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Starting over at 50 A GUIDED WORKBOOK FOR BLACK WOMEN K I N T A W I L S O N A journal about choices, consequences, and the process of starting over 1

STARTING OVER AT 50 RE-WRITING YOUR STORY A BLACK WOMAN’S GUIDE TO REBUILDING HER LIFE, MONEY & CONFIDENCE A 30-DAY WORKBOOK FOR YOUR NEXT CHAPTER YOU MAY BE STARTING OVER, BUT YOU ARE NOT STARTING FROM NOTHING. YOUR WISDOM IS STILL YOURS. YOUR EXPERIENCE IS STILL YOURS. YOUR GIFTS ARE STILL YOURS. AND YOUR FUTURE IS STILL YOURS. TAKE 30 DAYS TO RESET YOUR THOUGHTS, REBUILD YOUR FINANCES & REDISCOVER YOURSELF YOUR NEXT CHAPTER CAN BE YOUR BEST CHAPTER. CREATED FOR THE WOMAN WHO KNOWS SHE DESERVES MORE. 2

THIS BOOK BELONGS TO: NAME: ------------------------------------------- MY STARTING-OVER DATE: _______________ MY REASON FOR BEGINNING AGAIN: -------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------- A MESSAGE TO MY FUTURE SELF: DEAR FUTURE ME, --------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------- I AM BEGINNING AGAIN BECAUSE: ------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------- 3

A LETTER TO YOU IF YOU HAVE THIS WORKBOOK, THERE IS PROBABLY SOMETHING IN YOUR LIFE THAT DOESN'T LOOK THE WAY YOU THOUGHT IT WOULD BY NOW. MAYBE MONEY IS TIGHT. MAYBE YOUR HEART IS TIRED. MAYBE YOU LOST A JOB, ENDED A RELATIONSHIP, BECAME AN EMPTY NESTER, EXPERIENCED A DIVORCE, OR SIMPLY WOKE UP ONE MORNING AND REALIZED YOU NO LONGER RECOGNIZE THE LIFE YOU'RE LIVING. BUT HEAR THIS: YOU ARE NOT TOO OLD. FIFTY IS NOT THE FINISH LINE. YOU HAVE DECADES OF WISDOM, LESSONS, SKILLS, RESILIENCE, AND LIFE EXPERIENCE THAT NO ONE CAN TAKE AWAY FROM YOU. YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE EVERYTHING FIGURED OUT TODAY. YOU ONLY NEED TO TAKE THE NEXT STEP. THIS WORKBOOK IS YOUR SPACE TO BREATHE, REFLECT, PLAN, RELEASE, AND REBUILD. YOUR STORY IS STILL BEING WRITTEN. AND THIS TIME, YOU GET TO WRITE THE NEXT CHAPTER. 4

BEFORE WE BEGIN Give Yourself Permission Before you begin, give yourself permission to: ☐ Start slowly ☐ Change your mind ☐ Make mistakes ☐ Ask for help ☐ Say no ☐ Rest ☐ Dream again ☐ Want more ☐ Put yourself first ☐ Begin again Complete this sentence: At this stage of my life, I give myself permission to... ------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------- One thing I will stop apologizing for: --------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------- 5

MY STORY IS NOT OVER What Happened To You Is Not You! Your past may explain where you are. It does not have to determine where you're going. Think about the difficult seasons you've survived. Three things I've survived: 1.____________________________________ 2.____________________________________ 3.____________________________________ What did those experiences teach me? ___________________________________ ____________________________________ What strength did I gain from them? __________________________________ ___________________________________ Reminder: I am more than what happened to me. 6

MY STORY Turning 50 was supposed to feel different. I thought by this age I would have certain things figured out—especially financially. Instead, I found myself having to reevaluate my life and figure out what comes next. There have been moments when I felt embarrassed, overwhelmed, and even disappointed in myself. I wondered how I could have worked so hard and still find myself struggling. But I'm learning that starting over doesn't mean I failed. Sometimes life simply takes us somewhere we never planned to go. And now I'm asking myself a different question: What can I build from where I am today? Your Turn: Have you ever felt like your life didn't turn out the way you expected? What would you tell another woman going through the same thing? ___________________________________ ____________________________________ _____________________________________ 7

