One of the great „new age hits“ has been to say or to write affirmations. The idea behind affirmations is, as follows: if I don’t think that I am just the way I would like to be, or if I think I don’t have what I want to have in my life, then I can change all that by telling myself that I am what I want to be, or that I have what I want to have. Here are some examples of affirmations: I love and appreciate myself. I am free from all irritation. I have moved to a better place. I am slim. I am free from the past. All kinds of wealth come to me. I am the authority in my life. etc. In short, affirmations aim at changing me and the world
68 around me. In this process, the physical world is made into „reality,“ and into something „special,“ and into the goal of my life. This is the direct opposite of what the Course tries to teach us; the Course aims at teaching us that the world is neutral, and that the world has no value in itself. The world is a mirror image of ourselves. If we are in a situation where we have no idea that we have a choice; or if we believe that loving oneself is „egotistical“ or something „forbidden“; or if we believe that it is wrong to be rich or happy, etc. then affirmations can be a way to open our eyes to the fact that we could possibly believe in something different, and that we do have a choice. From the Course’s point of view, affirmations (as defined previously) are a kind of magic, since I use the ego’s power instead of God’s. In using affirmations, I demonstrate that I believe that there is a power above and beyond God’s. Magic is, as defined in the Course: everything that is not of God.23 Magic works in the world but just as with all other ego-inventions, magic (here affirmations) adds to our guilt. This should be apparent in the following discussion. If I stand in front of the mirror morning, noon and night with my eyes directed toward my mirror image and if I tell myself 50 times that „I love and appreciate myself,“ then I’m actu- ally making a new rule for myself. My new rule says: „I must love and appreciate myself.“ After a while, when the rule has made an impression, I’ll feel guilty every time I become even the slightest bit self-critical. Every time I weigh a few pounds too much, or I have a few pimples on my forehead, then I’ll feel guilty because I should
69 be loving and appreciative of myself; I will have broken my own rule. We really despise ourselves way down deep. We project this hate outward, and we can measure it by the hate we feel toward Sadam Hussain, Adolf Hitler, the tax department, bureaucrats, foreign workers, capitalists, communists, the neighbor’s dog, etc. It is obvious that an affirmation (a rule) is destined to add to our guilt. Affirmations keep us treading the ego-treadmill, instead of helping approach the Holy Spirit’s right-mindedness.
Projection makes perception. The world you see is what you gave it, nothing more than that. But though it is no more than that, it is not less. Therefore, to you it is important. It is the witness to your state of mind, the outside picture of an inward condition. As a man thinketh, so does he perceive. Therefore, seek not to change the world, but choose to change your mind about the world. Perception is a result and not a cause. 70 T-21.in.1:1-8
71 20 Are the workbook lessons Affirmations? Many people regard the workbook lessons as affirmations and some people take the workbook titles and use them as affirmations. These lesson titles break the simple rules pre- scribed for affirmations. The word „not“ and other negative words appear in the titles; this is strictly forbidden in affirmations. Moreover, affirmations and the workbook lessons have completely different aims. This should be evi- dent in the following discussion. In the Introduction to the Workbook, Jesus tells us that the purpose of the lessons is to train our consciousness to think in terms of the thought system outlined in the Text Book24. The lessons are divided into two parts. The purpose of the lessons in Part I is to „dissolve“ the way we have perceived ourselves and „the world“ up to now. The lessons are planned systematically so we discover when we do the lessons that they are not specific; we discover that these are not just true for me, or on Sunday at church-time, but in general. This means that the lessons are true for everyone. The lessons are,
72 as such, statements of truth, which we slowly are lead to experience and to acknowledge. According to Jesus, however, the lessons should not be judged or evaluated; you don’t need to believe them or accept them or even like them. The lessons in Part I are considered a „de-learning“ of literally everything, which we have ever believed. Therefore, the lessons come under completely different category than affirmations. If we were to find an apt word for the lessons, we might call them „de-firmations“ instead of affirmations. When this „de-learning“ or „de-firmation“ has taken place, then we come to Part II. Part II deals with „acquiring true realization.“ The goal here is a direct experience of truth. It is obvious that the goal for the Workbook Lessons is com- pletely different than the goal described for affirmations. The aim of affirmations is always specific, and directed toward myself and no one else. Affirmations are a choice of specific things, that I want to be or to have, or that I don’t want to be or have. etc. To put it briefly: Affirmations „affirm“ the ego. The Course makes the ego „less firm.“
73 21 The connection between Rules and forgiveness The following is an explanation of the diagram on p78 . The diagram shows the connection between our rules and forgive- ness. It also shows the way from lack of peace to peace, or from fear to love. To show the connection between rules and forgiveness, I’ll use a very simple example, based upon something I experi- enced some years ago. This experience was the starting point of my realization of the fact that rules are guilt producing. Don’t let the simplicity of the example deceive you. The example has not been chosen because it is an outstanding example, but because it is simple and easy to follow. This should ease understanding. The same mechanism is at work - without exception for all of our rules. I lived in the country at the time. I had lots of guests, and I enjoyed that very much. Once in awhile, however, I became a little annoyed at some of my wonderful guests - but I really didn’t understand why. At some point, I decided to find out the cause of my irritation. This wasn’t very difficult. It turned out that these people were
74 wearing their shoes on indoors. Good grief! In the days to follow, I began to see how their shoes could possibly be related to my irritation. I discovered that I had a rule that said that „I must not wear shoes indoors.“ What had happened was that they had broken my rule, and that had made me mad. This is illustrated on the drawing on p78 by the angry look- ing man (1) and the shoe (2). When someone kept their shoes on, I became angry with the person who was the apparent „cause“ of my bad mood. If I hadn’t discovered my rule, I could have kept on getting irritated from now to eternity any time some „dummy“ broke my rule. I could have vacillated between 1 and 2. On the drawing the movement between 1 and 2 is called the ego’s treadmill. Until we see the advantage of doing some- thing else, this is the manner in which we perceive ourselves and the world around us: it is your fault, that I’m angry. You are the sinner. You are the cause of my anger! I am the inno- cent victim of your meanness. As anyone can see, the only result of this method is lack of peace. This method, however, has one obvious „advantage“: I never have to discover my own guilt. I will always be the innocent victim of a cruel world, which seen from my ego’s viewpoint is simply wonderful. The ego loves the victimization drama: the teary-eyed face of self-justification, the understanding expression on the faces of friends, and me pointing the accusing finger. I can point the accusing finger at you, the neighbor’s dog, the society, the car, or my lover - as the guilty party, or, in other words, as the cause of my suffering and misery. There is
75 indeed nothing more joyous for the ego. But if we look be- hind the mechanism, it becomes apparent, that this very mechanism gives us ample portions of guilt. When I discovered my rule about the shoes, I moved the „cause“ from you to myself, from 2 to 3 on the drawing. This means I can no longer hide the guilt from myself. This means, in turn, that I cannot say that you are the cause of my bad mood; I can no longer „pretend“ that I am the innocent lamb and you are the wolf. I suddenly realize that the „reason“ for my irritation is my homemade „truth,“ my rule and therefore myself. If I have a deep desire not to waste time trudging around on the ego’s treadmill, then it is an enormous advantage for me to discover my ego’s rules. When I look at one of my own rules, it becomes evident that I am the cause of how I am. I must realize the truth of Jesus’ words when he says: I have done everything to myself.25 Every rationalization evaporates like dew in the morning sun. It becomes impossible for me to believe that anything outside myself can be the cause of anything in my life. Then I see that I (not you) am the cause of my lack of peace. I see that I ( not you) am the henchman. I see that I have been held hostage by my own „grotesque truth“ - my own rules. But if I have chosen all of this, if it really is me who has chosen to be irritated, mad, grumpy, jealous, sad, etc., then all my rationalizations and justifications collapse in one felt swoop. It can no longer be (and it never has been ) you who has been the „culprit,“ it must be me. But why have I done this? Why have I literally chosen suffer- ing and misery, instead of a life of peace and love? It appears
76 completely idiotic, entirely meaningless, fully without aim or plan. There is a plan, however, the ego’s. The ego always has a foolproof plan! The ego’s ultimate aim is that I should never get to know (or even vaguely remember) God. One of the tricks the ego uses is that I hide my guilt in you. As long as I see my guilt in you I will never see it in myself. As Jesus says in the Course, the ego succeeds almost per- fectly in its plan there is nothing more horrifying to the ego than the memory of God and his Peace and his Love26. When I understand that my rule is the cause of my lack of peace, I have also realized that the cause is in my mind - not in the world. Using the decision-maker (4) located in my mind I now have two possibilities: I can either choose to keep the rule or choose to ask the Holy Spirit to remove the rule - to forgive. In other words, I can display an unwillingness or a willing- ness to have the rule removed by the Holy Spirit - ask Him to change my mind for me - or shortly: to forgive. Willingness to have the rule removed allows me to move up to number 5 on the drawing. If I don’t allow the rule to be removed by the Holy Spirit, I will continue to accumulate guilt. This, however, now occurs with an awareness of the process, whereas before the guilt was hidden. There are many obviously good reasons for hiding guilt from ourselves. If we choose to see the guilt in you (if we choose to see you as the „sinner“), we choose to see the „sin“ outside ourselves. By discovering our rules, we discover how diffi-
77 cult it is to be „privy to“ the knowledge that we, ourselves, are the cause of any lack of peace that we experience. If we choose not to do anything about the rule, then we will feel enormously guilty about having chosen such an extreme form of masochism. After a while, we will discover that we are faced with two possibilities; we can either drop the rule (and the guilt) or we can die because of the unbearable guilt. On the drawing on p78, I call going from number (1) to number (3) being on the treadmill of death. I don’t consider this a dramatic exaggeration. In this situation, I know that I am the cause of my lack of peace, but I am not willing to do anything about it. I realize that I have chosen to be troubled rather than to be at peace. It is exactly here that I experience a gigantic struggle. It is as if our most terrifying nightmare wakes up from the dead, or as if we are involved in one of history’s most violent and bloody battles. This being the case, we have extreme resistance against assuming responsibility for our rules; we may even prefer to sacrifice our lives. The moment I realize that I have made everything myself, then the world I have so carefully built up, including my self- concept, will fall down like a house of cards. The result will be both annihilation of my „self“ and my world. It can take a long time, but no matter what spiritual path I choose, I must at some point arrive at this crossroads. It is, understandably, here most people have trouble with the Course. It is at this point that people flush the Course down the toilet, throw it out the window - or in other cases never open the book again. No one can bear to face all that guilt and to be completely
78 1 2 5 3 ego Holy Spirit forgiveness "cause" Wrong-mindedness: world of the ego, perception The real world: True perception Right-mindedness ––––––––––– Effect - peace Cause: the split mind happiness fridom joy love 4 the decision-maker / Rule 'treadmill of death' I am to blame, suicide, guilt guilt fear 6 ☺ ––––––––––– effect - war judgment, projection guilt 'the ego's treadmill - you are to blame
79 conscious of it. This is why it literally becomes of vital im- portance to have an implement or a tool for removing the guilt. Luckily for us, there is a means to remove our per- ceived guilt: forgiveness. Before we look at forgiveness, we’ll look at what keeps us from forgiving.