THE LIFE AUDIT Where Am I Right Now? Take an honest look at your life without judging yourself. My life feels: ☐ Peaceful ☐ Chaotic ☐ Lonely ☐ Hopeful ☐ Uncertain ☐ Exciting ☐ Exhausting ☐ Stuck ☐ In transition ☐ Ready for change Rate these areas from 1–10: Finances: ____ /10 Career: ____ /10 Relationships: ____ /10 8

Home: ____ /10 Confidence: ____ /10 Self-care: ____ /10 Happiness: ____ /10 The area I most want to improve is: ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ _____________________________________ 9

My Story Starting over isn't only about money or careers. Sometimes you are trying to rebuild while carrying things that nobody else can see. I am still grieving the death of my younger brother. There are some losses that change you. You learn how to keep living, but that doesn't mean you stop missing the person you lost. I've also experienced unsuccessful relationships that left their own kind of hurt. When you combine grief, disappointment, financial stress, and uncertainty about the future, there are moments when it can feel like too much. There have been times when I have felt crushed by it all. But I'm learning that being overwhelmed doesn't mean I'm weak. It means I've been carrying a lot. Reflection What are you carrying that you haven't given yourself permission to acknowledge? ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ 10

WHAT AM I READY TO RELEASE? I Can't Carry Everything Into My Next Chapter Write down the things you are ready to leave behind. Maybe it's: Guilt Fear People-pleasing Financial habits Toxic relationships Negative self-talk Shame Comparing yourself to others Old expectations I am ready to release: ________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ 11

I WAS YOUNG, SINGLE & HOPEFUL My Story There was a time when I left New York believing I could create a better life for my children. I was young, single, and hopeful. I didn't have all the answers, but I had faith that if I worked hard enough and kept pushing forward, things would eventually get better. I moved more than once. I struggled financially. There were times when life felt unstable and uncertain. But through all of it, I kept going because my children were depending on me. Looking back, I realize how much strength it took to keep moving forward when I didn't know exactly where I was going. Reflection What have you done for the people you love that required courage, sacrifice, or strength? _________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ 12

I no longer need to carry: ___________________________________________ _____________________________________________ _____________________________________________ ______________________________________________ My release statement: “I cannot change yesterday, but I can choose what I carry into tomorrow.” 13

WHAT I'M TAKING WITH ME: ____________________________________________ _____________________________________________ I Am Not Starting From Zero Make a list of everything you already possess. My skills: _____________________________________________ My accomplishments: ______________________________________________ My talents: _______________________________________________ ________________________________________________ 14

My life experiences: ________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ People who believe in me: ________________________________________________ _______________________________________________ Something I'm proud of: _________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ 15

MY STRENGTH INVENTORY Look at Everything You've Become Circle or check the qualities you possess: ☐ Resilient ☐ Compassionate ☐ Hardworking ☐ Creative ☐ Organized ☐ Intelligent ☐ Loyal ☐ Resourceful ☐ Independent ☐ Patient ☐ Strong ☐ Adaptable ☐ Courageous ☐ Determined ☐ Caring ☐ Persistent 16

Three strengths I sometimes forget I have: ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ How can I use these strengths to create my next chapter? ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ 17

MONEY WITHOUT SHAME Let's Talk About Money Financial struggle can create fear, embarrassment, and shame. But struggling financially does not mean you are a failure. Money is a tool. Your current financial situation is information— not your identity. Complete honestly: My biggest financial concern right now is: _________________________________________________ The money habit I most want to change is: ________________________________________________ My biggest financial goal is: _________________________________________________ The amount I would love to have saved is: $____________________ 18

MY MONTHLY MONEY SNAPSHOT Where Is My Money Going? Monthly income Job: $____________ Side income: $____________ Benefits/other: $____________ Other: $____________ TOTAL MONTHLY INCOME: $____________ Monthly expenses Housing: $____________ Utilities: $____________ Transportation: $____________ Food: $____________ Insurance: $____________ Phone/Internet: $____________ Debt payments: $____________ Subscriptions: $____________ Other: $____________ TOTAL EXPENSES: $____________ Money left after expenses: $____________________ 19