No one who learns to forgive can fail to remember God. Forgiveness, then, is all that need be taught, because it is all that need be learned. All blocks to the remembrance of God are forms of unforgiveness, and nothing else. 80 P-2.II.3:1-3
81 22 What keeps me from forgiving? When we stand on the threshold, and are just about to for- give, we sometimes run into some obstacles which seem to stop us before we start. If you have the desire to forgive, but it is difficult for you to get started, you may find the explana- tion in the following obstacles. As you read the following, ask yourself if you have the feel- ing that (or even know that) this obstacle is relevant for you. Acknowledge the obstacle, and ask yourself if your willing- ness to forgive is greater than your desire to maintain your lack of peace. If not, stop here and return to the forgiveness process another time. Obstacles: As has already been mentioned several times, our greatest fear is our fear of God. A fear of God is equivalent to a fear of love. When we forgive, we experience that love. This is why we have an „inherent“ resistance to forgiving. In the second place, we feel attracted to guilt (Text Book cap 19). Literally speaking, our ego needs to feel guilty.
82 Since forgiveness removes our guilt, then the attraction of guilt is an obstacle that must be overcome on some level. In the third place, forgiveness is an extremely simple process. Forgiveness is so simple that the ego can easily convince us that it won’t work. The truth is always problematic and com- plicated seen from an ego standpoint. Don’t let yourself be fooled by that. The truth is in fact simple. A fourth problem is that the words „God,“ „Jesus,“ „The Holy Spirit,“ and „forgiveness,“ bring up resistance for many people. If this is the case, please do not fool yourself about it. God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit are pure Love; a rejection of them is a disguised rejection of love. Forgiveness, as the Course defines it, probably has very little to do with your own ver- sion of forgiveness. Therefore if you experience resistance hearing or saying these words you cannot blame them but probably only your personal interpretation of the words. The final obstacle that I will mention is that we ultimately don’t believe that we deserve love. At some level, we are convinced that we are not worth loving. The ego is constantly loading our heads with the message that we are awful, wicked, terrible people. Unfortunately, we believe the ego, and this adds to our guilt. It is, therefore, very easy for the ego to convince us that we must hide how terrible we are, at any cost. Keeping these thoughts of self-contempt a secret from our- selves and others is one trick the ego uses to maintain our guilt as: Each secret is a cover for hidden guilt.
83 It is only when you are willing to uncover all the terrible things that you feel about yourself and are willing to experi- ence all of the guilt involved in this process that you will be willing to forgive; only then will you discover that guilt disappears and love takes its place. Guilt is the one feeling that we all would do anything not to feel. Feeling our guilt without running away from it, is a very difficult process because: no matter how clear and logical it seems, that it is my rule that is the cause of my lack of peace (and not you or the world), I will, nevertheless, attempt to justify myself on the issue. We are extremely creative when it concerns hiding these rationalizations from both ourselves and others. The reason for this is: when I see clearly that it is my rule, that is the cause of my troubled mind, then I will also realize, how terribly I have treated myself. I must realize how much I hate and accuse myself for what I have done. But worst of all, I cannot avoid feeling how much guilt I feel at having done that to my self. Jesus keeps telling us throughout the Course that all we need is a little willingness. When we show this willingness, He or the Holy Spirit will do the work for us. Without willingness, we cannot truly forgive. The big question in trying to forgive is always whether we have this willingness or not. We often believe that we are willing. We often imagine that we fervently want to forgive and that we have a deep desire to let go of our pain. We „forgive“ and „forgive,“ but it doesn’t seem to help or change. This is of course an unbearable situation since we seem to be stuck; we may even be tempted to give up on this „forgive-
84 ness crap,“ with the excuse that it didn’t really work anyway and we feel tempted to go on to „something better.“ If, however, you find yourself in the situation just described, you should be aware of the fact that your efforts have not been wasted. If you haven’t experienced a „release“ after forgiveness, it is merely because the willingness has not been present; willingness determines the success of forgiveness. This, however, is not a sin! You have only temporarily cho- sen the ego instead of the Holy Spirit. The surest measurement for your willingness, is whether you have felt your guilt about hurting yourself. Feeling the guilt (great or small) is the willingness Jesus asks us to bring to Him before He or the Holy Spirit can help us. Jesus pleads with us in the Course, never to try to overlook (deny or repress) our guilt before asking for His help. If I do that then He cannot help me because I am trying to hide what I am asking Him to remove. This is merely unwillingness, however, not a sin. The feeling of guilt about having chosen a rule that has hurt me and made me unhappy is therefore a sure indication or measurement of my willingness. If I don’t feel the guilt, then I am maintaining (hidden from myself) my own justifications and rationalizations. In this context, it is important to realize that guilt can be experi- enced in a multitude of ways ranging from embarrassment to awkwardness, to „red ears,“ to a guilty conscience, to feeling ashamed, to resignation, to emptiness, to inadequacy, to deep, black all-consuming guilt. If you get stuck here in your process of forgiveness, (because you on some level are not willing to feel your guilt) know