NEEDS VS. WANTS Every Dollar Needs a Job My NEEDS Things I must pay for: ______________________________________ _______________________________________ My WANTS Things I would like to have: ______________________________________ ______________________________________ One want I can temporarily reduce: _______________________________________ One expense I can negotiate or lower: _________________________________________ One expense I can eliminate: ___________________________________________ 20

MY DEBT INVENTORY Face It Without Fear You cannot create a plan for something you refuse to look at. List your debts without judgment. Debt Balance Monthly Payment __________________ $________ $________ __________________ $________ $________ __________________ $________ $________ __________________ $________ $________ __________________ $________ $________ My total debt: $____________________ My first debt goal: __________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Reminder: Progress is progress—even when it happens one dollar at a time. 21

MY EMERGENCY FUND Start Small. Start Somewhere. You don't need thousands of dollars to begin building an emergency cushion. Start with a goal that feels achievable. My first savings goal: $____________________ I can save: $________ per week OR $________ per paycheck Where can I find extra money? ☐ Reduce subscriptions ☐ Cook at home more ☐ Sell unused items ☐ Reduce impulse spending ☐ Pick up extra hours ☐ Freelance ☐ Start a small side hustle ☐ Other: __________________ My first savings milestone: $__________ 22

MY MONEY RULES New Chapter. New Money Rules. Create your own rules. My personal money rules: Rule #1: ______________________________________ Rule #2: ______________________________________ Rule #3: ______________________________________ Rule #4: ______________________________________ Rule #5: ______________________________________ Examples: I will check my bank account regularly. I will not spend money to impress people. I will save something from every paycheck. I will ask questions when I don't understand something financially. I will stop feeling guilty about wanting financial independence. 23

MY SAVINGS TRACKER WATCH YOUR SAVINGS GROW Starting over financially doesn't mean you have to save a huge amount of money all at once. Start where you are. Even $5, $10, or $20 is a step forward. The goal isn't perfection. The goal is to create a habit of putting something aside for yourself and your future. ANOTHER SAVINGS GOAL $____________________________ I AM SAVING FOR: I WILL TRY TO SAVE: $____________ per week OR $____________ per paycheck SAVINGS TRACKER Date: __________ Amount Saved: $________ Balance: $________ Date: __________ Amount Saved: $________ Balance: $________ Date: __________ Amount Saved: $________ Balance: $________ Date: __________ Amount Saved: $________ Balance: $________ Date: __________ Amount Saved: $________ Balance: $________ Date: __________ Amount Saved: $________ Balance: $________ Date: __________ Amount Saved: $________ Balance: $________ Date: __________ Amount Saved: $________ Balance: $________ REMEMBER: Every dollar counts. Every deposit is a reminder that you are thinking about your future. 24

“Money Has Been Heavy” My Story There have been times when money has felt like a constant source of stress. Bills don't stop just because you're emotionally exhausted. There are days when you have to make decisions about what gets paid first, what can wait, and how you're going to stretch what you have. At times, that struggle made me feel like I wasn't where I should be at my age. But I'm realizing that shame isn't going to change my situation. Looking honestly at my finances, learning what I can do differently, and taking small steps forward is where my power is. Your Turn: What is your biggest financial concern right now? _________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ 25

MY NEW LIFE BLUEPRINT THIS IS WHAT I'M BUILDING Starting over gives me an opportunity to become intentional about the life I want. I don't have to recreate my old life. I can create something different. MY HOME I want my home to feel:_________________________________________ MY INCOME I want my income to:____________________________________________ MY SAVINGS My savings goal is:______________________________________________ MY CAREER OR BUSINESS I want to:_______________________________________________________ MY RELATIONSHIPS I want relationships that:______________________________________ MY FRIENDSHIPS I want friendships that:_________________________________________ MY SELF-CARE I will take better care of myself by:_____________________________ MY FUN I want to make more time for:___________________________________ MY PEACE I will protect my peace by:______________________________________ MY PURPOSE I believe I am here to:___________________________________________ THE LIFE I'M BUILDING: _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________26