85 that your efforts have not been in vain. Recognize that you still have resistance and try to accept that you still want to justify yourself (and your rule). Look again at the rule that brought you so much pain and disharmony. Try to make it clear to yourself that you prefer unhappiness and lack of peace to God’s Peace and Love (at least for the moment). Look at the rule. See what it does to you. Look at the unhap- piness it brings you, and has brought you. Realize that you are rationalizing somewhere inside yourself. You believe that the rationalization can give you more than the peace and love that forgiveness will bring you. If you didn’t have the need to justify your rule somewhere inside you (perhaps only a little bit), you would feel supremely guilty about the fact that you are still willing to do this to yourself. The day will come when you change your mind. At some point your fear of God’s Peace and Love will be less, and you will no longer desire to bring further suffering upon yourself. At that point, and only then, will you be willing to take the first step. Then you will be able to „sacrifice the ego“ and say „yes“ to life. It is important for you to realize that no matter what you choose, the Love of the Holy Spirit is constant and his pa- tience with you is limitless. The Holy Spirit and Jesus cannot take any action against your will or against what you have decided; if He did that, He would break the divine "law of cause and effect.“ Love can but be Itself and cannot force you to do anything. If It did It would not be Love. However, do not fool yourself by all these obstacles!
86 You deserve love; in fact, you have love already; you only need to discover it. You will discover this when you begin to forgive. You only have to take the first step and be willing! This is the shift that true perception brings: What was projected out is seen within, and there forgiveness lets it disappear. For there the altar to the Son is set, and there his Father is remembered. C-4. 6:1-2 Truth cannot have an opposite. This can not be too often said and thought about. For if what is not true is true as well as what is true, then part of truth is false.And truth has lost its meaning. Nothing but the truth is true, and what is false is false. C-4.6:1-2 W-152.3:5-9
87 23 Forgiveness The following is an example of how you can liberate yourself from your rules, and how you can approach the peace and love that you believe you have abandoned. It does not matter if you use Jesus or the Holy Spirit; it is important, however, that you know that there is a power, which stands outside the ego’s thought system. It is also important that you know there is One who loves you unconditionally, regardless of how „sinful“ you think you are yourself, or irrespective of what you may have done or not done. In fact it doesn’t matter if you have killed your mother or have donated a 100 million dollars to The Cancer Society, the Holy Spirit’s love is unwa- vering. As Jesus says, there is nothing too big or too little for the Holy Spirit to help us with. In fact, we must learn to turn to the Holy Spirit with all of our problems, and allow Him to guide us in all areas of our life. The numbers in parentheses in the following refer to the numbers on the chart on p78. As you know, there is always a rule which lies behind your lack of peace. You have chosen to make this rule a part of
88 your reality/your "truth". This rule is not the truth, because the truth can never be in conflict. It is simply not possible. The only objective you could have, is that you don’t want God’s Peace and Love. There is no other reason for lack of peace. Sit somewhere, where you can be in peace for a little while. Take about 15 minutes initially. When you become accus- tomed to „forgiving rules,“ many rules can be forgiven in a matter of moments. 1. Find a rule that has given you a conflict with another person, or 2. Find your rules that give you inner conflict. Forgiveness has the following three stages: Stage 1: The cause of my lack of peace is that I don’t want to experience God’s Peace and Love. Sit still with closed eyes. Imagine that you have two choices: The Holy Spirit or the ego (5 or 3). When you experience lack of peace it is because you have chosen the ego (3). Nevertheless, say something like this: Dear Holy Spirit, please be at my side. I know that I cannot do what I intend to do alone. I have a rule that says, that ............. I can see now that this rule brings me guilt and lack of peace, and that I use it in order not to be in your Peace and Love. I don’t want to have this rule anymore. Change my mind for me, so that I don’t need this rule or any other in its place.
89 It is only in the mind, where the cause of lack of peace is found, that you have the possibility of choice. The point of choice in the mind is labeled (4) „the decision maker“ on the drawing on p78. The decision maker is the part of the mind where you can decide for the ego or the Holy Spirit. The Course says that this decision (between the ego and the Holy Spirit) is the only real choice in this world. As seen on the drawing, this is the choice between lack of peace or peace, fear or love, suffering or happiness. It is your choice and no one else but you can make that decision. Experience the feelings connected with the fact that you have this rule. Experience the lack of peace it gives you to have this rule. Feel the sorrow, suffering, irritation, anger, jeal- ousy, apathy, emptiness, etc. that this rule gives you and has given you. Look at how it has effected your life. See what the rule has brought you. Look at the rule, and see how you have used it as a defense and, as such, have attacked other people. See how you have used the rule to justify yourself, because you thought in doing so you could hide from God and his Love. Experience the guilt you feel because you have done this to yourself. Look at the fact that its your choice. Stage 2: I look at the rule without justifying it. I am still in my mind where I have two choices: the Holy Spirit or the ego (5 or 3). Up to now I have chosen the ego’s hand (3), and have experi- enced guilt brought about what I have done to myself. I now imagine that I let go of the ego’s hand, and I „enter the part of the mind,“ where the Holy Spirit resides.