INCOME RESET It's Time to Think About What You Can Earn At 50, you have something younger workers may not have: EXPERIENCE Think about what you know how to do. I have experience in: _______________________________________________ People often ask me for help with: _______________________________________________ I could potentially earn money by: ________________________________________________ Skills I could monetize: ☐ Writing ☐ Administrative work ☐ Customer service ☐ Bookkeeping ☐ Healthcare/dental administration ☐ Teaching ☐ Cooking ☐ Beauty ☐ Crafts ☐ Organizing ☐ Consulting ☐ Other: __________________ 27

MY SIDE-INCOME BRAINSTORM What Could I Do for Extra Income? Don't worry about whether an idea is perfect. Brainstorm. ____________________________________________ _____________________________________________ _____________________________________________ _____________________________________________ The idea that interests me most: My first step: _______________________________________________ ________________________________________________ 28

CAREER RESET Is My Current Work Still Working for Me? ___________________________________________ What do I like about my current work? ___________________________________________ What do I dislike? __________________________________________ My ideal work situation would include: ☐ Remote work ☐ Part-time work ☐ Flexible hours ☐ Higher pay ☐ Less stress ☐ Benefits ☐ Career advancement ☐ Entrepreneurship ☐ Other: __________________ 29

MY SKILLS HAVE VALUE! Don't Undervalue Yourself Write down skills you've developed throughout your life. Professional skills: __________________________________________________ Life skills: ___________________________________________________ Technology skills: ___________________________________________________ People skills: __________________________________________________ A skill I could improve to increase my earning potential: __________________________________________________30

My Story Somewhere along the way, I became so focused on surviving and taking care of responsibilities that I stopped asking myself what I wanted. I spent years being there for other people, working, handling responsibilities, and doing what needed to be done. Now I'm learning that it's okay to ask, “What about me?” At 50, I don't want to simply survive the next decade. I want to actually live it. Your Turn: What part of yourself have you neglected that you want to rediscover? ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ 31

THE CONFIDENCE RESET Confidence Isn't Gone. It Needs Rebuilding. Complete these statements: I am good at: ________________________________________________ I have overcome: ________________________________________________ People appreciate me because: __________________________________________________ Something I know better now than I did at 30 is: ____________________________________________________ If I wasn't afraid, I would: ___________________________________________________ My confidence statement: “I trust myself to figure things out one step at a time.” 32

STOP COMPARING Your Timeline Is Your Timeline Social media can make it seem like everyone else has figured life out. They haven't. You don't know what someone sacrificed to create what you see. You don't know their private struggles. And their timeline isn't yours. Something I compare myself to: Why does it make me feel behind? What evidence do I have that I'm actually behind? What if I'm simply on a different path? My new belief: “I refuse to measure my life using someone else's ruler.” 33

BOUNDARIES Protect Your Peace Starting over may require changing how you interact with people. I need better boundaries around: ☐ My time ☐ My money ☐ My energy ☐ My home ☐ My relationships ☐ My availability ☐ My personal information One boundary I need to establish: ______________________________________________ What I can say: “I love you, but I am not able to do that right now.” Someone I need to stop overextending myself for: __________________________________________________34

LEARNING TO SAY NO No Is a Complete Sentence You don't have to explain every boundary. Things I say yes to that drain me: _____________________________________________ Things I want to start saying no to: ______________________________________________ _______________________________________________ Things I want to say yes to instead: _______________________________________________ _______________________________________________ My new permission slip: _______________________________________________ _________________________________________________ I am allowed to say no without feeling guilty. 35

SELF-CARE WITHOUT THE GUILT Taking Care of Yourself Is Not Selfish Self-care doesn't have to mean expensive spa days. It can mean: Going to bed earlier Taking a walk Saying no Drinking water Journaling Sitting quietly Calling someone you trust Spending time outside Turning off your phone Doing something simply because you enjoy it My free or low-cost self-care list: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 36

I THOUGHT 50 WOULD FEEL DIFFERENT My Story I had an image in my mind of what 50 would look like. I thought I would be happier. I thought I would feel secure. I thought I might be married, financially comfortable, and fulfilled. Instead, I find myself rebuilding parts of my life that I thought would already be settled. That realization has been difficult. Sometimes I look around and wonder why my life doesn't look the way I imagined it would at this age. But I'm beginning to understand something important: A life that looks different from what you planned isn't necessarily a life without possibility. Maybe this chapter isn't about becoming who I thought I would be. Maybe it's about finally becoming who I am. Reflection What did you think your life would look like at 50? _____________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ What could your next chapter look like instead? _____________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________ 37

MY EMOTIONAL RESET What Am I Feeling? Give yourself permission to be honest. Today I feel: ☐ Sad ☐ Angry ☐ Worried ☐ Hopeful ☐ Lonely ☐ Excited ☐ Overwhelmed ☐ Peaceful ☐ Confused ☐ Determined ☐ Other: __________________ What is contributing to this feeling? __________________________________________________ What do I need right now? ____________________________________________________ One healthy thing I can do for myself today: ___________________________________________________ 38

WHEN LIFE FEELS OVERWHELMING Don't Solve Your Whole Life Today When everything feels overwhelming, shrink the problem. Ask: What needs my attention today? Not next year. Not next month. Today. Today's three priorities: 1.___________________________________________________ 2.___________________________________________________ 3.___________________________________________________ One thing I can postpone: __________________________________________________ One thing I can ask someone else to help with: ____________________________________________________ One thing I can let go of: ___________________________________________________39

MY SUPPORT SYSTEM I Don't Have to Do Everything Alone List people and resources that can support your next chapter. People I trust: _______________________________________________________ Professional resources I can use: _______________________________________________________ Community resources: ____________________________________________________ Someone I can call when I need encouragement: ___________________________________________________ What kind of support do I need more of? _______________________________________________________ 40

MY HOME RESET Create a Space That Supports Your New Life Your environment affects how you feel. One area of my home I want to improve: Things I can declutter: Things I want my home to feel like: ☐ Peaceful ☐ Comfortable ☐ Organized ☐ Elegant ☐ Cozy ☐ Safe ☐ Inspirational My first 15-minute home project: ______________________________________________ ________________________________________________ 41

MY DREAM LIFE Don't Be Afraid to Dream Again Forget what's practical for a moment. Imagine your life three years from now. Where do you live? _________________________________________ What does your home look like? ________________________________________ What do you do for work? _________________________________________ How do you feel about money? _________________________________________ Who surrounds you? _________________________________________ What does a normal day look like? _________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________42

MY NEXT CHAPTER VISION I Want More of This... More:_______________________________________ Less:________________________________________ I want to spend more time:__________________ ___________________________________________________ I want to stop spending time: _____________________________________________________ I want my life to feel: ____________________________________________________ My definition of success at 50: ____________________________________________________ 43

MY FIVE BIG GOALS Choose Goals That Actually Matter to YOU Goal #1 — Money ____________________________________________________ Goal #2 — Career/Income ____________________________________________________ Goal #3 — Home/Lifestyle ____________________________________________________ Goal #4 — Relationships ____________________________________________________ Goal #5 — Personal Growth _____________________________________________________ The goal that matters most right now: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ 44

From Wish to Action Choose one goal. My goal: ___________________________________________________ Why do I want it? ______________________________________________________ What is the first step? ______________________________________________________ What do I need? ______________________________________________________ Who can help? _____________________________________________________ What could get in my way? _____________________________________________________ My deadline:____________________ 45

How will I handle that obstacle? _________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ My deadline: _________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ 46

MY 90-DAY RESET The Next 90 Days In the next 90 days I want to: _________________________________________________ Financially: ________________________________________________ Professionally: ________________________________________________ Emotionally: ________________________________________________ Personally: ______________________________________________ 47

My three biggest priorities: 1.___________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ 2._____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ 3._____________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ 48

MY 30-DAY CHALLENGE 30 Days of Starting Over Day 1: Write your starting-over story. Day 2: Clean one small area. Day 3: Review your spending. Day 4: Cancel or reduce one unnecessary expense. Day 5: Write down 10 skills you possess. Day 6: Take 30 minutes for yourself. Day 7: Celebrate one thing you've survived. Day 8: Research one income opportunity. Day 9: Contact someone who encourages you. Day 10: Write down five financial goals. 49

DAYS 11–20 Keep Going Day 11: List five things you are grateful for. Day 12: Apply for one opportunity. Day 13: Save something—even if it's $5. Day 14: Say no to something that drains you. Day 15: Do something that makes you feel beautiful. Day 16: Declutter 10 items. Day 17: Learn something new. Day 18: Review your budget. Day 19: Write yourself an encouraging letter. Day 20: Do one thing you've been putting off.50