90 I choose consiously to take the Holy Spirit’s hand (5) and may say something like this: I ask you, Holy Spirit, to change my mind so that I com- pletely understand that I have made that rule my truth and my reality because I needed a defense against my brother, and because I wanted to defend my lack of peace. I no longer need this rationalization and this defense. I see that this only brings me guilt and distances me from your Peace and your Love, which is the only thing that I desire. Therefore, I ask you Holy Spirit to change my mind concerning this rule so that I can see myself as guiltless and in God’s peace as you always see me. Look at the rule with the Holy Spirit without any attempt to justify it. Stage 3: I look at the rule without judging myself for it. Together with the Holy Spirit, I look at myself without judg- ing myself for having chosen the rule. Dear Holy Spirit, I see clearly that I have two choices: Your Peace and your Love or the fear and judgment of the ego. I am willing to change my mind. Before I chose the ego, now I choose You. Remove my rule and make me defenseless. I now understand that I am free and invulnerable and only in this state, am I able to receive Your guidance. If I feel that I am not willing to allow the Holy Spirit to remove my rule after all, then I attempt to see if there is
91 another rule that is the cause of this obstacle; if this is the case, I ask the Holy Spirit to remove this rule first. If I still don’t want the rule removed, then I accept that, at the moment, I feel that there is a greater advantage in maintain- ing my rule (as well as my lack of peace), than in experienc- ing Peace and Love. I try to look at myself with the Holy Spirit without judgement concerning the fact that I have made the choice to keep the rule; I realize that I’m hiding a justifi- cation from myself somewhere. I keep on trying a moment; I try to find the justification while I am still with the Holy Spirit. If I don’t succeed, then I know that I can always go back to the forgiveness process at some later point. If I am willing, then I experience that peace and quiet and love slowly come over me and replace all my guilt and self- criticism. I imagine all my rules are built up around me like a thick wall of defense; then I see the Holy Spirit take one or more stones out of the wall. He blows on the stone and it disappears. I wait a moment, until I feel that all guilt and judgement have vanished and have been replaced by the Holy Spirit’s Love and Peace (6). When I feel that my self-judgment has disappeared, then the forgiveness process is complete. I know then that I have chosen the Holy Spirit instead of the ego, because the Holy Spirit cannot judge. Often I experience an infinite love for everyone and every- thing, and a deep sense of gratitude for the Holy Spirit. I thank Him and say something like: This holy instant I would give to You. Be you in charge. For I would follow You, certain that Your direction gives me peace. W-361-365
92 On the drawing on p78, there is a fat horizontal line in the middle of the page. This line represents the dividing line between right-mindedness and wrong-mindedness. The upper-half symbolizes the perception of the Holy Spirit (right-mindedness) and the lower-half represents the ego’s perception (wrong-mindedness). As mentioned earlier, the goal of the Course is to change our mind from wrong- mindedness to right-mindedness. Notice that both right- and wrong- mindedness are percep- tions, interpretations of the physical world, which we can choose between. We can either choose between the ego or the Holy Spirit, but not both simultaneously. When we choose the Holy Spirit’s perception, the world does not change, but our perception of everything in the world changes. Our perception changes because our point of depar- ture changes from fear to love. We, therefore, see everything as an expression of love, or (as Jesus says ) a call for love. Each day, each hour and minute, even each second, you are deciding between the crucifixion and the resurrection; between the ego and the Holy Spirit. The ego is the choice for guilt; the Holy Spirit the choice for guiltlessness. The power of decision is all that is yours. T-14.III.4:1-3
93 24 Forgiveness in Brief I would like to emphasize that the preceding example is merely an example, which you can use as a model at first. Gradually, as you acquire more experience in forgiveness, you can expand on it, change it, or simplify it so that it suits you better. It is important to remember that forgiveness contains the following elements: 1. Find the rule that has given you conflict with another person, or: 2. Find the rules within you that are the cause of inner conflict. Stage 1: The cause of my lack of peace is that I don’t want God’s Peace and Love. The only aim you have had with this rule is you don’t want Peace and Love. There is no other reason for this rule! Imagine that you raise yourself up to the level of your mind, where you have two choices: the Holy Spirit or the ego. When you experience a lack of peace, it is always because you have chosen the ego.
94 Nevertheless, say something like this: Dear Holy Spirit, please be by my side. I know that I cannot do what I intend to do alone. Only You can do for me. I have a rule says____________ . I under- stand that this rule only brings me guilt and lack of peace.I realize that I use this rule to avoid Your Peace and Love. I no longer wish to have this rule. Please help me to change my mind, so that I don’t need this rule or any other in its place. Experience your lack of peace. Experience the guilt you feel at having chosen this rule that has brought you this lack of peace. Look at the suffering and unhappiness the rule has caused you. Feel the guilt at having done all this to yourself. See that its your choice! Stage 2: Look at the rule without trying to justify it. Imagine that you are still in the mind, where you have two choices: the Holy Spirit or the ego. Now imagine that you let go of the ego’s hand, and step into the area of the mind, where the Holy Spirit dwells. Now take the Holy Spirit’s hand and say something like this: I ask You Holy Spirit to please change my mind, so that I completely understand that I have made this rule my reality and truth because I believed that I needed a defense against my brother, and so that I could justify my lack of peace. I no longer need this justification and this defense. I understand that this only brings me guilt and distances me from your Peace and Love, which is all that I want. I ask You, therefore, to change my mind about this rule so that I see myself as innocent and peaceful, just as you see me.
95 Stage 3: Look at the rule without judging yourself for it. With the Holy Spirit, look at yourself, without judging your- self for having chosen this rule. Say something like: Dear Holy Spirit. I see clearly that I have two choices: Your Love and Peace or the ego’s fear and judgment. I am willing to change my mind. Before I chose the ego, now I am ready to choose You. Remove my rule, and make me defenseless. I see now that only then am I free and invulnerable, and only then am I able to be under Your guidance and direction. Imagine that the Holy Spirit removes your rule and your defense. Wait a moment until you feel that all guilt, rationalization, and judgement have disappeared and have been replaced by the Holy Spirit’s Love and Peace. When you feel that your self-accusation has disappeared, then the forgiveness process is complete. Then you know that you have chosen the Holy Spirit instead of the ego; the Holy Spirit doesn’t judge. Close by thanking the Holy Spirit for His help.
The way to God is through forgiveness here. There is no other way. 96 W-256.1:1-2
97 25 Forgiveness Ultra-Brief As we know, practice makes perfect. When we accept for- giveness as our only function, we use all situations, events, possibilities etc. to learn true forgiveness. At some point on our way to perfection we grasp how very simple and self-evident the Course is. I realize that my goal - and the target of the Course - are one and the same: God's Peace, which is necessary for my successful Homecoming. Only my misperceptions are blocking my way. I cannot change my perception by myself. The Holy Spirit/Jesus can very easily do it for me. I only need to ask. Experiencing lack of peace tells me that I have misperceived - I have perceived something else but love. I choose forgiveness by calling upon the Holy Spiri t/ Jesus and ask Him to change my perception from my own fear-founded to His perception which sees only love. I expect it to happen - for it will in due time.
99 26 Appendix Present appendix contains tree small writings I have made for participants of various workshops I've conducted with Pernille Kondo. A few alterations have been made related to this e-book edition. Maybe especially "3. Common Pitfalls studying the Course" is helpful for newbies but also more advanced students I suppose. As you will see there is a large number of pitfalls - all of which I have a personal experience. I wouldn't wonder, how- ever, if I have forgotten some or you might find a few more. This writing also contains a series of questions which the workshop participants were asked to answer and discuss. You can test if you have some good answers to these ques- tions.
101 1. The Simplicity of the Course This is a very simple course. Perhaps you do not feel you need a course which, in the end, teaches that only reality is true. But do you believe it? God is only Love - nothing but eternal, unchangeable Love. Love does not attack, does not defend Itself, demands noth- ing, does not want anything. Love is but an eternal given and expansion of Itself. GOD IS! 1. Realize and admit to yourself that all your pain is caused by your own wrong/unloving thoughts, acts, behavior towards yourself and other people, things, ideas etc. More precisely: caused by your chosen perception. 2. You have made this choice of perception and consequently you can at any time, in any place, right now and here choose otherwise. 3. By yourself you cannot change your perception. 4. But the Holy Spirit / Jesus can if you allow Him to do so. 5. Do you wish to let go of your pain/your worries (big or small) you call upon Him. Be honest with your feelings, your pain, thoughts, T-11.VIII.1:1-3
102 your attacks or defenses etc. etc. Ask the Holy Spirit/Jesus to change your percep- tion from your own fear-colored to His which is only Love. If the unlikely should happen that you do not experience the miracle, the reason is that you rather want to keep on to your own perception than let the Holy Spirit heal it for you. You believe that your pain gives you more than God's Peace. Do not blame yourself for this. It is only your belief right now - not the truth about you. And for certain, your attempt was a necessary step on your way to true forgiveness. Come back to Him whenever you think the time has come, whenever you feel "this must have an end", whenever you see a greater benefit in God's Peace than in your self-imposed conflict. Note. As the Course defines it, forgiveness is this change of your perception from fear to love. The miracle is defined as the moment this change takes place for the world you see will be completely, utterly and for ever changed. Have you made the choice to follow the Holy Spirit's thought system in stead of the ego's it is impossible to perceive this world including yourself as anything but love. You will realize the truth in Jesus' words that everything is: either 1. an expression of love or 2. a call for love.