DAYS 21–30 Finish Strong Day 21: Write down three wins. Day 22: Spend one hour learning about money. Day 23: Update your résumé. Day 24: Explore a new job or income opportunity. Day 25: Do something fun. Day 26: Review your boundaries. Day 27: Put money toward a financial goal. Day 28: Write your future-life vision. Day 29: Reflect on how far you've come. Day 30: Celebrate yourself. I made it 30 days! 51

DAILY RESET PAGE Today Is a New Day Date: __________________ Today I feel: ____________________________________________________ Today's top three priorities: 1.____________________________________________________ 2_____________________________________________________ 3_____________________________________________________ Today I will do something kind for myself: _____________________________________________________ Today's money move: _____________________________________________________ Today's affirmation: _____________________________________________________52

REBUILDING MY SELF-ESTEEM My Story One of the hardest parts of starting over is rebuilding how you see yourself. Financial struggles can make you question yourself. Failed relationships can make you question whether you're lovable. Career disappointment can make you question your abilities. After enough disappointments, it's easy to start believing that maybe something is wrong with you. I'm working on changing that. I am learning to separate what happened to me from who I am. I may have made mistakes. I may have stayed too long. I may have trusted people who weren't right for me. I may not be where I thought I would be. But none of those things erase my worth. I am still here. And that matters. Reflection What has made you question your worth? ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ What would you say to a friend who was going through the same thing? __________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________ Now say those words to yourself. 53

MY WIN LIST DON'T FORGET HOW FAR YOU'VE COME When life is difficult, it's easy to focus on everything that hasn't worked out. But don't forget the things you HAVE accomplished. Some victories are big. Some are very small. And some victories are simply getting up and trying again. MY WINS WIN #1:___________________________________________________________ WIN #2:___________________________________________________________ WIN #3:__________________________________________________________ WIN #4:___________________________________________________________ WIN #5:____________________________________________________________ WIN #6:____________________________________________________________ WIN #7:_____________________________________________________________ WIN #8:_____________________________________________________________ WIN #9:_____________________________________________________________ WIN #10:___________________________________________________________ 54

SOMETHING I'M PROUD OF MYSELF FOR: ONE THING I DID RECENTLY THAT MY OLD SELF MIGHT HAVE BEEN AFRAID TO DO: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ REMEMBER: You don't have to wait until everything is perfect to celebrate yourself. You are allowed to be proud of how far you've come. 55

WHAT I'VE LEARNED My Story If there is one lesson this chapter of my life has taught me, it is this: Never stay in anything that is breaking you down for too long. I stayed in situations because I was afraid. Afraid of change. Afraid of failure. Afraid of not being able to make it. Afraid that leaving would make things worse. But staying has a cost too. Sometimes the price isn't just money. Sometimes it's your confidence, your peace, your joy, your health, or your sense of who you are. I am learning that leaving something that is hurting you isn't always giving up. Sometimes it's choosing yourself. Reflection Is there something in your life that you know is breaking you down? ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ What would choosing yourself look like? ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ 56

AFFIRMATIONS FOR STARTING OVER READ THESE WHEN YOU NEED A REMINDER I am not too old to begin again. My age does not limit my possibilities. My experience has value. I deserve financial stability. I deserve peace. I deserve happiness. I am worthy of love and respect. I can learn new things. I can change my financial story. I don't have to have everything figured out today. I am allowed to choose myself. I am allowed to change direction. I am allowed to outgrow people, places, and situations. My past does not own my future. I can make mistakes and still move forward. I can be afraid and still take the next step. I am stronger than I sometimes realize. I am still becoming. There is still time for me. MY FAVORITE AFFIRMATION: ___________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ TODAY I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE: ___________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ 57

SPEAK LIFE OVER YOUR NEXT CHAPTER WHAT YOU SAY TO YOURSELF MATTERS Sometimes the person we speak to most negatively is ourselves. We tell ourselves we're too old. We're behind. We should have done more. We should have known better. We should be further along. Today, let's change that conversation. COMPLETE THESE SENTENCES: I am proud of myself because... I am becoming... I deserve... I am capable of... I am no longer available for... I am making room for... I am learning to... MY PERSONAL AFFIRMATION: “__________________________________________________ __________________________________________________” SAY IT AGAIN: I am still here. I am still growing. I am still worthy. I am still becoming. 58