103 2. Why forgiveness? No one who learns to forgive can fail to remember God. Forgiveness, then, is all that need be taught, because it is all that need learned. All blocks to the remembrance of God are forms of unforgiveness, and nothing else. Why and when do we need to forgive? Is that really necessary? What happens if we do not forgive? Are there more ways to forgive? Is it possible to forgive right/wrong? What is there in it for me? Let’s establish, forgiveness is Jesus’ way to day with the Course as it was 2000 years ago. However, forgiveness has untill today been interpreted by the ego and has thus been used in the ego’s interest – to confirm that we are some inborn sinners beyond all hope. With the Course a new interpretation – the Holy Spirit’s interpretation – has come to our knowledge and by that an interpretation which disproves our belief in sin and which tells us that sin is only a misperception, an error which for- giveness easily can correct. Let’s take a look at these two interpretations of the term ”forgiveness”. The ego’s "forgiveness" Wrong-mindedness listens to the ego and makes illusions; perceiving sin and justifying anger, and seeing guilt, disease and death as real. P-2.II.3:1-3 C-1.6:1
104 You say some words/do something which hurts me. I feel the sting/a pain inside me (the degree of pain depends upon our ability to deny, displace and suppress our feelings). When we react as an ego, one or several of following usually happens: 1. I try to put a lid over my pain. 2. I attack you - the best defense is as we know an attack. 3. I try to excuse you, 4. I try to explain away the event, 5. I try to explain to myself why you have said and done 6. If possible I part phycically from you (divorce you). After a while the pain seems to have grown smaller. I start slowly to forget the incident. The ego now is faced with two choices: either 1. choose continuously to forget/deny (the most common choice) or 2. I get a wish to forgive Regarding 1. I choose continuously to forget/deny. It is a fact that everything I deny/suppress I will also project. By projecting I see my own ”sin” outside myself, in you, in the government, in the rain, in the wife/husband, in things around me, shortly in everything and everybody. When I project I in fact attack because I accuse you/some- thing/somebody. I cannot project/attack without feeling guilty about it. Perhaps I do not feel much of this guilt right away but inevitably I feel it and I'll try still harder to get rid of it, hide it further and further away in my mind - everything you have chosen the ego. you ! according to the ego's plan for salvation.
105 Don't I feel this guilt immediately, it will for certain express itself in my still more severe projections/attacks and finally in my headaches, depressions, anger, despair, feelings of aban- donment and emptiness. Regarding 2. I choose to "forgive" As we are talking about the ego's "forgiveness" this choice is principally the same as 1. above "I choose continuously to forget/deny" although a little bit more sophisticated. In this case I go to you and say some words like:” I forgive you for having hurt me when you said/did so and so…....” Doing so I in reality say: You are an evil person (implying: I am good) who has hurt me, but now I forgive you for the sufferings you have caused me. You need not have a doctor degree in psychology to see that this is an attack. As we know already attacks generate guilt. Besides, I see you as an ego – not as God’s Son – which in it self is an attack - only adds to my guilt. Furthermore, I confirm the separation – you evil / I good – which also brings me guilt. As if this wasn’t enough, I put an extra cover over my pain as I believe I have got rid of it by placing it in you. Denial generates projection which generates guilt. Thus the end result is the same as above mentioned – we confirm our belief that sin is real. What the ego calls ”forgiveness” thus in fact is one of the its many hidden methods to retain us in guilt and confirm our belief that sin is real and not what Jesus tells us: just an error which easily can be corrected. In complete contrast to the ego's guilt-producing form of forgiveness is the Holy Spirit's loving and guilt-dissolving offer.
106 The Holy Spirit’s/Jesus’ forgiveness From sin comes guilt as surely as forgiveness takes all guilt away. Please compare the same steps above concerning the ego's forgiveness: You say some words/do something which hurts me. I feel the sting/the pain inside me. 1, I do not put a lid over my pain. 2. I do not attack you. 3. I do not try to excuse you, 4. I do not try to explain away the event, 5. I do not try to explain for myself why you have said and done those wicked things you did. 6. I do not part physically from you On the contrary. If you are unfamiliar or unexperienced with the Holy Spirit's forgiveness you might repeat to yourself something like: Right now I saw my brother as a sinner in stead of the Son of God as Jesus tells me he is. Sincerely and truthfully I want to see him like that. No more do I want to be entrapped by the ego that I once again will confirm my belief in sin and guilt and consolidate my imprisonment. I know that what I see is only a question of perception. I know that I cannot by myself change my perception, but I know Someone who can do this for me. C-4.5:6
107 If above already is a part of you, just address the Holy Spirit/ Jesus with a few words like these: Dear Holy Spirit/Jesus help me. Please change my misperception of my brother to your loving perception that I can see him like you see him – in love, and I can attain God's Peace which I am longing for. That's it! Your world will for ever be changed - you have walked from darkness into the lighrt. You have as Jesus express' it brought illusion to the truth. Final words. Above is ”true forgiveness” as Jesus wish us to learn it. This form is totally freed of guilt and the belief that sin has any reality for my brother and myself. As explained we do not forgive others for the evil, bad and ugly things they do to us. On the contrary we forgive ourselves that we have misperceived them. Our perception was colored by fear instead of by love. Coming to this realization we ask the Holy Spirit / Jesus to correct our misperception for us. This form of forgiveness will inevitably change our belief in sin and will in the end supply ud with” vision” or the ability to see” the real world” as Jesus calls this world the moment we have forgiven everything and everybody and rest in the Please of God. In the Course Jesus says that: ”Fear and love are the only emotions of which you are capable". Our choice therefore is between fear and love. You own ”the power of decision”: ”The power of decision is