I AM STILL HERE My Story There are days when I don't feel strong. There are days when I don't feel hopeful. There are days when I look at everything that has happened and wonder how much more I can take. But then I remember everything I've already survived. I remember leaving New York with hope for my children. I remember struggling financially and continuing anyway. I remember moving and starting over again and again. I remember putting myself and my children through school. I remember working even when the money wasn't enough. I remember surviving grief. I remember surviving heartbreak. And I'm still here. Maybe I don't have the life I imagined yet. But I have a life I can still change. And that gives me hope. Reflection What have you survived that you sometimes forget to give yourself credit for? ______________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ 59

LETTER TO MY 60-YEAR-OLD SELF DEAR FUTURE ME... Imagine yourself at 60. Imagine that you've spent the next ten years making intentional choices for yourself. Maybe your finances are stronger. Maybe you're living somewhere you love. Maybe you're traveling. Maybe you've built a business. Maybe you've found love. Maybe you're surrounded by people who genuinely value you. Maybe you've simply found peace. Take a moment and imagine her. DEAR 60-YEAR-OLD ME, I HOPE YOU HAVE:_________________________________ I HOPE YOU STOPPED WORRYING ABOUT:________________ _____________________________________________________________ I HOPE YOU LEARNED:____________________________________ I HOPE YOU ARE PROUD THAT I STARTED WHEN:_______ _____________________________________________________________ ONE PROMISE I WANT TO MAKE TO YOU________________ TODAY:_____________________________________________________ LOVE, 60

MY STARTING-OVER DECLARATION My Story And I am starting over. Not because I wanted my life to turn out this way, but because I refuse to believe that the rest of my life has to look like my past. I am still grieving. I am still rebuilding my confidence. I am still figuring out my finances. I am still trying to understand what happiness looks like for me now. I don't have a perfect story. I don't have all the answers. But I have hope. And maybe hope is enough to take the next step. I want every Black woman reading these pages to know something I am learning for myself: You are not alone. You are not the only woman who thought she would be further along by now. You are not the only woman who has struggled financially. You are not the only woman who stayed too long because you were afraid. You are not the only woman who has loved the wrong person. You are not the only woman who has experienced loss. You are not the only woman trying to find herself again. And you are definitely not too old to begin again. My Declaration I may be starting over, but I am not starting from nothing. I am starting with wisdom. I am starting with experience. I am starting with lessons. I am starting with strength. I am starting with everything I have survived. And this time, I am choosing myself. My next chapter starts now. 61

TO THE WOMAN READING THIS A Final Letter From Me to You If you're reading this and your life doesn't look the way you thought it would, I want you to know something: You are not alone. Maybe you're 50 and starting over. Maybe you're 55 and wondering if it's too late. Maybe you're 60 and realizing you want something different. Maybe you're sitting at your kitchen table trying to figure out how you're going to pay your bills. Maybe you're lying in bed wondering when you stopped feeling like yourself. Maybe you're grieving someone you love. Maybe you're healing from a relationship. Maybe you're trying to find the confidence to walk away from a job, relationship, or situation that has been breaking you down. I understand what it feels like to wonder if life is supposed to be better by now. I understand what it feels like to look at your life and think, "This isn't where I thought I'd be." But I'm learning that we don't get to control every chapter. We do get to decide what we do with the pages that are still blank. So if you're starting over, start. Start scared. Start uncertain. Start with $5. Start with one application. Start with one boundary. Start with one conversation. Start with one dream. Start with one decision to believe that your life can still get better. You don't have to rebuild everything today. Just take the next step. And when you don't know what that step is, take care of yourself until you do. There is still time for you. There is still purpose for you. There is still joy for you. There is still possibility. And there is still a woman inside of you who deserves to see what happens when you finally stop settling for a life that is breaking you down. Sis, your story isn't over. Neither is mine. Here's to starting over. Here's to choosing ourselves. Here's to the women we are becoming. 62