108 your one remaining freedom as a prisoner of this world.” This power of decision is yours alone and thus you alone can choose the road of love/the Holy Spirit or continue walking the ego’s treadmill. No one is capable of choosing for you. You alone are master of your choices. Do you, however, choose the ego’s path, nobody will ever condemn you for it – nobody except yourself of course. What you can decide between is fixed, because there are no alternatives except truth and illusion. There is no overlap between them, because they are opposites which cannot be reconciled and cannot both be true. You are guilty or guiltless, bound or free, unhappy or happy. T-14.III.4:4-6
109 3. Common pitfalls studying ACIM Trials are but lessons that you failed to learn presented once again, so where you made a faulty choice before you now can make a better one, and thus escape all pain that what you chose before has brought to you. In every difficulty, all distress, and each perplexity Christ calls to you and gently says, “My brother, choose again.” 1. I forgive you for the evil things you have done/said to me. Which error do we make if we "forgive" like this? Which are the results we can expect? Has anybody ever told you "I forgive you"? If yes, how did you feel hearing this? 2. I become a hypocrite. What does it mean to be hypocritical? Give some examples. 3. I am not in contact with my feelings, I run away from them, hide them for myself and others, suppress them, deny them. Which are theconsequences for you if you deny/suppress your feelings? 4. I do not ask the Holy Spirit/Jesus for help. Something is too big/too small that help is possible, that They even will think to bother. T-31.VIII.3:1-2
110 Have you ever thought like this? Why is above conclusion false? Why is it necessary to ask Them for help? What is the only think They can help you with? 5. I believe that I can/I have to do it myself. I want to do it myself - nobody shall lecture me about anything. Is this what you believe? If so, what can you do about it? Do you want to do anything about it? Why is it not possible for you to change your mind by yourself? 6. It’s so simple that it got to be a lie. Life has to be hard and difficult. Something must be wrong if it isn't. Perhaps this is your belief? If so, what can you do about it? Do you want to do something about it? 7. I don’t believe what He (Jesus) tells me, therefore I will not do as He asks me. Is this your attitude, please tell the group why you nevertheless have chosen to participate. 8. I do not deserve to be happy/in God’s Peace. God can’t possible love me. Give at least 10 examples from the Course which disproves above statements. If you believe above, please tell what you can do about it.
111 9. He/she/I do not deserve to be forgiven. They/we are all too bad/vicious/stupid/incurable/ unchangeable etc. for forgiveness to work. Why are all these wrong conclusions? How can you change such false conclusions? How do you forgive yourself? 10. I misunderstand the cause-effect-relationship. Explain the relationship between 1. your feelings and your perception and 2. your thoughts and your perception. Which is the cause and which is the effect? 11. I make ”level-confusion” for instance: ”What the heck, everything is just an illusion anyway”. Give examples of level-1 and level-2 statements from the Course. Why is a confusion of levels a hindrance for you to learn true forgiveness? 12. I believe that God has created the world. Why couldn’t God possibly have created the physical world and everything in it including our bodies? Why is it that you will never come Home as long as you believe this? Have you ever thought about the fact that the statement in 12. above makes the perfect skapegoat?
112 13. In stead of perceiving neutrally I become ”indifferent” - without empathy. Explain the difference between being ”neutral” and ”indifferent”. What does lack of empathy and indifference express or cover up?
115 27 References Below you will find some references. Those given are far from a complete list and probably not even the most signifi- cant. Please make your own search if you are the lucky owner of a electronic edition of the Course. Following abbreviations are used referring to A Course in Miracles 2nd edition and Psychotherapy: Purpose, Process and Practice, Foundation for Inner Peace, Inc., P.O. Box 1104, Glen Ellen, California 95442, USA. . T Textbook. T-5.V. 4:9 = Textbook, Chapter 5, Section V, Part 4, Sentence 9. W Workbook. W-pI.30. 7:4 = Workbook, Part I/II, Lesson 30, Part 7, Sentence 4. M Manual for Teachers. M-17.1:6 = Manual, Chapter 17, Part 1, Sentence 6. C Clarification of Terms. C-2. 1:3 = Clarification, Chapter 2, Part 1, Sentence 3. P Psychotherapy. P-2.IV. 10:6 = Psychotherapy, Chapter 2, Section 4, Part 10, Sentence 6.
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A Course in Miracles describes that we are capable of "seeing", or rather interpreting, everything in two diffe- rent ways called right-minded or wrong-minded. When we are born, we naturally view the world with our ego-eyes, which means everything we perceive is colored with fear. This is, as you might guess, what's called wrong-mindedness. Briefly described, it is a set of rules according to which we live, act, and think. The ego tells us that these rules are our only de- fense against an evil and cruel world. What the ego conveniently forgets to tell us is that defenses, in fact, are attacks, which give us guilt and, as such, entrap us in the physical world. Right-mindedness, however, is how our Christ-mind views the world—as love or a call for love. The aim of A Course in Miracles is to guide us in shifting from wrong to right-mindedness, which ultimately enables us to see everything like Christ did. We achieve this by practicing true forgiveness. Making this switch is essential if we want to come Home, because, as my revelation showed me, it is not beliefs but only love that un- locks the gates of Heaven for us.